


Yang is aware

by Shades93270



Category: RWBY
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Comedy, Kinda, Other, Red vs. Blue References, Vines, crackfic, like a lot of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shades93270/pseuds/Shades93270
Summary: Yang wakes up one day to find out that she is a character from a show and that she lives in a fiction.Spoilers until volume 8.
Relationships: Past Blake Belladonna/Adam Taurus - Relationship, Past Ozma/Salem (RWBY), Past Raven/Salem (RWBY)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. "Hello Mr Author, how are you doing?"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone welcome to my second work, yes I haven't finished the first one yet but I'm already working on this one, I'm quite ambitious I know. I don't know what will happen in this one, but it will.
> 
> Also for this fic, bold letters means that the Author is narrating or talking.

**It was early in the morning, we see the four members of team RWBY still asleep, of course, not for long as we know that they always attract problems. Anyway, the four members were still asleep as we said, the leader, Ruby Rose, was snoring slightly while mumbling about cookies and her dog Zwei. Her partner, Weiss Schnee was also asleep on the bunk underneath Ruby, with a serene expression on her face. The third member of our team, Blake Belladonna, was curled on herself under her blanket. And finally, the last member of our team, Yang Xiao long, was sleeping with a sneer on her face, as if she was having a nightm-**

"Won't you shut up!? Or do I need to come here and make you shut up?"

 **It must have been quite the strange dream as she was talking aloud and turning in her slee-** ****

"Oh you asked for it. Where are you!? I'll make sure that you stop talking with my fist in your mouth you motherfu-"

**Wait, you can hear me?**

"Of course I can hear you, you're literally talking aloud while we're sleeping which is strange since you have a boy's voice and we're girls. I'm not saying that you're a boy maybe you're a girl or non-binary or something else which is totally cool I won't judge you for that they are a lot of people and gender that-"

**Okay stop, I'm a boy you were right. But you can hear me. How?**

"What do you mean how and can't you show yourself? I don't really like talking to a wall."

**Well I'd love to but that's not really possible for me to do that.**

"Why not, can't your Semblance allow you to become visible again?"

**It's a little more complicated than that I'm afraid. How to explain it logically when it's clearly not normal.**

"Well start with the beginning."

**You're a genius aren't you?**

"And clearly you want me to shove my feet up your a-"

**Okay, okay, jeez, no need to be aggressive. So the beginning huh? Okay so, I was writing a fanfiction because my life suc-**

"What does this have to do with our situation?"

**Hey don't interrupt you'll understand. As I was saying, I was writing a fanfiction about one of my favorite series named RWBY, not Ruby as in the name of your sister but RWBY as in the name of your team, when you woke up because you heard me narrating.**

"... What? Do you really want me to believe this BLEEP! ? HEY LET ME SAY THE WORD BLEEP! OH YOU SON OF A BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!"

**Hey calm down I swear it's the truth.**

"WELL PROVE IT THEN!"

 **I just did! You can't curse right now because this fic has no warning on it which means nobody is able to curse.** "

"Bleep! that's true.

**Will you stop with the cursing, it's a little annoying to hear.**

"But wait, you're still typing this fiction right?"

**Well, not really I'm actually talking and my phone is writing what I'm saying. I guess that's how I can hear you.**

"What's a phone?"

**It's a kind of Scroll from my world.**

"So your world does not have Scrolls?"

**It also does not have Grimm, Aura, Semblances. However it does have a crazy guy in charge of a country. Well, not only one.**

"Your world seems boring."

**And your's is dangerous.**

"But it's cool."

**Yeah I guess you're right, for now at least.**

"What do you mean for now?"

**Well, soon a lot of bad guys will come and cause you trouble. Your school will also be destroyed at the end of volume three. But don't worry, this fic starts at volume one.**

"Volume one?"

**I told you, I'm writing a fic about one of my favorite show, RWBY, the show in which you come from.**

"So, this world, is not true? I'm not real?"

**For all I know I'm a character in a fiction talking with a character in my own fiction. But that would break the fourth wall even more. Maybe it's all just a bunch of multiverse and your world and my world both coexist.**

"Urgh I hate science, makes me wanna sleep. Which by the way thank you for waking me up."

**Well sorry but I didn't know that I'd be talking with somebody who can hear me.**

"What even were you gonna write about us?"

**I don't know, I just wanted to write a little without a goal, I was gonna delete it afterwards.**

"But what would happen if you deleted it now?"

**I don't know. Won't that kill all of you?**

"Yeaaah let's not do that."

**Agree.**

"Anyway, what's your name? Didn't quite catch it."

**Oh it's-**

"YANG WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING ALONE I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP RIGHT NOW!"

"What do you mean alone I'm talking with... Wait what's your name again?"

**It's-**

"Well I don't see anybody awake here except you so silence will you?"

"But I'm not talking alone! Didn't you hear him try to say his name?"

 **I hate getting interrupted, that's very ru** **-**

"Yang I literally don't have time for your shenanigans, go back to sleep."

"But I'm not crazy, tell her!"

**But she can't hear me. How do you want me to tell her?**

"Well use your writer's power on her"

**That makes no sense and really? Writer's power?**

"Well tell me something that only she knows about."

**Thaaaat's, actually a good idea. She has a bike given to her by her grandmother and she has a sister complex with her sister Winter.**

"You have a bike that's from your grandmother and a sister complex with Winter."

"I DO NOT HAVE A SISTER COMPLEX AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS!?"

"I TOLD YOU HE TOLD ME!"

"WHO IS HE!?"

"THE GUY WITH WHO I'M TALKING TO, THE AUTHOR OF THIS FIC!"

"STOP NOT MAKING SENSE!"

"OKAY WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SHOUTING I DON'T WANNA WAKE BLAKE AND RUBY UP!"

"Too late for that, I've kinda been awake for a while now."

"...Since when were you awake?"

"When you started threatening Mr Invisible, also, 'Hello Mr Author how are you doing?'"

**Well I'm doing fine and you?**

"..."

"Aren't you gonna answer him?"

"Answer Mr Invisible? Who only you are able to hear?"

**Oh that is just great, only you can hear me, they think you're crazy.**

"I'm _not_ crazy!"

"Sure because you saying that you're not crazy really makes us believe you now."

**She got you there.**

"Oh bleep! off"

"And now you're telling me to bleep! off for no reasons."

"Wait, don't you hear it?"

"Who the Author you're talking with?"

"No the bleeps."

"The bleeps?"

"No bleep! the bleeps, there didn't you hear it?"

"What was I suppose to hear?"

"Okay repeat after me, son of a bleep!"

"...Son of a, bleep!?"

"Didn't you hear it?"

"Hear what Yang?"

**I think only we can hear it.**

"If I want your opinion I will ask for it."

"And there she talks to the Voice again."

**Okay I am not getting called 'the Voice'. But she can stick with the Author.**

"He doesn't like you calling him 'the Voice', he prefers 'the Author'.

"Oh because he has wants now?"

**Tell her to go read her smuts.**

"Hey I'm not your messenger."

**Oh come on, don't you want to see her reaction?**

"...He tells you to go read your smuts."

"HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT!? I'M MEAN HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!? I MEAN THEY'RE NOT SMUTS!?"

"I didn't, but now I do, thanks Author."

**Anytime.**

"Well if this Author knows sooo much, ask him something only I know and that you don't."

 **Oh I know, ask her to whisper something really reaaaally quietly while you cover your ears and close your eyes and then I tell you what she** **said.**

"Okay that can work. Whisper something really quietly while I cover my ears and close my eyes and if I find what you said that means he really exists and I'm not crazy."

"Okay, what do I say?"

"Anything so that it proves that it's not luck."

"Find cover your ears and close your eyes...' _I hate you for waking me up.' "_

**She said that she's really happy you're her partner and not Weiss.**

"You said you were really happy that I'm your partner and not Weiss."

"Did you really say that!?"

"No I did not."

**Yeah she didn't I was just messing with you.**

"I will punch your face."

**She said that she hated you for waking her up, happy?**

"You said you hated me for waking you up."

"Wait... that's not one of your pranks right, there really is an Author?"

"That is what I've been trying to tell you yes."

"But how?"

"Yes how?"

"I don't know, he started narrating his story and I heard him."

"What do you mean his story?"

"Well we are in a fanfiction right now?"

"You're lying."

"I'm not!"

**You're not.**

"Hmph what time is it? And why is everybody awake and screaming?"

**Oh hey Ruby, how are you?**

"..."

**Well you really are the only one able to hear me.**

"Bleep! my life."

"Yang language!"

**She sounds like captain America.**

"Who?"

**Don't worry about it, I'll tell you later.**

"So why is everybody awake?"

"Well I was sleeping when Yang started talking to herself but turns out that she talks with somebody only she can see and hear and that apparently we're characters in a fanfiction."

"No that's wrong."

"But this is what you said."

"I never said I could see him. But the rest is the truth."

"...So this person..."

"The Author."

"I'm not calling him that, he can see and hear everything?"

"I don't know can you Author?"

**Yes and no. I can see and hear everything that's in the room in it's entirety in a corner of my vision, kind of like as if I was in a video-call, however I can't see behind the door and I can only see what the windows allow me to see.**

"He said yes and no but I didn't really understood what he said."

**Bleep! you.**

"I love you too."

"Okay, that's strange, but I believe you. What now?"

"What do you mean what now?"

"Well you said we're in a fanfiction right? So, things will happen? Are bad things coming and can we stop them?"

"Well he said that Beacon was gonna get destroyed but not now. And I don't know I didn't ask him. Can we?"

**"Well I guess you can if I tell you, but we have time, also I may need to leave to make sure I'm not going crazy and talking with imaginary people.**

"Oh trust me, I am more than real."

**Whatever, I will turn my phone off and come back later, see ya.**

"See yaAAAAAAAAAAA! WHAT HAPPENED!? WHERE AM I!? WHO ARE YOU!?"

**"Wait, Yang!?"**

"...Author!?"


	2. "What the bleep! is a French?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Yang just got sent to our world. What will happen now? Find out by reading this chapter. Or don't, it's your choice.
> 
> Warning, there will be cursing and french but I will translate it after each "/" For example:
> 
> "Thierry passe moi le sel."/"Thierry pass me the salt."

**"Wait, Yang!?"**

"...Author!?" 

**"This is by far the weirdest shit that happened to me, ever."**

"Where am I? Is this your world? Why are you making this face? Are we in danger? Why aren't you bleeping anymore? Bleep! Why am I still bleeping!?"

**"You? no. Me? Yes, definitely... You're in my world yes and this is my room you're in. Also I don't bleep since I'm not in your...my...the fiction I guess..." 'My parents are so going to kill me.'**

"Okay but why does it seem like you've seen a ghost? And this is so bleep!ing unfair!"

**"Well you're a girl, in my bedroom on the seventh floor of an apartment while my family is in the living room, believing that I am alone. I need to find a good explanation or they _will_ kill me."**

"Well tell them the truth."

**"Yes of course they will believe that. Didn't you see that your team didn't even believe you?"**

"Yes because they couldn't see you, so maybe your family can't see me."

**"Yang...You're a genius."**

"Glad we're on the same page."

**"Still, try not to touch anything because they may think that you're a ghost."**

"No touching things, got it."

**"Also I will speak French since we're in France so you won't understand what I'm saying."**

"What the bleep! is a French?"

**"Fuck that's right, different world. What language are we talking in right now?"**

"Remnant since our planet is named Remnant."

**"Well in my world, Remnant is actually called English and is the most spoken language, I think. Then we have other languages such as Spanish, German, and you guessed it, French."**

"Your world is complicated as bleep!, we just have one language on all of Remnant which makes things so much easier."

**"Whatever that is not important right now...Look, follow me, I will ask for something to my mom to see if she can see you. Also don't make too much noise."**

"You're the boss Author."

**"...Maman tu sais pas où j'ai mit mon téléphone?/Mom have you seen where I put my telephone?"**

"Tu l'as pas laissé dans ta cha-PUTAIN C'EST QUI ELLE!?/Didn't you leave it in your roo-WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!?"

**'Merde elle peut la voir.' "Euh maman j'te présente Yang, elle vient de Londres et c'est l'université qui propose un truc d'échange d'étudiants. Sauf qu'ils ont pas de place pour l'héberger et que j'me suis porté volontaire. Désolé de pas t'en avoir parlé avant mais j'te promets que je vais m'occuper d'elle. C'est comme si elle était pas là."/'Shit she can see her.' "Uh mom I present to you Yang, she comes from London and it was my university that had a thing with exchanged students. Except that they don't have a place to host her so I volunteered. Sorry for not telling you beforehand but I swear that I will take care of her. It'll be like she's not even here."**

"...Tu verras c'que j'vais t'faire quand elle sera pas là. Elle parle un peu français au moins?"/"...You'll see what I'll do to you when she's not here. Does she speak a little French at least?"

**"Non mais je peux traduire pour elle."/"No but I can translate for her."**

"Okay, demande lui si elle a besoin de quelque chose."/"Okay, ask her if she needs something."

**"She's asking if you need something."**

"Nah I'm good. Does she speak Remnant well?"

**"First of all, it's English-"**

"I'm not calling it that."

**"And no, just little stuffs but not enough to understand us."**

"Elle a dit quoi?"/"What did she say?"

**"Elle a dit non, ça va."/"She said no, it's good."**

"Okay, j'peux te parler une seconde?"/"Okay, can I talk to you for a second?"

**"Okay, _I'll be be back real quick, stay here._ "**

"She's gonna kill you isn't she?"

**"Let's hope not, for the both of us..."**

"...Je suis pas contente de c'que tu viens d'faire. Tu aurais pu me prévenir avant...Mais je te donne _une_ chance. Si il n'y a pas de problèmes, elle peut rester pour l'instant, mais deux choses. De un, tu devras l'expliquer à ton père, de deux, si elle cause des problèmes et que je le sais, elle part. Compris?"/..."I'm really not happy with what you've done. You could have warned me beforehand...But I give you _one_ chance. If there are no problems, she can stay here for now, but two things. One, you will have to explain it to your father, two, if she causes problems and that I know it, she's leaving. Understood?"

**"Oui maman, désolé encore."/"Yes mom, sorry again."**

"Okay...Elle est belle hun?"/"Okay...She's pretty uh?"

**"Oui mais y a rien entre nous, d'accord? Et j'veux pas d'aide d'accord, je suis très bien seul pour l'instant."/"Yes but there's nothing between us, alright? And I don't need your help, I'm really fine being alone for now."**

"Comme tu veux mais ne rate pas ta chance."/"Whatever you want but don't waste you luck."

**"Elle est mineure maman arrêeeete!"/"She's a minor mom stooooop!"**

"...You're back, what did she say?"

**"Basically you can stay so long as you don't cause problems."**

"I'll try but I can't promise."

**"Whatever, have you tried finding a way to your world?"**

"Well I got sent here after you turned your phone off, maybe if you turned it back on-"

**"You'll get sent back there, good idea."**

"Hey didn't you say you hated getting interrupted?"

**"Yes, but it's fine if I'm the one interrupting."**

"You're full of bleep! Oh come on!"

**"Hey I have a joke for you."**

"...Go on."

**"What does the interrupting cow say?"**

"Hmm, I don't know. What do-"

**"Mooooo!!!"**

"...No, just, no."

**"Oh come on, aren't you the one always making jokes?"**

"Yes but they're funny."

**"Okay well do one now you cow-ard."**

"Okay, what do you call two cows working together?"

**"I don't know."**

"Cow-operation!"

**"Aah yeah it was a little funny, but I didn't laugh."**

"Yeah but you're smiling."

**"Yeah and? So are you! You should see your face right now."**

"We'll see who's smiling when you won't have a face to see mine anymore."

**"Okay whatever, let's see if your idea worked. Oh just before that, can you check real quick if you still have your Aura, I wanna test something."**

"Sure, just punch me in the stomach."

**"I am not doing that."**

"Weren't you the one who wanted to check?"

**"Yes but I'm not hitting you."**

"Why? Cause I'm a girl?"

**"Yes cause you're a girl, Yang or not."**

"If you don't punch me in the next second I'll be the one punching you until my fist gains enough damage to see if there's Aura or not."

**"Okay fine, but you asked for it."**

"...Umph, didn't even feel anything, yup I got Aura here too."

**"Okay well do you know how to unlock people's Aura?"**

"I am not unlocking your Aura. Even if I knew how, I wouldn't unlock yours."

**"You're not nice."**

"Your world is less dangerous than mine, you told me you didn't even have Grimm."

**"Yes but it would still have helped for other things."**

"Whatever."

**"Can you ask Pyrrha then?"**

"To unlock your Aura? She can't even come here, and you can't come to my world."

**"No, ask her to teach you. She unlocked Jaune's Aura during initiation."**

"Okay fine! I will ask her. But to ask her, I need to go back to my world."

**"Okay just let me turn on my phone."**

"Hey it does look like a ScroOOOOOOOOOLL! WHY IS IT BACKWARD NOW!?"

"YANG YOU'RE BACK WE THOUGHT WE LOST YOU!!!"

"Hey Ruby, glad to be back, how long was I out?"

"You were out for fifteen minutes now, we were willing to wait for you for an hour before telling professor Ozpin what happened."

"Glad to see you care for me ice queen."

"Hmph, whatever."

"What happened Yang, where were you, is the Author still here?"

**Yes I am.**

"Yes he is and I was with him. I even saw his mom."

"And what happened?"

"Well not much. We just stood there and talked."

**Oh my god you did _not_ just say that!**

"Say what?"

**Nothing don't worry about it.**

"Anyway let's go back to sleep, it's Sunday and I am not getting up right now."

"Okay sounds good to me."

"Yeah, what she said."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight!"

"'Night."

"Hey wait, I had a question for you."

"What is it?"

"...What does the interrupting cow say?"

**Yang you bleep!ing traitor.**

"What do you ca-"

"MOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Omake:

**Whatever I will turn my phone off and come back later, see ya.**

"See yaAAA-"

"Ruby, did your sister just disappear out of in thin air?"

"YAAAANG!!!"

"Yeah she did."

"WHERE IS SHE!!? WE HAVE TO FIND HER!!!"

"CALM DOWN YOU DOLT!!!"

"WE WILL ALSO DIEEEEEEE!!!"

"Ruby Rose if you don't shut up in the next second I will literally freeze you!"

"Eeep sorry."

" _And you wonder why they call you ice queen._ "

"Good, now let's try thinking logically."

"What happened doesn't really seems logical to me."

"Will you help or will you continue with your sarcasm because you can still go back to bed if you're not going to help."

"...Fine I'll help, but only because she's my partner."

"Good, so let's resume what happened."

"She was talking with the Author when she disappeared."

"So it is safe to say that Yang's disappearance was caused by him."

"But, do you think he will hurt her?"

"Not really, he was rather rude but it's Yang we're talking about. She could bench-press Cardin with her fingers if she wanted."

"So what do we do?"

"I can't go back to sleep, so I'm going to read for now. I'm sure she'll come back...eventually."

"I guess we could stay here and if she doesn't come back in an hour, we go and tell professor Ozpin."

"Okay, let's do that...What now?"

"What do you mean what now?"

"Well, are we just going to wait here, standing there and talking?"

"...No. Absolutely not. I'm sleeping, wake me up when she comes back."

"Uwah Weiss you're so mean."

"I don't care."

"...Hey Blake, can I read with you?"

"...No."

"...I hate you guys."


	3. "I bleep!ing hate you Yang..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I still don't prepare the chapters in advance and it will probably bite my ass in the future. Also, I have homework so I won't post much for a week maybe. And I didn't start working on my other work since the seventh chapter but I will come back to it eventually.
> 
> Anyway, have a nice reading and I hope you'll enjoy.

**'Wait does that mean that I have to keep my phone turned on now? We will need to find a solution for that. Anyway it's getting rather late, I should probably go to sleep. And why the fuck am I thinking in English I'm French!?'**

_The next morning_

"AUTHOR!!!"

**You did not just shout through my phone to wake me up.**

"I just did. What you gon' do 'bout it?"

**I could bring you here if I wanted.**

"Yeah, then I'd beat you senseless if you even tried touching me. Remember, I have Aura, you don't."

**That is a good point you bring here. 'I hate her.' Anyway what do you want?**

"Me? Nothing, just wanted to know if you were still here."

**Of course I'm still bleep!ing here. Why wouldn't I be?**

"Well I could have been crazy for all I know and imagined all of yesterday's event."

**Well, you thought wrong.**

"No shit Sherlock."

**Wait so your world and my world have some references that are the same but some of them are not?**

"Well I guess, I mean, I didn't really think about it. Is it really that important?"

**I guess not, but I like learning new things. I'm curious like that. Anyway, what's today's plan?**

"Well it is Monday so classes with Port, then class training with Goodwitch."

**Your life sucks.**

"What do you mean it sucks!? Need I remind yo-"

**My world doesn't even have Aura yes I know it's the third time you mentioned it now.**

"I will pluck your eyeballs."

**Hey, do you think if you turned on your Scroll I'd get sent here?**

"Well we could try I guess gimme just a second... Did it work?"

**Nope, still in my room.**

"Guess only I can travel through the worlds."

**Get that smug look out of your face.**

"You know you love it."

**"Do I now?"**

'Wow...rude.'

**Wait, did you do something just now?**

"Uh no? I mean I thought of something is all."

**Did you think 'Wow...rude.' By any chance?**

"You have got to be bleep!ing kidding me. You can read my mind now!?"

**I heard it in my head as if I was thinking but it was with your voice. What about you, can you hear me thinking right now?**

"...Well either it doesn't work or it is safe to say you can't even think which really I was expecting coming from you."

**Oh ahah you're so funny. I won't even tell you what I was thinking about.**

"Nothing much I'm sure."

**Bleep! you.**

"In your dreams~"

**You mean nightmares.**

'Bleep! you.'

**I heard that.**

"Yeah I know, anyway see you in- WAIT!! I just thought about something. Can you hear other people's thoughts?"

**I don't know, I mean just you is already too much, I don't wanna hear Jaune or Cardin thinking in my head. Gross.**

"Just try it on someone, focus only on them, shouldn't be too hard, I think."

**Okay...But I will try it on Blake then you Chiaki wannabe.**

"Why her? Why not Weiss or Ruby?"

**Because I like Blake, and Weiss would think mean things so it would be a succession of bleeps .**

"What about Ruby?"

**She would either think about cookies or Zwei so not really hard to guess.**

"Okay Blake it is then... Hey Blake, wake up."

"Hmph What do you want Yang?"

"Can you think real quick of something, like, a sentence in your book or something, I'm testing something right now."

"...I bleep!ing hate you Yang." 'And then Sasuke showed Naruto his long katana with which he slowly, inches by inches, started to use on Naruto, penet-'

**STOP HER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HER PLEASE YANG I BEG OF YOU!!!**

"Okay that's good, seems my experiment worked."

**I don't know if it is my eyes, my ears, or my brain that is forever stained.**

"What was it about? The experiment?"

"Oh, Author wanted to know if he could hear your thoughts."

**You did, I did not you monster.**

"Oh... And uh, can he?"

"Yes he can, if him shouting at me to stop you is enough evidence."

"...I will go and kill myself now."

**Yeah you better.**

'Hey talk nice about my partner.'

**You don't even know what she thought about, trust me, if you were in my place...Well you probably would have enjoyed it you pervert.**

'Hey I'm sure you're a pervert too.'

**I am yes, but I'm discreet. And I don't read smutty books.**

'But you read smutty fanfictions I'm sure.'

**Confound you Yang, confound you.**

'Anyway, let's go to class.'

**I don't need to follow you, you know? I could just let my phone turned on in my room and come back at the end of class.**

'Yeah but it's Port's class and it will be boring keep my company pleaaaaase.'

**I didn't say I was gonna do it. Your life still is better than mine even if it bleep!**

'Yeah, onward!!!'

_During professor Port's class_

**And that is why I think that Nora loves Ren but Ren doesn't know how he feels about her.**

'I mean I understand your point of view and your arguments, but I still think that he does not swing that way and he is too afraid to tell her.'

**I'm not saying you're wrong, maybe you're right but it makes more sense to me you know?**

'Yeah yeah I see your point... Oh and what about Pyrrha and Jaune, do you think Jaune will finally notice that Pyrrha is head over heels for him?'

**Please Yang, I _know_ that he won't notice it until it's too late.**

'What do you mean too late?'

**Oh right, Pyrrha dies during the fall of Beacon at the end of volume three.**

'And you forgot to mention it becauuuuuse?'

**Well it never was brought up.**

'We will have to think about your sense of priorities.'

**Who are you? Uncle Ben?**

'...Isn't that the guy from that rice brand?'

**Yes but no, they have the same name.**

'Okay cool whatever, but let's go back to Pyrrha, aren't we going to save her and Beacon?'

**Well we can but, we will need a plan and it will be difficult and tiring for you or...**

'Orrrrr?'

**I already have a plan but, it's dumb and maybe too naive. And it will be dangerous for you.**

'Say it and I will tell you what I think about it.'

**No judgment okay? Swear it.**

'I, Yang Xiao Long, swear that I won't judge you for your plan.'

**Spit on the floor.**

'We're in class you dumb-bleep!'

**Okay okay... So to explain it quickly now. The bad guy is a women named Salem okay? She's the queen of the Grimm and is immortal.**

'Okay, how do we defeat her then?'

**That's it, we don't.**

'What do you mean we don't? Are you saying we can't beat her?'

**I'm not saying we couldn't but I don't know how. I thought about making a deal with her.**

'You want to make deal with the evilest person alive?'

**I'm sure Hitler was eviler. And no, you will, I can't remember?**

'And what would the deal be then? _If_ we ever do it.'

**Well there are four relics that she wants in her possession so that she can seal them because if someone else had the four relics with them and activated them, the world would be rid of everything that is evil, including her and the Grimm.**

'Okayyy and what is the deal?'

**Well we give her one of the relics and in exchange make her promise to not fight us.**

'And why would she keep her promise?'

**I can read her mind. I will know if she ever tries to back stab us.**

'And you think that she will agree to your deal? Salem, the big bad... woman...Grimm?'

**I'm not saying she will agree right on the spot, but it is the most peaceful way to solve this problem that I thought of. Salem is a bad person yes, I get that, but she wasn't always like this. She loved Ozma and did everything for him. But when he hid the truth from her, she couldn't take it and went crazy.**

'She's a literal yandere then?'

**Yes you could say that.**

'...Okay, I trust your plan.'

**YOU DO?**

'I mean, yeah it does seem stupid and all, I assure you, but I don't like violence and death. I like fighting, but I don't want people to die if I can prevent it.'

**Okay, thanks for believing in my plan.**

'Who will we need to warn? Ozpin? Goodwitch?'

**Yes for both, you can also warn your team if you want. But tell me when you plan to tell them so I can be here to explain it better.**

'Got it. Well, looks like we'll save the world before even the end of our first semester!'

"Miss Xiao Long, would you care to repeat what I just explained to the whole class?"

'Please tell me you were following what he was saying.'

**Sorry Yang, but you're on your own for this one.**

'Bleep!'..."Bleep!"


	4. "Yes, you can come in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the story seems to be heading into serious territory but it'll only be for a few chapters until Salem's not a threat anymore. That means that all the villains will be in the story but they won't be doing evil things.

_Two thousand years lat-I mean two hours later..._

**You can't stay mad at me for not listening to him.**

'Oh yeah? Try me bleep!'

**You really act like a child sometimes.**

'Well I am seventeen.'

**Oh haha real funny. Seriously, you will need to act like an adult for what's about to happen.**

'Sorry daddy, I'll be a big girl. There, happy?'

**I am happy yes.**

'Bleep!ing bleep!'

**Hey watch your tongue young lady. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?**

'...'

**Oh right, sorry... Do you wanna meet her?**

'You know where she is!?'

**Not really but it should be easy finding her. Either we can find your uncle and tell him that we know he can help us get to her, or we can go there thanks to Bumblebee.**

'I guess we'll see her after that deal with Salem.'

**Look at you, all grown up, I'm so proud of my daughter.**

'Is my mom even nice?'

**I wouldn't say nice...But Raven's not evil if that's what you're talking or thinking about.**

'Did I meet her in the show?'

**Yeah you found her after getting ambushed by members of her tribe.**

'They brought me to her?'

**Nah you beat them and went to the camp yourself.**

'That does sound like something I'd do. What then?'

**You found her but she didn't care about you since you didn't want to join her clan and just wanted her to help you with her semblance to go find Ruby who was with Qrow.**

'What!? Why would I do that!? I've always wanted to meet her and you're saying that after I finally found her I wanted no business with her!?'

**Well Ruby went with the remaining member or JNPR and you were home, suffering from the aftermath of the fall of Beacon.**

'I got hurt?'

**You lost your right arm yes, but more than that, you lost your will to fight. It was actually thanks to your professors and your father's words that you started training again.**

'I LOST MY ARM!? HOW!?'

**Adam, Blake's ex, was hurting her and you launched yourself at him like an idiot. He cut your arm off with his katana.**

'I can't believe it. Does that mean I fought with only one arm afterward?'

**No, you had a cybernetic arm, thanks to Ironwood. Then an even better one when you all arrived in Atlas.**

'I'm sure I looked like a badbleep!'

**You did look pretty cool yes but I think your real arm looks way better.**

'Is that you showing concern for me? Oh don't be sad mommy's fine.'

**I thought I was daddy? What happened to our roles? You can't just switch them like that.**

'Got kinda bored of being the little girl. I've always been in that role, wanted to change a little.'

**I thought you were the big sister, you know, the one playing dress-up and everything.**

'I can be both you know.'

**Women and your multitasks.**

'Are you being sexist right now?'

**I wouldn't dream of it, I for one, am a humanist.**

'You mean feminist?'

**I know what I said.**

'So you don't want women to have equal rights and wages as men?'

**Of course I do and not only women but everyone. But some extreme feminists go too far and I don't particularly agree with them. Kinda like how the White Fang has a noble goal but uses violence so I wouldn't join them even if I could.**

'I understand your reasoning now. I thought that you thought that women were inferior and that I had to beat some senses into you.'

**Save it for Cardin, he needs it more than me.**

'Oh I hate this guy. Wished I could just punch him when Gloodwitch's not looking.'

**Haven't you finished cleaning the desks by now? It's been thirty minutes now and I don't see dust on them...Hehe, dust.**

'True, I didn't even notice it. And really with the pun ? You're worse than my dad.'

**Well I am your daddy.**

'Grmbl!!!'

**Anyway, we should probably go and find Ozpin and tell him about our plan.**

'Are you sure we can trust him? Isn't he the one always keeping secrets and everything?'

**I don't like him much for doing that yes it's true. I hate how he keeps secrets. But he is a powerful ally and our best chance if we want to solve the problem with Salem.**

'Okay let's find him in his office then... There we are.'

**Just knock, he won't eat you...I think.**

'... _knock knock...'_

_"_ _Yes? You can come in."_

**Bow-chicka-bow-wow.**

'Pervert.' "Hey professor, are you available right now?"

"Miss Xiao Long, you do know that you are still a minor and that I am not the young man I used to be."

**I might just be gay for him when he's being sassy like that.**

'Gross.' "No professor I was wondering if we could talk about something important...In private."

"But of course, as a professor I must help all of my students. Close the door and take a seat please."

"...Okay, so, how to explain?"

**Ask him who Ozma is.**

"Ozma?"

"I'm sorry what?"

'Why should I ask him about Ozma we already know it's him.'

**Yeah but I just wanted to caught him off-guard. It's a hobby of mine.**

'You're such an idiot.' "Someone asked me to tell you who Ozma is. So, who's Ozma?"

"...Who told you?"

**Don't answer his question, tell him that you will tell him after he tells you, I want to see how far he's willing to trust us.**

"I'll tell you after you answer my question, and no lies, only the truth."

"...Well, I guess there is no point in hiding this now, but it better stay in this room miss Xiao Long... Ozma was my first life, my first identity if you would. However, I was cursed to reincarnate after each of my death. I would end up in someone else's body. Ozpin, was the latest person with whom I fused. But as time passes, in the end I end up taking the entire control of the body, as bodies were only crafted to host one mind, one soul."

"Who cursed you and why?"

"It was the two brothers of light and darkness themselves. As for why, it was for a good cause. My first love, Salem, turned to the darkness and the Grimm. The brothers decided to give me a chance to stop her. That is all. Now, would you please tell me who told you to ask me this question?"

"Well, I don't really know his name but I can ask him. Hey Author, what's your name?"

**I guess I never really told you, It's-**

"Who are you talking to? Who is this Author? Is he in the room?"

"He's in my head if you wanted to know. And he's not from our world."

"You want to tell me than an outer being is currently living in your head and told you to ask me about my past?"

"Yup."

"...You are the worst spy I have ever met, and I have lived a long life, or long lives to be more exact."

"But I'm not a spy for Salem, I swear!"

"How do you know I was thinking about Salem?"

"WHO ELSE HAVE WE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES!?"

"...That is a valid point."

**I love him so much. He's so dumb.**

"As I was saying before you accused me of being a spy, I have someone in my head who knows what will happen and is here to save Remnant."

"Can I talk to him directly then?"

'Can you?'

**Can I?**

'You little!...' "No he says that he can't but I can be your messenger for now, I hate doing this."

"Okay, then my first question is how does he know about my past?"

**Tell him than since he said first he'll only have three questions.**

"He said that you only have three questions."

"I see, then let me change my question. How do you know about these future events?"

"...He said that in his world, our world is just a series and that he knows all the important events that will happen in the next three years."

"Okay...My second question is, why would he want to save Remnant? It is not his world he does not need to care so why?"

**That is a good question, let me think a second here.**

"...He doesn't like violence and tragedies. He likes our world and its people and he wants to save them. It's his way of showing his thanks to us for teaching him some life lessons."

"Understandable... What is your plan against Salem?"

**...**

'Author?'

**No no I'm here I'm just... I still think that my plan is too childish.**

'Hey it's all right, you can't doubt yourself right now, people are counting on you, you can't let them down.'

**You sound like your sister...Thanks Yang...**

"...He doesn't plan to attack Salem, he wants to make a deal with her."

"And what is this deal about?"

**Hey that's four questions.**

'Shut up.' "He plans to give Salem one of the relics and in exchange she won't attack us and let us defend ourselves against the Grimm as long as we also don't attack her."

"And why would she accept this deal?"

**Five.**

"Because she's scared, she doesn't want to disappear and we don't plan on killing her if we can avoid it."

"Alright... Do you trust him?"

**Six and do I trust who?**

"He's asking who?"

"I am talking to you Yang. Do you trust him?"

"I...I do. More than anyone else."

**Oh look at you making your daddy cry have you got no shame?**

'I will rip your heart right out of your chest.'

"Thank you miss Xiao Long for informing me, and you too I guess misteeeer?"

"Call him Author."

**What!? No!? Tell him my name.**

'But how can I tell him if I don't even know it myself?~'

**I bleep!ing hate you Yang.**

"Strange name, never heard of it."

"It's from his world, they all have strange names."

**WE DO NOT AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE OF THEM YOU LYING BLEEP!**

"I can believe it. You may leave if you want." 'I might need to throw other children off a cliff to vent out some stress.'

**Ozpin's a sadist I knew it.**

'Really? Doesn't seem like so.'

**Anyway, we need to find someone to take us to Salem.**

'Did you have someone in mind? No pun intended.'

**Well we could wait at Tukson's for Emerald and Mercury but I might need to watch the show again to see if I missed some important events.**

'Can I watch it with you? You know, you bring me to your world and we watch it.'

**I guess, when do you wanna do this?**

'How 'bout tonight? We could marathon it.'

**Alright but now that you've finished with your classes, how 'bout we cause some, mischief?**

'...You're thinking what I'm thinking?'

**I always do...No like, I really always do. I'm literally doing it right now. But you were thinking about Cardin right now weren't you?**

'Yup.'

**Lead the way.**

_Omake:_

"So Glynda, what is your opinion on the matter?"

"...Sir, with all due respect, I think you should resign from your job."

"But think about it Glynda, it would teach them never to drop their guards. They think that they will never be launched off of a cliff again. There is an important life lesson to gain from this experiment."

"Sir please, they weren't even supposed to get launched off the first time around. You literally changed plans at the last possible second when you learned that mister Arc did not have his Aura yet."

"They should always expect the unexpected Glynda."

"They are just children."

"They are young and full of energy, I am sure they will be fine."

"...Do whatever you want but do not include me in your schemes. I'm leaving, _I_ have classes to teach."

'I cannot wait to tell James about it. The look on his face will be priceless.'


	5. "...I just doomed us all haven't I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I checked for fanfics with a time travelling Yang but I only found one where she comes back in her younger body. So maybe, when I'm finished with this story, I could work on one where Yang comes back but with a lot of experience. Let me know what you guys think and again, have fun reading.

**Are the dishes ready?**

"You call junk-food dishes?"

**I call everything dishes, I don't know the words for food in English.**

"Remnant."

**Whatever, are they ready?**

"Yes they are just need to grab my drink and we're good to go."

**Did you tell the others about tonight's marathon?**

"Yeah they wanted to go but I don't know how we will make them come with me. Maybe with a video-call through our scroll but then again, wouldn't the connection be cut-off?"

**I guess we could still try. How about holding them while you travel through the worlds?**

"I don't know, could be dangerous, every time felt like a roller coaster."

 **Aren't you supposed to ride a bike? You should have been used to the** **sensation .**

"I guess we could try but if something happens to them because of me-"

**Nothing will happen stop being such a baby.**

"I hate you...GIRLS ARE YOU READY FOR THE MARATHON!?"

"YES, YES WE'RE COMING!"

'One word and-'

**Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow.**

'I'm gonna kill you.'

**With pleasure.**

"Hey Yang sorry we were asking team JNPR if they wanted to come watch with us but they already had plans."

"Nah it's fine ,don't worry... Sooo, we're not really sure if we can get you guys travelling with me but we'll try, everyone hold my hands and Weiss you can hold my neck."

"Why do I have to be the one holding your neck!?"

"Because I love getting you flustered. Hold on tight everyone, Author you can go!"

**Right..."Hey girls."**

"Hey Author."

"Wait, you're Author?"

**"Yup. What, were you expecting something else?"**

"Well, no but... you know what don't worry about it."

**"I still take offense to that."**

"OH MY GOD THERE REALLY IS A SHOW ABOUT US LOOK WEISS IT'S US BUT DRAWN AND HERE IN 3D MODELS!!!"

"SHUT UP YOU DOLT I CAN SEE IT!!"

"This is gonna be a long night isn't it?"

**"Yup kitty caaaa... Can I ask you something before we start."**

"What?"

**"Not here, just follow me."**

"...What is it you wanted to talk about?"

**"Can you... Can you take your bow off real quick?"**

"How did you know!?"

**"I thought it was established that I know a lot of your future and your past... Oh shit."**

"What?"

**"Well, in one episode, they figure out about your heritage."**

"You're kidding me right?"

**"I'm sorry but it's true."**

"...I have to tell them before we start watching right?"

**"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't think about it. Ruby and Yang don't care but Weiss... Just, please don't run away. You're not even in your world so you'd get lost."**

"Okay, I promise."

**"...Girls, we have to tell you something but please, no shouting especially you Weiss."**

"What is it?"

"I, I'm a Faunus."

**"But not a White Fang member! Anymore at least."**

"..."

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Have you ever killed someone?"

"No I didn't, I was with the White Fang when it was only a pacifist organization. However when they started using violence I left."

"Do you still support them?"

"I support their goal, but not how they want to achieve it."

"...Fine, I forgive you, even though from what you told us, you don't have to apologies for anything... Thank you for telling us Blake."

"You're welcome Weiss."

**"This went so much better than in the show. Speaking of which, let's start!"**

"Let's go!"

_Sometimes during the show:_

"Why did you destroy his club?"

"He was pissing me off."

"That's not a reason at all!"

"Can we go back to the show please?"

"Wait I don't remember doing that."

"Yeah me neither."

**"I think this is your future then. Well, not anymore but it could have been."**

"So from now, we remember these events and try to stop them right?"

**"Nope, we already have a plan."**

"What plan?"

**"It'd take to long to explain, I'll explain after the volume is over."**

_"I hate this game of emotions we play./Be strong Weiss, we'll make it through this together./Shut up, don't touch me!"_

"I do not act like that!"

"I don't know Ice queen seems pretty accurate to me."

"Shut up you brute!"

**"Could you please be quiet, I'm trying to watch this."**

"You already saw it you idiot!"

**"So what, I can't enjoy it again?"**

'Whoa Blake seems angry in this.'

**"Yeah she wanted to chase after Torchwick."**

"You can also read my mind when I'm in your world!?"

**"Yup, also the others when I'm focused."**

"YOU CAN READ MINDS!? WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW!?" 'Crap I really hope he can't read mind or he'll know about what I did with Crescent Rose this mor-Oh Oum he's smiling he knows! Why did I open my mouth again!?'

**"I have no idea what you were thinking about Ruby, no idea at all."**

"YOU LIAR YOU KNOW!"

**"Oh look it's Sun isn't he a nice character, right Blake?"**

"Eh? Oh uhm, I guess? I don't really know him that much, I mean, I didn't meet him, yet."

**"Then why are you blushing?"**

"Your room is warm it's not my fault!"

**"Yes of course, because that's the only reason."**

_"Either you shut up now or I will make you shut up!"_

**_"Okay okay, learn to live a little."_ **

"Wow team CFVY is pretty cool in action."

**"Yeah and the song they used for this scene is so good."**

"What's it name?"

**"You can't expect me to know the answers to all your questions...It's 'caffeine' by the way."**

_"Bleep! you."_

"RUBY XIAO LONG-ROSE DID YOU JUST CURSE RIGHT NOW!?"

"WHAT HOW DID YOU HEAR I WASN'T EVEN TALKING ALOUD!?"

**"We heard the bleep."**

"Then why didn't you react!?"

**"Didn't feel like it, let's stay that it was your only free ticket."**

"Well I don't, we're gonna have a long talk back in our dorm young lady."

"WEISS PLEASE SAAAAVE MEEEEE!!!!"

"LET GO OFF ME YOU DOLT!!!"

"C'EST QUOI TOUT CE BRUIT À LA FI-/WHAT'S ALL THIS NOISE ALL ABOU-"

**"Maman, c'est pas c'que tu crois./Mom, it's not what you're thinking."**

"Et je pense à quoi dis-moi?/And what am I thinking about tell me?"

**"...J'vais avoir des problèmes./...I'm gonna have problems."**

"C'est comme si tu pouvais lire dans mes pensées./It's almost as if you could read my mind."

**'Oh the irony...'**

_"Hey Yang, who's she?"_

_"That's his mom."_

_"And what are they talking about?"_

_"How should I know I don't speak French."_

_"What's French?"_

_"You know, I asked the same question myself."_

"Et elles parlent pas français non plus j'imagine?/And they also don't speak French I imagine?"

**"Non, mais elles resteront pas ici, elles restent avec d'autres élèves. Elles sont juste-là pour regarder une série avec moi. Regarde, elles se sont même cosplayer pour ressembler aux personnages./No, but they won't stay here, they stay with other students. They're just here to watch a show with me. Look they even cosplayed themselves to look like the characters."**

"C'est vrai qu'elles les ressemblent. Bon, j'vais vous laisser comme ça m'a l'air d'être la vérité, mais je t'ai à l'œil...Pas d'bétises okay?/It's true that they look alike. Fine, I will leave since it seems like the truth, but I'm watching you...No stupidities okay?"

**"Mais j't'ai dis qu'elles étaient mineures MAMAN!/ But I told you they minors MOOOM!"**

"...That just happened. What did she say?"

**'I hate her.' "Nothing important, but yeah you won't stay sleeping here."**

"Yeah that wasn't the plan."

**"I know that that wasn't the plan but she didn't. She thought we were... You know...?"**

"We were what?"

'Don't say it in front of Ruby, or your mom won't recognize you next time she sees you.'

**"Oh you know, doing a pillow fiiiight?"**

"Oh yeah because then the room would be a mess. That makes sense."

**"My thoughts exactly, a mess." 'I'm so glad I can lie on the spot... Wished it would save me more though.'**

"Anyway, the volume ended while you weren't looking. We stopped the breach and Torchwick's in prison. We won."

"Yeah but Cinder's still out there. Do we ever catch here?"

**"No but you'll see what happens next later. Here you can take my computer for now, I don't use it."**

"Doesn't it need connection to your world to work?"

**"Well let's hope the creators of the show were lazy butts and based the CCT on the Internet."**

"Okay, well it was nice seeing you Author."

**'That's not my name.'**

"Hey do you think we can see his search history?"

**"I do not have a search history!"**

"Oh no what if it's us!?"

**"Will you shut up oh my god!"**

"Why are you all red Author? Is the room temperature getting to you now?"

**"You pervert go back to reading your lewds AND DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT THAT TIME YOU THOUGHT ABOUT NINJAS OF LOVE!!"**

"NO DON'T SAY IT PLEASE! THEY'LL THINK I'M A PERVERT! I ONLY READ IT BECAUSE OF THE ACTION SCENES!"

**"I'm suuure there's a lot of action all right."**

_"Hey Weiss, what are they talking about?"_

_"I'll tell you when you're older you dolt."_

_"Is it about that book with the katana?"_

**"And please stop thinking about it so vividly I can hear AND see your thoughts and I don't want to know about your yaoi fantasies!"**

"It's only secondary to the actual plot!"

**"I don't care just please stop!"**

"Well I think we'll go, it was a nice pajamas party though. Thanks Author."

**"Wait before you go, I have to ask Weiss something."**

"What is it?"

**"Do you...Do you know how to unlock someone's Aura?"**

"Oh my Oum not this bleep! again."

"Uhm yes I do, don't you have an Aura?"

"Nope, could you maybe unlock mine?"

"I don't see why not, you are trying to save Remnant after all, this is the least I could do."

**"Yeah awesome."**

"Just come here...For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee."

**"I don't see anyth-OH MY GOD I'M GLOWING GREEN FUCK YEAH!"**

"...I just doomed us all haven't I?"

"Took the words right outta my mouth."

**"Oh come on, it's not like I'm immature or something. I am quite responsible. Sooo, what do you think my Semblance is?"**

"We don't know, sometimes it just comes naturally, sometimes you never find out. It's just a question of luck."

**"Shit that's true I forgot about that. I don't want to be a Torchwick, fuck."**

_"Yang, he said bleep!"_

_"I know Ruby."_

_"That's the second time."_

_"I know Ruby."_

**"I hope it's something cool, like, I don't know, gravity or something."**

"I, frankly doubt, that it would be a Semblance as strong as gravity."

**"That's because you lack imaginations Blake, you leave it all to those books of yours."**

"...Bleep! you."

_"Why is everybody cursing!?"_

"Shut up you dolt you also did, I'm the only one who didn't lower myself to such disgraceful acts."

**"Yeah, you only act like this when you're thinking about Winter after all."**

"I WILL TEAR YOU LIMBS FROM LIMBS YOU MOTHERBLEEP!ER!!!"

**"Now Ruby, look at what you've just done."**

"But I didn't want for this to happen!"

**"But yet it did. You have to think before talking. Hasn't Yang taught you this?"**

"If you say my name one more time, I-"

**"And now Yang is angry, really Ruby try to be more OH MY GOD I WAS JOKING PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!"**

"COME HERE YOU LITTLE BLEEP!!!!"

**"PLEASE HAVE MER-WEISS DON'T HELP HER!!!"**

"THAT'S FOR THE COMMENT ABOUT MY SISTER YOU DEGENERATE!!!"

**"BLAKE HELP ME PLEAAAAASE!!!"**

"Ruby did you hear something? Because I sure didn't. Such a shame that my Faunus' ears are under my bow and I can't hear anything."

**"I WILL SPOIL YOU THE END OF NINJAS OF LOVE IF YOU DON'T HELP ME!!!"**

"NOT IF I KILL YOU NOW!!!"

**"RUBY STOP YOUR TEAM PLEASE I BEG YOU!!!"**

"Sorry Author but you know what the say. If you can't beat them, join them."

**"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"**

_30 minutes later:_

**"I...hate...all of...you...I can't feel my...everything."**

"I guess this is a victory for team RWBY."

**"Fuck...you."**

"Did you girls hear something?"

"Yeah I think I heard it too."

"Let's ask Author if he knows. Hey Authooor~ did you hear something?"

**"You're the worst Yang...I always hated you."**

"Nope, must have been our imaginations then. Are you ready to go back now?"

"Yes, I need my beauty sleep after all this beating."

"Lead the way."

"Bye Author, it was nice meeting you!"

"Okay everyone, hold on tight, Author it's when you want."

**"Wait, I wanted to test if you could take people from my world with you."**

"Oh great idea, hold on to my waist then. We wouldn't want you to fall right?"

**"Haha, _you bimbo."_**

"Did you say something?"

**"No no just how funny you were. And here we goooo-I'm still here...Bleep!**

"And we're back to our dorm."

"But where's Author?"

**I'm here, I wasn't able to come with you it seems. Man, this bleep!**

"Oh too bad, I wanted to go to my favorite bar with you."

**I don't even drink.**

"Who talked about drinking?"

**...Aaaanyway. Starting tomorrow we will have to wait at Tukson's until Mercury and Emerald arrive so they can take us to Cinder.**

"Sounds like a plan. Hey girls, tomorrow we'll wait at Tukson's to prevent the bad guys from killing him."

"Why do we have to come? Can't you do it alone?"

"I'm fine with going, I knew Tukson from the White Fang. Plus, I heard he opened a library, so yeah I'm game."

"I'm gonna have to sit this one out. Jaune and me-"

"Jaune and _I_."

"-are training together to plan tactics. Leader stuff and all."

**Tell her that Jaune's Semblance allows him to boost other people's Aura.**

'It does? Wow that is so cool. I mean, not as cool as my Semblance, but pretty cool nonetheless.' "Jaune can boost people's Sura with his Semblance. Author told me."

"Really!? We can create so much more tactics now! I wonder if I can go even faster now, or run for a longer period of time."

"Yeah you can figure it out with him tomorrow. I'm going to sleep, 'night everyone!"

**Why are you taking the computer with you then?**

'Just wanna watch some episodes you know? I'm a little curious about what happens next.'

**You do know that it won't happen now?**

'Yeah but, I still want to know. Guess I won't be sleeping tonight.'

**Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow. Well I'm still going to sleep, so have fun Yang.**

'Night Author.'


	6. No Yang, I'm not beating my meat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been far too long, I missed this. Welcome back to this...thing I guess I don't know. It was on a hiatus for all I know but now, we're, back!!! Buuuut I'm a little tired and sick so frick! There might be more mistakes than usual so sorry and please do tell me if you spot one. Now, as promised, time for chapter 6 :)

_A few days later, because waiting everyday with nothing important happening really isn't that interesting._

'And then I said, 'Madam, I sincerely doubt that you of all people...Hey are you listening to me?'

**Uh? Oh yeah yeah of course.**

'What was I talking about then?'

**The thing with the guy, and his semblance that was cool or something, right?**

'Ding-dong, you're wrong, seriously, I feel like I'm talking to a wall sometimes.'

**Well IIII"m sorry but you just keep talking and talking, it doesn't seems to end.**

'Are you bleep!ing me right now? You're the one always talking about things that he did during the day.'

**No I'm not!**

'Are too!'

**Whatever, I'm kind of in the middle of something important right now so I'm not really listening, I should have warned you, sorry.**

'What's so important that you're not listening? Are you beating your meat perhaps~?'

**Sometimes I wonder who's the bigger pervert between you and Blake.**

'I don't hear a no~.'

**No Yang, I'm not beating my meat. Far from it actually. I'm doing my homework. And that bleep! bleep!**

'It can't be that bad.'

**A five year old could do your homework, your world's education was made by a bunch of wankers...Uh? Wankers isn't considered and insult. Maybe it's because it's British?**

'Is British one of the country in your world?'

**British's the language and Great Britain, Britain, the United Kingdom bleep! if I know since it changes every time, is the country, or are the countries?**

'I thought you knew your world better than that. How am I supposed to lie to your mom now if you can't teach me where I 'come from'?'

 **First of, did you use air quotes? Second of, you're not talking to her more than you have to.** ****

'Why, scared to have two mommies?'

**No, because she's straight, and she's, well not married, but she lives with my dad.**

'Whatever.'

**Are you even attracted to girls?**

'Is it really important? Will your opinion about me change after I tell you?'

**Nope, I don't care, you do you buddy.**

'What about you, last time you had four attractive girls in your room and you didn't even make a move.'

**Do I look like some kind of predator to you? You're minors and I'm not... Also my mom would kill me.**

'So if we weren't minors and if your mom didn't warn you-'

**With you? Gross, nope. Not even if you were the last woman on earth, and I can't stress the 'woman' part enough, I wouldn't even think about it.**

'Aren't you the one who wrote the fic where you said that I was you favorite character?'

**DID YOU READ MY OTHER WORK? BLEEP! IT YANG!**

'Hey, I finished the last episode two days after we finished volume three. And since the episodes come out every Saturday and I finished watching the fifth season of Red vs Blue I had to watch something else, or in this case, read something else.'

**You watched RVB? WITHOUT ME!?**

'I didn't know you liked it.'

**Well I do, I finished season 17 last week actually and now I watch the latest season as the episodes come out.**

'Don't spoil me, I really like it. Also, who's your favorite character?'

**Well I'm sure your's is Tex, mine's Grif.**

'How'd you know it was Tex?'

**Maybe because she's one of the only strong feminine character in the first seasons I don't know.**

'Yeah yeah, but why Grif? He's lazy, rude and stupid. His only ideas involve food and his stomach.'

**...I was gonna rant about how he reminded me of myself in someways and how he was an inspiration for me but it seems that you disagree with this way of living.**

'You're not as lazy as him. You were the one who thought about the deal with Salem, and all those tests about our two worlds, you're not giving yourself enough credit.'

**I had these ideas because if they worked I wouldn't have to do anything afterward! No more work for Remnant, I'd be able to focus on my studies.**

'Are you saying you made this plan about saving the world, which really is only depending on huuuuuuge luck, ONLY BECAUSE YOU WERE LAZY!!!???'

**Well, when you say it like that...**

'If this plan doesn't work, I swear to you that Salem will be the least of your worries.'

**It's not like she can come here if she wants to, I'm the one with the phone remember.**

'BUT WHAT ABOUT REMNANT!?'

**Of course I care about Remnant, but I also think about myself, I'm not an altruistic person, I'm just a man, not a hero.**

'Not with that attitude no.'

**I do care about Remnant, if not I wouldn't have told you about your world, about RWBY and about the deal. But I'm scared too, my world is harsh yes, but your world? It's scary as bleep! We're not as strong as you are, we don't have Semblances, we don't even have Aura, I guess we do have a good military but that's not enough against Salem.**

'I'm only hearing someone who's scared.'

**I just said that!**

'Whatever, after your plan works, if it works, we won't have to fight anymore. So you'll be able to leave and stay in your world and do your stupid homework whenever you want, how does that sound?'

**You know I'm not a fighter, this is the real world Yang, I'm not a character like Jaune who gets stronger with time and training. I don't train, I don't like doing physical tasks, I'm not even that smart. I want to help yes, but I can't help people in your world like I would in mine. The deal was the only solution I had to oppose Salem.**

'...'

**Yang?**

'...'

**You're giving me the silent treatment now?**

'...'

**Look I'm not sorry for what I said, but I guess how I said it could have gone a little bit bett-**

'They're here, shut up.'

**Oh, I didn't notice them. I'll tell you if she uses her Semblance.**

"Well hello there, isn't Tukson here?"

"Nope, he left, sorry Emerald."

"Oh that's too- Wait, how do you know my name!?"

"Oh I know a lot, but don't worry, your secrets are safe with me...If you help me with something that is."

**She's in the back of the store near the windows, but Mercury's walking toward you, he's on your right.**

'Bleep! Let's gamble then.'

"I also know about your Semblance and how it works, you can drop it, 'right' Mercury?"

"...She's smart, I like her."

"Thanks, you're not so bad either, I'll call you if I ever 'knee'd your help."

**Yaaaang, now's not the time for puns.**

'Oh shut up I can hear you smiling.'

"We don't really do the whole, helping gig. So how about you tell us how you know about us and maybe we'll only break a few bones."

"Wow, and the bad guys threat, I'm so scared! Maybe Cinder will give you a raise... Or not, if she hears that you disobeyed her and still went after Tukson."

"How do you know so much Blondie? Are you working with the pumpkin head and his mute friend?"

"Roman and Neo? Nah, I like them though. Nope I work alone, but I'd like to have a word with Cinder, or more precisely, Cinder's boss."

"...Cinder has a boss? Did you know this Em?"

"No, I did not."

"So, are you gonna help me or not? In exchange, I promise to come alone."

"...Deal. Come with us. And if you make just one suspicious move, Merc here is gonna blow your brain all over the pavement, clear?"

"Emerald clear."

**You, are bleep!ing crazy Yang, I know that my deal was ambitious but you clearly play on another level of madness.**

'Thank you very much.'

_At Cinder's lair_

"Cinder, we have someone for you."

'Really, I wonder who it could be.'

"Make them come in Emerald."

"Hey there Cinder, how are you doing my sister from another mother?"

"My...What? Emerald who is she and _why_ did you bring her here?"

"She knew about our plan and who we are and she asked me to take her to you."

"BEEP...False, I actually asked her to bring me to your boss."

"I don't have a boss girl."

"And who's Salem then? Your mommy?"

**Ow, going for the kill I see.**

"...Tell me why I should bring you to her and not kill you in the next three seconds."

"I have important information for her, she wants to hear them, trust me."

"And why would I trust you?"

"Because, you don't want to lose your eye and your arm, do you now?"

"What, you think you can hurt me maybe?"

"Who said me? I didn't. I know some things that you don't. Things that happened, things that are happening right now, and things that will happen. Things that _Salem_ is very interested in hearing."

"...Fine girl, but only because I know that I could kill you in a second if I wanted."

**HOLY SHIT IT WORKED! YANG AFTER THIS IS OVER...Well, I don't know what I'll do for you but I'll find something nice I promise, not to expensive though.**

'Not now Author.'

**Yeah yeah sorry.**

"Sounds good to me. So, when can I meet her?"

"Come here tomorrow and I'll take you to her. However, you will come alone, understood?"

**If they're so strong, why are they scared of a little company?**

'Hey if it works, it works.'

"Fine by me Cinder, see you tomorrow then. Oh and I loooove that dress, where did you get it?"

"If you don't leave in the next five seconds I will burn you alive."

"Talk dirty to me baby I love iiiiit!..."

"Emerald?"

"Yes Cinder?"

"If you ever bring another person like her here, I'm not responsible for what will happen to you."

"Yes Cinder."

"Seriously though, how the bleep! can someone-"

**"-be so fucking awesome I swear. She kept her cool during both exchange, and she even made a few jokes, but she did it!"**

"Wow Yang, I'm impressed, it seems I underestimated you."

"Don't worry ice queen, when this is over, you'll properly thank me."

"Let's not go this far."

"One second girls, you mean to tell me, that you talked to Cinder, one of Salem's henchmen, alone?"

**"Yes Ozpin that's what we said."**

"...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!??? HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE!!!???"

"I wasn't alone, Author was with me."

"HE WAS IN YOUR HEAD HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN TALK TO YOU!!!"

**"Actually, I was reading their minds while they were talking to warn Yang if they attacked."**

"YOU STILL COULDN'T DO A THING!!!"

**"Oh shut it Ozpin, you only caused problems with Salem, it's your fault if we have to 'deal' with her in the first place."**

'Such an hypocrite!'

**'Oh you like it shut up.'**

"I advise you watch what you're saying young man."

**"Whatever, you can't hurt me here. My Semblance is far stronger than yours."**

"Oh? What is it then?"

**"..."**

**"Yang, I know I already owe you a lot, but please toss me my phone and grab Ozpin."**

"Did you hear something? Because I suuure didn't."

**"Damn it Yang!"**


	7. You're enjoying this aren't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there fellow readers, I don't have anything interesting to add except maybe that I had an other idea for a fic, this time about Ozpin and why he chose Ruby as the team leader. It's also not a serious fic, it seems being serious is not something I'm currently able to do.

**Are you sure you understood everything I just told you?**

'Yes I did, and even if I didn't you could just tell me again, you're in my head I remind you.'

**You know I'm all for goofing around but this is serious, like, super serious. The kind of serious that's so serious that it becomes funny and you do _not_ want to laugh in front of Salem.**

'Relaaaax, I'm a great actor, I know how to keep my act.'

**I sure hope you do... Man, when this is over I'm gonna need a drink.**

'I thought you didn't drink.'

**I thought about an ice tea actually.**

'I don't know, maybe a-'

**Strawberry sunrise, you're so predictable.**

'-fist in your face would be preferable.'

**...You're scary, you know that?**

'I do my best thanks.'

**This wasn't a compliment, in any shape, or form.**

'Isn't that the same thing though?'

 **Bleep! it Yang just focus on your** **task!**

'Okay okay, whatever, we're here.'

"I was expecting you."

"Yeah I know, you told me to come, why wouldn't you be expecting me?"

"...Just, just follow me, and shut up."

"Alright..."

'So is this a trap?'

**Nope, she's only swearing, a lot actually. That's the longest bleeps in a row I've ever heard someone say, or think.**

'So I'm not in any danger right now?'

**Currently? No. But stay on your guards, we don't know what could happen.**

'Okay.'

_Skip the travel to the Land of Darkness, man if only we could skip events in real life, it's be like King Crimson's ability, anyway, back to the funny_

"We have arrived."

"Well yeah, I can see that"/ **Well yeah, I can see that.**

'JINX!'

**Bleep!, I didn't know how to say it in English, you're lucky.**

'In Remnant, and you just talked so you have a dare.'

**So you want to talk to Salem alone then?**

'...You'll get your dare in time, I'll be sure not to forget.'

"Are you scared to meet our queen? Is that why you're not talking anymore?"

"Hmm? Oh no I was just thinking a little. What about you, you didn't talk during the whole flight in the bullhead, any particular reason?"

"No, I just didn't want to have a conversation with you... And I had to watch Emerald and Mercury in case they planned on playing one of their stupid cards game."

"Do you even like them a little? I mean, they're the closest thing you have to a family."

"...Maybe Emerald yes, but Mercury's a little bleep!"

"Oh you don't know the half of it! I heard that one time he stood on Emerald with his legs and she couldn't get up because of the weight."

"He really did that!? Well I guess it is a little funny, poor Emerald though."

"Yeah, she doesn't have it easy, you should be nice to her once in a while, she deserves it."

"I'll keep that in mi-wait what am I doing!? You're against Salem! I shouldn't even be having this discussion with you!"

"Hey I'm not against Salem, quite the contrary actually. My deal is beneficial for the both us. Really, I actually help her a lot with this."

"Whatever, we're almost here."

**So, is Cinder your new BFF?**

'Nope, but she's really hot.'

**Well in the show she was already hot, but here? I'm surprised you didn't even mention it sooner.**

'I was preoccupied with the plan, couldn't get distracted.'

**Wow, Yang you're so mature for your age, a real lady.**

'I have my moments... Oh no, not him.'

**Bleep! I hate this guy, I really hope he at least goes to jail.**

"Welcome back Cinder, Mistress Salem was really intrigued when you said you would bring someone with you. I suppose it's you, but you seem quite...young."

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

**Stay calm Yang, he only wants to anger you, and I'm pretty sure he's stronger than you so don't fight him.**

'No it's okay... but I really want to break every bones in his body, the little bleep!'

"Not in the mood are you? Is this perhaps the time in the month wh-"

"Tyrian, I swear, if you even think about finishing this sentence I will set you on fire."

"Are you defending her Cinder? You two must be very protective of each other."

"No, I just hate hearing your stupid little voice."

"Yeah his voice is giving me a headache."

"I'm not your friend stop talking to me!"

" _Well someone's angry."_

"Just open the door Tyrian, and go die in a hole I don't care."

"But of course Cinder, you just had to ask... My queen, Cinder has finally arrived with her, 'friend'."

"She's not my friend! My queen..."

"And who might you be young lady? You look like somebody that I used to know."

**'But you didn't have to cuuuuut me oooff.'**

"I am Yang Xiao Long, daughter of Taiyang Xiao Long and Raven Branwen."

**You prepared your entrance didn't you?**

'While we were on the Bullhead, I'm way ahead of you.'

"Raven Branwen? It has been a while since I heard from her, and you do look like a carbon copy of her."

"Yes, I heard people say this to me."

"So what is it that you want to talk with me about?"

"...I came here, to ask you to do nothing."

"...I'm sorry, could you repeat your demand?"

"I'm asking you to do nothing."

"...I am not sure that I understood, what do you mean do nothing?"

"Well, I want you to do nothing. Don't do something."

**You're enjoying this aren't you?**

'More than you think.'

"Okay I get the do nothing, but nothing about what!?"

"About your little war with Ozpin of course, or Ozma, whoever you prefer."

"So you came here, in my kingdom, with the intention to ask me to stop fighting in this war against Ozma? Is that it?"

"Well, when you say it like that, it does sound a little far fetched."

"A little is putting it slightly."

"But basically yes, but don't worry, Ozma will also abandon the fight. He doesn't win, nor do you win. But you both don't lose."

"Did you tell him about this already?"

"Yes, and he said that if you gave up on the war he'd also stop. He wants peace."

"...Why should I trust you? What do I gain from stopping the fight?"

"Well I know what he did and what he planned, and I talked him out of it. As from what you gain, it will be a maiden, and a relic, so you don't have to worry about Ozma or anybody else gathering all the relics and killing you. You'll be able to live a quiet and peaceful life doing things that you enjoy doing."

**It is a pretty solid deal, everyone gains something from it.**

"It is a pretty solid deal, everyone gains something from it."

**No I was talking to myself, don't repeat it.**

'Oh sorry, just a little tired I guess.'

"...What about the Grimm? Aren't people going to know about my doing?"

"We won't tell them, and in exchange we just want you to stop summoning them and to let us defend against them. After all, without Grimm, there aren't huntsmen and huntresses anymore."

"...You must have a lot of courage, asking me all of this, knowing that I could kill you in a heartbeat if I wanted... fine, I accept your proposal miss Xiao Long."

**HOLY BLEEP! YOU DID IT!**

'SHUT UP I WANT TO SMILE!'

"But shouldn't one of the maiden die in order for us to have one?"

"Well, it's a little complicated but, Cinder will have to give her maidens power back to Amber, and then she'll need to go to Atlas. They have the winter maiden, but she's old and sick. If Cinder looks after her, and I mean really look after her. Don't think only about the power but think of the person who possesses them, who was only known as a maiden and not a Human, then, if you really took care her of her, her powers should go to you, making you the new winter maiden."

"It would take some time, but if you keep your promise, I don't see why not. What do you say Cinder? Are you up to the task?"

"If she's really old, couldn't I just kill her? You know, save her from the suffering."

"You could, but you're better than that Cinder, we're all better than that, we're just asking for a little more time. She's a really sweet woman, once you get to know her. Please Cinder, I don't want anymore useless death."

"...Fine, I will look after her."

**And just like that, we saved Remnant.**

'I did most of, no, all of the talking, you did nothing.'

**It was my idea wasn't it?**

"By the way, was it your idea to make this deal?"

**...Uuuuuuhm**

'Uuuuuuuhm'

"Not really?"

"Who was it then?"

"It's... A little complicated to explain. The person's... not here anymore. I'd rather not talk about it."

**Hey it's almost the truth, the anymore part's a lie, but it's pretty close to the truth. Nice work.**

"I'm sorry then, it wasn't my place to ask so."

"No no it's... okay. Just a little fresh in my memory."

**Yeah, like five seconds ago.**

'SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!'

"Well, you can go now, I'll be sure to keep a close eye on you in the future miss Xiao Long... By the way, do you have your mother's contact with you?"

"Uhm no... why?"

"Oh just to catch up with her you know? We were close when we were younger, as in _really close_ if you catch my meaning."

"IIII do not want to hear about it. It was nice meeting you Salem, also you Cinder, not you Tyrian. I guess I'll see you at the end of the week so I can arrange a meeting between you and Ozma."

"Take care... Is she gone?"

"Yes she is."

"Oh my Oum, she really takes after her mother, I had a lot of flashbacks for a moment."

"Do you really accept her deal or do you plan on stabbing her in the back later?"

"I thought of it at first, but she reaaaaally looks like Raven. Also what the bleep! Cinder!? You know I don't lie."

"Sorry my queen I forgot."

"You can stop calling me your queen you know? The war is over."

"But what will I do now?"

"I guess you could stay, it gets pretty lonely in here, and I'd keep paying you and your associates."

"Really? Thanks my q-Salem, thanks Salem. And they're not my associates, they're my family... well Emerald is, Mercury's a little bleep!"


	8. "I'd be using big words like... multiculturalism, or updog."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I posted the last chapter, I wrote "Ozpin's Secret" in less than an hour, and while I do feel proud of it, now my eyes hurt. But, it's a small price to pay for salvation. Anyway, since Remnant is finally saved, let's see what Author and Yang do during their free times. This also means that starting now, the chapters may vary in size, because I loooove inconsistency.

_After our valiant heroes defeated Salem and...Wait oops, wrong script. Hm-hm, after Yang and Author made a deal with Salem, Remnant, was still infested by the creatures of Grimm yes, but at least they were the only threat... the only important threat... oh whatever, let's just see what they're up to some days after the deal._

**"If I have to watch another video about proto-indo-european, I'm shooting myself. Without using my Aura."**

"We get it! Your homework bleep! Just keep it to yourself."

**"Easy for you to say, you just stay here all day playing Tekken on my PS4."**

"Well it is a nice fighting game, we didn't have that on our Scrolls."

**"It's not a good fighting game it's the best fighting game. But couldn't you play it somewhere else than in my room? Where I'm studying!?"**

"Isn't that the plot for a por-"

**"No it isn't. Just please use earphones or a headphone, I have mines in my hear and I can still hear you losing with Josie."**

"It's not my fault, she uses her legs to fight instead of her fists."

**"I don't care... and that is so not how it works, she was designed to kick and not to punch, she is pretty balanced."**

"Yeah, I'm sure she could take you in a fight. By the way, have you discovered your Semblance yet?"

**"I have actually."**

"And was is it?"

**"Well, it's not that cool but it could be useful. I can create a loop which lasts ten seconds. Moreover, it doesn't seem to eat at my Aura."**

"A loop?"

**"Yeah a time one. Let's try it... now, tell me something and don't stop talking."**

"Oh uhm, my name is Yang, you're an idiot, Cinder is pretty hot."

**"Okay now just wait a little... now, tell me something and don't stop talking."**

**"** Oh **uhm,** my **name** is **Yang,** you're **an** idiot, **Cinder** is **pretty** hot."

**"You can stop now, do you understand now?"**

"Yes I think I do, and your loop, you can do it indefinitely?"

**"Yes, but only for ten seconds."**

"But that's so cool, you can predict every one of your opponents move before they do it!"

**"Well yes, but no. Not everything reset at the beginning of the loop because if they did, we wouldn't know that they happened. I don't reset, which means that if I get cut, the cut will still be here at the beginning of the next loop, and the one after that. Only my initial position will reset."**

"Oh, so it's not like a checkpoint?"

**"No, it's not. It can be useful if I could dodge during ten seconds and then counterattack a move that I remember dodging, but since your all faster than me..."**

"Wow, that's a really complicated Semblance which, by the way I have to ask, how did you discover it?"

**"Have you ever microwaved a pizza for a minute and waited twenty minutes to realize that only ten seconds have passed?"**

"You can't be serious."

**"..."**

"OH MY OUM YOU'RE SERIOUS!!! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!!! TWENTY MINUTES!!!??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**'And the pizza wasn't even that good afterward.'**

"Oh bleep! I almost peed myself laughing, oh Oum. Even Jaune would have realized it sooner."

**"Aaaand I'm done with my homework for today. I don't feel like working while you mock me."**

"Oh is Author sensitive? You want a hug maybe?"

**"Yeah I do, but not from you, you're not nice with me."**

"Well bleep! it up big boy! The world isn't a nice place."

**"Your face isn't a nice place."**

"Care to say it to myyyy face?"

**"Nope, don't want to get beat up again, with or without Aura."**

"Clever boy."

**"No he's in Atlas remember? Still alive by the way."**

"You're not even that funny, now I don't want to play Tekken."

**"So... what do we do now?"**

"...Are you sure this doesn't feel like the beginning of a bad por-"

**"No, for the last time it doesn't feel like it. How about we just talk?"**

"People do that!?"

**"Yeah it's called socializing, I see adults do it every time when I get out."**

"And how much do you get out exactly?"

**"...No."**

"I thought so."

**"Man, talking without trying to be funny is hard?"**

"Do you know what else is hard?"

**"No, please do tell me what else is hard?"**

"Life, it's hard, it's long, and it bleep!"

**"...Okay, that was a little funny, nice subversion."**

"Thanks, they don't call me the mistress of-"

**"Yes, they don't call you anything because you're not _that_ funny."**

'...Bleep!hole.'

**"Hey I heard that!"**

'HeY i HeArD tHaT!'

**"You really are just a child sometimes."**

"Well you can't forget:"

"I'm still a minor./ **You're still a minor."**

**"Yeah pretty hard to forget it since I have to remind myself of it everyday."**

"And what if I wasn't?"

**"I'd be using big words like... multiculturalism, or updog."**

"What's updog?"

**"Nothing much, how 'bout you?"**

"Oh you smug bleep!"

**"Can't you call your teammates through your Scroll?"**

"Yeah I could, but they're occupied right now. Ruby's spending time with Jaune, talking about leader stuff, Weiss's with Neptune, and Blake's in the school library."

**"She's not reading a book is she!?"**

"Yeah shocking right!? I didn't know people could read in those things!"

**"Can't she come here, I'm tired of talking with you."**

"...Really?"

**"Nah I'm not, just kidding... wait, why are you crying?"**

"What!? Shut up I'm not crying, just a little dust in my eye."

**'A water Dust yeah.'**

**"Don't cry, I do enjoy your company. Unless you cry because you dislike my company in which case, keep crying."**

"Pfft, as if I enjoyed spending time with you. I'm only here because you're the only person here who speaks Remnant."

**"English!"**

"Tomayto-tomahto."

**"Just call Blake, people like her."**

"Who?"

**"People."**

"Yes but who, we're alone here."

**"Are we though?"**

_No they're not, but they don't know it._

**"Hey did you hear someone just now?"**

"Yeah your mom just shouted that she was back home."

**"Uh, neat."**

"Meat."

**"Beat."**

"I knew you thought about beating your meat."

**"I didn't think about it. I just didn't have other words rhyming with meat."**

"Well I have, there's kit, fit, tit..."

**"First of they don't end with the same letters as neat or meat and second of, you just said tit, look who's a pervert now."**

"Hey I'm a girl, I'm allowed to say tit."

**"And I'm a boy so I'm allowed to say beat and meat in the same sentence. Not that other people who don't consider themselves as male can't say it, but... damn it Yang.This is all your fault."**

"How can you be accusing the poor innocent girl?"

**"You're not that innocent."**

"And what does that mean!?"

**"It means that you're the impostor!"**

"...You know that it's not going to save you."

**"At least I tried and hey, at least I can train my Semblance a litt-NO NO PUT THE CHAIR DOWN YANG! YAAAAAAANG!!!!!"**


	9. "Now, we're just standing there and talking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote two fics between this chapter and last chapter, so yeah you can go and check them out if you want, it's free. And for those who read and put kudos on "Ozpins secret" you guys are awesome, I didn't plan for it to literally explode and beat my other fics in LESS THAN A DAY WHAT THE BLEEP GUYS!!!?  
> But enough about "Opzin's secret", here goes another chapter of "Yang is aware".

**"..."**

"..."

**"...So, aren't you going to say anything."**

"No? Why? Are you going to die if I don't?"

**"I may."**

"Then at least there'd be silence."

**"Come on, there must be something we could do together, Yang and Ruby will be gone for less than half an hour."**

"Where even did they went? Leaving me here alone with you?"

**"You're not alone if I'm here, you know, this goes against the definition of being alone."**

"Just please go bother someone else, I wish Blake's be here instead of you. She'd be reading her book in silence."

**"I guess we don't always have what we want... come one Weiss, I'll even talk with you about boys."**

"Will you now?"

**"Wait, nope, I changed my mind. Even I wouldn't go that far."**

"Tell me about it. I joked about it with Ruby and she thought I was serious."

**"Yeah I know, we literally watched the episode the last time you were here."**

"Oh yeah, that's true. Sometimes I forget about it you know? Before, all we did was fighting Grimm, now though?"

**"Now, we're just standing there and talking."**

"...Is this a reference? I swear I heard Yang say it a few times already."

**"Maybe? Maybe not? Who knoooows?"**

"Whatever, let's talk about something."

**"Yeah but about what? You know I was kidding about the boys part."**

"Don't patronize me! How about we talk about the people we know?"

**"Like, people in Remnant or people that I know from this world?"**

"The people from Remnant at first, then maybe those from your world if they don't come back by then."

**"Alright, then who do we start with? Oh oh I know how about we say if we go out with the person or not?"**

"Why not do this too? Fine by me. Let's start with Ruby then."

**"I would, too bad she's a minor."**

"Okay you don't have to say that to every person that's a minor. Half of us are minors."

**"Okay okay I'll stop, and yeah I'd go out with her. What about you?"**

"Well, if she ever start showing some manners, why not?"

**"That's some WhiteRose if I ever heard one."**

"What's a WhiteRose?"

**"Nothing nothing just a joke. How about Blake? I'd do."**

"I'd do too, she's calm and smart unlike some other people."

**"Hey sometimes, people want that energy and the chaos that comes with it... speaking of which, how about Yang?"**

"Pfft! Absolutely not! Have you seen her? She's vulgar, reckless and doesn't even think before acting."

**"And she's the one that saved all your butts from Salem."**

"It was your plan."

**"And she executed it and even added her own bits to it. I'd give her more credit if I was you. She's really smart you know. No not smart, what's another word for smart?"**

"Intelligent?"

**"No, not this one, oh come on I know this word, like ingenuous? Sly?"**

"Cunning?"

**"...Yeah that works too."**

"Well maybe she could show it more."

**"She can't actually. If she did people would look for her for every problem that they had. So she hides it most of the time."**

"Wow, I never thought about it this way."

**"Yup, but you made your choice. Now, how about Jaune?"**

"Okay no, I was maybe a bit hard with Yang but I'd never go out with him."

**"Yeah me neither, he has a good heart, but he's too much of a dork to be in a relationship."**

"Agree, Pyrrha now. I'd do, she's a good fighter and she's nice."

**"Nah I don't know, she's great don't get me wrong but she's not really my type. Plus she's got a huge crush on Jaune."**

"She does?"

**"Are you blind? Of course she fucking does."**

"Well sorry mister 'I watched the show because I don't have a life'."

**"YOU SAW HER KISS HIM IN VOLUME 3!"**

"...Oh right. I forgot about it."

**"You're rather forgetful today aren't you?"**

"Shut up, I'm just tired."

**"Whatever, Ren. And I'd totally go out with him. No homo though. He's just the perfect husband you know?"**

"Yeah, he'd take care of me after a long day of speaking with you."

**"I'm going to ignore that. How about Nora?"**

"Nope, same as Yang, but with more dynamite."

**"Yeah this time I have to agree. Too much sugar I swear."**

"Who's next?"

**"How about Glynda?"**

"Are you serious!?"

**"What?"**

"I thought we only did students!"

**"Nope, we do everybody. And I'd go with her, everybody thought at least once of going out with a teacher."**

"I guess I'd do. She's scary but that's because we do cause her some problems."

**"Next, Ozpin."**

"Not in a million years. That man has really some screws loose."

**"Oh I'd date the shit out of him."**

"You what!?"

**"You heard me, that guy is the villain among villains. You think he's a nice, wise man, but underneath those shades and these grey hairs, behind his cup of coffee, is a monster with no thoughts about the well being of others."**

"And you'd date someone like that? I'm scared you're the one with some screws loose now."

**"I'm all for it baby."**

"Okay, then what about professor Port?"

**"No way, nuhuh, nope, hard pass."**

"Yeah same, maybe when he was young and sane but right now? Even Jaune's a better choice."

**"You really have something against him don't you?"**

"It's not my fault if he keeps on calling me snow angel, he knows I hate it."

**"I find it funny."**

"Of course you would."

**"I have one last person in mind."**

"Who?"

**"...How about, Winter?"**

"...You know that Yang's not here to save you?"

**"Oh come you keep looking up to here for her acceptance. You have a sister complex just admit it."**

"I DO NOT HAVE A SISTER COMPLEX FOR THE LAST BLEEP!ING TIME!!!"

**"Alright alright, if you say so... but would you go out with her?"**

"NO I WOULDN'T SHE'S MY SISTER!"

**"But if she wasn't?"**

"I wouldn't because we look too much together, that'd be creepy! There! Are you happy now you incest freak!?"

**"Nnnnever better."**

"Hey guys we're back!"

"And we brought some snacks with us!"

"Mainly cookies."

"Why am I not surprised?"

**"Please, this is Ruby we're talking about."**

"...I hate when you have a point."

"So what did we miss? Nobody's dead so I guess it was fine."

**"Yeah it was, we talked about people in general and even laughed a few times."**

"I didn't laugh stop lying."

**"Well I did, internally. Don't think I didn't see what you thought when I mentioned Glynda. That was kinky Weiss."**

"YOU READ MY MIND!?"

**"Yup. That was pretty hardcore even for me. And all this rope damn..."**

"Wait doesn't this count as voyeurism? Plus she's a minor so that counts as pedo-"

**"Shut up she's the pervert not me! I didn't say I wanted to see her thoughts! They were too strong for me to ignore them."**

"Always with the excuses."

"Wait, you thought about Glynda and ropes? Bleep! Weiss you're hiding your game pretty well."

"Wait I don't understand, what's this about ropes?"

"..."

"..."

**"...I'm not answering that."**

"Come on you never tell me about these things I want to know too!"

"Nope dear sister, you will have to wait until you're married and at least thirty before you can know."

"Not fair!"

"So what did you two buy except cookies?"

"What do you mean except?"

"...Yaaaaang?"

"She has really strong puppy eyes, not my fault!"

**"Damnit Yang it's the third time this week!"**


	10. "SHUT UP YOU DOLT YOU LOST US!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter I will take a break since it's the tenth one. I should work back on my first fic even though now that I read it again it feels wrong. But I have to. Spoilers: it'll be about Ren and Nora.

"It's not lewd."

**"It is."**

"It's not!"

**"Is too!"**

"IT'S A MASTERPIECE AND I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO MAKE FUN OF IT!!!"

**"Blake, I read it, and you know what I found in it? Sex, lots, and lots of sex. Unprotected sex even."**

"They're both boys they don't need to wear condoms!"

**"...You do know that babies are not the only transmissible things that can happen during sex right?"**

"But we have our Auras, we can't get sick or share our sickness."

**"...Wait really?"**

"Yeah, we only use condoms to avoid pregnancies."

**"When you say we,-"**

"NO! I didn't mean we 'we'! I meant 'we', the people of Remnant."

**"Right... You know I wouldn't judge you even if it was the case?"**

"...Really?"

**"Nah I'm just kidding of course I'd judge you. You're still a minor and that's pretty irresponsible. With a boy or a girl. Or boys and girls. Your concept of polyamory is still more advanced than in our world."**

"I think that people can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't endanger anyone else."

**"I'm just saying, sex is a big deal. It's not something that you should joke about. It can become an addiction and some people, especially young people, don't know this."**

"That's because schools don't tell us these things in sex classes."

**"Hey, I'm not accusing anyone, I'm just saying what's true."**

"Well maybe you should accuse people."

**"And have opinions? No thanks. I believe what I believe, I may be wrong on a lot of things, but I don't care. They won't ever change my life."**

"You shouldn't take these things so lightly, the Faunus suffered a lot because people who thinks like you."

**"I'm gonna have to stop you there, I dislike racism as much as you okay? If I see a racist you can believe me when I say that I'd punch them."**

"And you're violent too, great!"

**"Blake, I like you a lot, but you're really hard to deal with sometimes."**

"What is that supposed to mean?"

**"Just read your lewd, I don't care."**

" _It's not lewd..."_

**"...Look, I'm sorry if I offended you. It wasn't my intention."**

"No, I was acting rather... how to say it?"

**"Like a bitch?"**

"...Yes, like a bleep! okay. It's just, it's really important to me, I've fought all my life for this and it felt like you were taking it as a joke."

**"I know I'm not someone who fight for what I believe is right, but I'm not like that, I can't and don't want to change myself to be honest. I just want to live a normal life, get a decent job, help people along the way. I'm lazy, that's my biggest defect."**

"You still saved us all, a lazy person wouldn't have done so."

**"It's not about** **laziness, it felt like the right thing to do so I did it. Yang did more than me, she's the one you should thank."**

"No, you both saved us. You had the base plan and she executed it her own way. Don't think so lowly of yourself."

**"What!? I don't think lowly of myself! I'm the best person I ever met! And the funniest too!"**

"Yeah no, I wouldn't go that far, you're not even in the top hundred."

**"Way to help me with my confidence."**

"You're welcome."

**"...What will you do now?"**

"Go back to my book."

**"No I meant, now that the war with Salem is over, what will you do? What about the White Fang, Adam, your family?"**

"Oh, uhm... I didn't really think a lot about it. I did think, but not a lot."

**"...I think you should go see him and explain why you did what you did."**

"He already knows, he believes I'm a traitor, and I guess he's right."

**"Bullshit, you both want the same thing, you just have different methods. He's angry because he thinks you're his. You're your own person, don't let anybody tell you what to do."**

"...But does that mean I have to do or not do what you just said?"

**"Yes."**

"I don't know if I can go and see him, I'm too scared."

**"It's okay to be scared, but it shouldn't control you... If you want, I can go and talk to him first."**

"You? A Human? Why do you think he'll even listen to you?"

**"Because I don't want to fight him."**

"That's a stupid answer."

**"Maybe, but it's the truth. How about it, I talk with him and plan a date between you and him so you can make up."**

"...Alright, but promise you'll be careful."

**"Okay fine I promise."**

'BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!'

**"Yang's got a problem."**

"What is it?"

**"I don't know, I'm just hearing her cursing."**

"How can you hear her and I don't?"

**"No like, her thoughts."**

"Oh right, I forgot you could do that."

**"What is it with you girls and forgetting stuffs? "**

_Brrr...Brrr...Brrr_

"I hear something vibrating."

**"Oh, must be Yang then. Let me take my phone... Yes hello?"**

_"Hey Author, how are you doing?"_

**"Well just fine, but what about you, I believe something happened."**

_"What? No no everything's fine."_

**"I heard you cursing in your thoughts."**

_"BLEEP! betrayed by my own brain! Whatever, we kinda got lost, could you pick us up?"_

**"What do you mean you got lost?"**

_"Well we were on our way back and Ruby thought that she recognized the way so we followed her. But she was wrong and now we're lost."_

_"OW OW I'M SORRY I LEGIT THOUGHT WE PASSED THIS STREET! STOP PINCHING MY EAR YOU'RE GOING TO RIP IT OFF!"_

_"SHUT UP YOU DOLT YOU LOST US!"_

_"So yeah, could you pick us up?"_

**"Yang, you have a phone."**

_"Yeah, so what?"_

**"That means you can use it to find the way back."**

_"Really!? Bleep! they're better than Scrolls."_

**"Just use google maps."**

_"Google what now?"_

**"Oh my god!!! Look for an app named google maps."**

_"Okay okay, you don't have to shout at me... Found it, what now?"_

**"Ask it for your position."**

_"Hey phone, what's my position?"_

**"...Yang, I know you didn't try to make a joke, you just asked it for your position."**

_"That's what you asked me to do!"_

**"There's an option that should tell you about your position! Phone's don't work like people!"**

_"Oh yeah that's true, it says we're-"_

**"It says you're where? Yang... Yaaaang!?"**

"What happened?"

**"The line was cut... She's not answering. I think her phone's battery died."**

"What should we do?"

**"I'd wait for them to come back usually, but Yang's with them so I guess we go and look for them."**

"Bleep! it Yang."

_Meanwhile, in our universe... with Yang, Weiss and Ruby:_

"Author? Author!? Bleep! the phone isn't turning back on!"

"What do we do!?"

"Everybody stay calm, let's think rationally."

"I don't know the meaning of the word."

"Which one?"

"Take your pick."

"...Whatever let's just go back to the stores and ask for somebody to use their phones."

"I don't remember his phone number."

"Fine then let's call the police and ask them for help."

"And you want to call them with what exactly?"

"You're not really helping Yang."

"I'll stop when you'll have a good idea."

"Oooh buuuuurn."

"Shut up Ruby it's your fault that we're lost in the first place!"

"Yeah shut up sis."

"Why's everybody so mean today?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe you should have told us sooner that you didn't recognized where we were going!"

"I didn't want you to shout at me and now you're doing it!"

"You two shut up! We'll go back to the stores, ask anyone if they know how to repair the phone and if nobody can help we'll just wait there. Maybe Author and Blake will look for us since we're not answering."

"Hmph, I was going to say this too before you interrupted me."

"Really? Because it didn't seem like you were doing a good work."

"Ruby. Shut up."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Nobody helped us."

"Thanks captain obvious."

"Let's just wait until Author and Blake come pick us up."

"But I'm hangryyyy!"

"It's hungry you dolt."

"No I'm hungry and angry because I'm hungry. So that makes me hangry."

"...I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss Author. We would have joked about being hangry together."

"Wait I just thought of something."

"What?"

"Earlier, he read your mind right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Just tell him that we're waiting for them here."

"I didn't think of that, good job ice queen."

"Oh tell them to bring cookies with them."

"Nope, that's your punishment for getting us lost."

"Yang you meanie!"

'Hey Author, we're waiting at the stores, your phone isn't turning back on so we're waiting for you to pick us up. Also, can you bring cookies with you? Thanks, and sorry for getting lost.'

"You look like you want to poo when you're thinking."

"And you look really punchable right now."

"You wouldn't!?"

"Wouldn't I?"

"She would./ **She would."**

"Hey you're here."

"Did you bring cookies!?"

**"Nope sorry, I got your message too late, we were already on our way."**

"But I'm hangryyyyy."

**"Calm down Grif there's food at home."**

"Bleep! you I wanted to make the joke earlier but you weren't there!"

**"Sorry but you should have been faster then."**

"I hate you. Let's just take your car."

**"What do you mean my car?"**

"Well how did you get here so fast?"

**"Uuuuh we walked? It's not that far. Come on lazy butts, let's walk back home."**

"For the record, I am never going to the stores with Ruby again."

"You're still on that!?"

"Talk about holding a grudge."

"Well next time you get lost, I'm not going to get you."

"Why did you come then?"

"To walk with Author, to pay him back for something."

**"Oh Blake stop you'll make be blush."**

"I take it back, next time, I'll go with you as long as I don't stay alone with that guy."


	11. "What do you know? I'm a girl, I know my colors. You're a boy, you don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, there will be minor spoilers for the second episode of Helluva Boss, so you've been warned.

"I can't believe they didn't want me to tag along."

**"Really? You can't? You really have no idea?"**

"Okay I did only buy cookies the first time I went and I admit that I got us lost the time after that. But it's not like I wanted us to get lost in the first place!"

**"What about the cookies?"**

"...I'm not apologizing."

**"I mean sure they were great, but you can't only live off of cookies."**

"Are you challenging me?"

**"No I'm not, Ruby you're not invulnerable to diabetes."**

"But cookies are so good!"

**"Doesn't mean you should eat them everyday. I'm surprised you're not fatter."**

"Hey! I workout and train everyday, my figure is even better than what's considered tolerable for my people my age."

**"Oh you mean the fifteen years old who can't even reach their feet while bending forward?"**

"I can touch them."

**"Yes, because you're small."**

"Ugh, I get it I'm small. Why does everybody feel like they have to remind me everyday!?"

**"Because it's funny to see you pout, yes just like that ahah!"**

"Grrr stop laughing!"

**"Aaah sorry, it's just so funny you know? You should see your face in a mirror."**

"At least my eyes don't turn red when I'm angry."

**"Hey, that is fuc-fuming cool. Like if it happened for me I'd get myself to always be angry."**

"I prefer her lilac eyes better."

**"Red ones for me. Have you watched until we see her mother? Her eyes, god damn."**

"Yeah I saw her. She looks a lot like her, but red and black instead of yellow and lilac, and brown, and orange, and beige that one time against Roman."

**"I don't know, I think it was more of a white actually."**

"What do you know? I'm a girl, I know my colors. You're a boy, you don't."

**"I would disagree, but I never agree with my mom on colors too, women genes are something else... And I'm a man, not a boy."**

"Sure, and I have grey eyes."

**"Yeah about that, do you think Neo could do like you with her eyes if she turned them silver?"**

"Uh, I don't know, maybe. I'd actually prefer seeing a boy with silver eyes. So far only Maria, my mom and me have been seen having them."

**"And Neo those times she turned like you."**

"And Neo those times she turned like me yes."

**"You don't seem to like Neo."**

"Of course I don't like her, she works with Torchwick. We stopped Salem, but that doesn't mean Torchwick or the others will stop acting bad."

**"I guess, but at least Salem stopped."**

'Could you send me a picture of the groceries' list, I left it on the table since Ruby wasn't letting me go. Thanks.'

**"Just give me a second, Yang needs a picture of the list, she forgot to take it."**

"I knew I should have come! I never forget it!"

**"She said that it was your fault if she didn't pick it up. Apparently you weren't letting off of her."**

"...You don't believe her do you?"

**"I don't know, she's not the type to lie you know."**

"You're all a bunch of meanies."

**"And you're a mini."**

"STOP RIGHT THERE! Yang's not here! You do not get to make puns in her place! It is forbidden!"

**"So I can if she's here then?"**

"No to that too."

**"You're no fun."**

"No I'm bored I wanted to go grocery shopping. Don't you have anything fun to do or watch?"

**"Well we could make a pun contest-"**

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?"

**"-or we could watch Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss."**

"What are they?"

**"They're cartoons, funny but a bit dark... you know what maybe we should watch someth-"**

"We're watching them!"

_An hour later:_

"Do you think Ruby's still mad that we didn't take her with us?"

"I don't know about her but I'm glad we didn't get lost this time. One time is enough."

"What do you think they did while we were gone?"

"Are you suggesting that they-"

"No no I meant... well yeah they could have done that."

"You're all perverted, every single one of you. Ruby's fifteen, she doesn't even know how babies are made."

"She knows actually, our dad told us when I was ten I think."

"But, wouldn't Ruby have been eight then?"

"Even ten is too young!"

"Well I never really thought much about it. If it's how it's made then just live with it."

"No wonder you're the biggest pervert."

"I don't know, Author seems to know a lot too."

"Hey I was wondering, we always call him Author. But what's his real name?"

"Oh it's... wait, I can't remember. Wasn't it... I don't know. I think it starts with an A, no an R, wait no-"

"Just admit that you don't know."

"Okay fine I don't. Should we ask him then?"

"I don't know, it's been a month since we've met and it'd be awkward if we asked him now."

"Yeah I agree, you can ask if you want but I'm not doing it."

"Then let's agree never to speak about it again."

"Agree."

"Yup."

_"NO NOT THE ROBOT-CLOWN! NOT AGAIN!"_

"Hey isn't that Ruby?"

"Why is she shouting?"

"Did she just talk about a robot-clown?"

"Why did she say again?"

**"...and the song is really good, I promise it isn't sca-hey girls, back already?"**

"Yes, what was that thing about a robot-clown?"

"WHERE!? WHERE!?"

"Ruby there are no robot-clown, it was just a chair, nothing else."

"...Do I want to know what they're talking about?"

"I don't. That's just her dolt brain imagining things."

"Hey what's that on the screen?"

**"The second episode of Helluva Boss."**

"Is it good?"

**"Well..."**

_Another hour later, and they did put away the groceries first:_

"I really liked Octavia's character, even though she likes taxidermy."

"Yeah, the bit in the ring was really emotional and felt like something that could happen in real life."

"It felt very different from the Hazbin Hotel episode. I preferred this episode the most."

**"I like this episode, especially the songs. But I prefer Hazbin Hotel since I saw it first."**

_"Snif..."_

"Wait, are you crying Ruby?"

"What? No... I'm not crying."

"Oooooh you were sad for owl girl! But it ended on a good note, you don't have to cry."

"Shup up, I'm not _snif_ crying!"

**'They must never know I had tears in my eyes when I saw it for the first time.'**

"Don't worry, big sis Yang will give you plenty of hugs so you can forget."

"No I don't want hugs! Stop it!"

"Well, it is getting late, we should go back to our dorm. Could you send us back?"

**"No problem."**

"But I don't want to sleeeeeeep."

"We have classes tomorrow Ruby, come on."

"Urgh fine, I hate that you're right."

"Good girl."

"Well, see you tomo-"

**WOOOOOOOOO**

"-OOOOH MY OUM WHAT IS THAT!!!?"

**"I DON'T KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE A POR-... fuck."**

"A WHAT!?"

**OOOOOSH...**

"Uhm, Yang, did your mother just appear in the room?"

"..."

**"I think you should go, Yang and me can take care of this."**

"Are you sure? Yang?"

"Go Ruby, I won't take long."

"Okay."

"...Wait I have to go back too first, that's right. Hey, I'll be back real quick, just wait like ten seconds, thanks. Author?"

**"Got it... Soooo, Raven right?"**

"Who are you? And where are we?"

**"I'm just going to wait for Yang to come back."**

'I'm good, you can send me back.'

**"She's done... Alright, do you need me to stay or should I leave?"**

"Stay./Leave."

**"Well I can't do both. Guess I'll stay."**

"Hello... mom."

"Yang... you've grown."

"Well the last time you saw me I was what? Three?"

"Two actually."

"Great... what brings you here?"

"Well, I sensed your Aura occasionally disappear and reappear for a month now, and I didn't know why. But I finally found a faint trace of it somewhere, so I followed it."

"You used your Semblance to sense where I was?"

"Yes, I always know where you are. Did your father tell you about my Semblance?"

"No, Author told me. Well he showed me actually."

"He showed you?"

**"It's a long story."**

"I have time. Also, your name is Author?"

**"No it's actually-"**

"So now you have time? What, you didn't have time for me for fifteen years then? What was holding you from seeing me? Taking care or me?"

"I had to leave. The tribe needed a leader, and I was the only one able to lead it so that we wouldn't disappear."

"So the tribe's more important than me to you. That's it?"

"Yang, you're strong, when you were born, and I was holding you in my arms, I saw how strong you were gonna be. You didn't need me to survive. And look at you now-"

"You don't know that! You don't know anything! You weren't there!"

**'I knew the red eyes looked better.'**

**"Okay, calm down Yang, we can all talk like mature people, no need to shout. Please."**

"...You're lucky he's here to stop me."

"Am I know?"

**"Okay, you keep your hand of your weapon now, nobody wants to fight, what did I say about talking like mature people?"**

"You're a coward aren't you?"

**"I'm a coward all-right. But I prefer the term, dodging-problems-because-I-hate-them."**

"...Is he your friend?"

"I hate to say it but yes."

**"Hey! What does that mean!?"**

"So, who are you then? And where are we?"

**"...Can we tell her?"**

"No, we can't trust her yet."

"I am still here you know?"

"And I don't care."

"Yang, I understand that you're angry, but you don't know the truth. You don't know who the big enemy is."

"Are you talking about your ex?"

"...You! How do you know about her!?"

"Well I went to her and we talked. By the way, the war between her and Ozpin is finished."

"YOU TALKED WITH HER!?"

**"Yeah she did, I was here too. Well, I mean I was literally here, in this room, when it happened but I was also there-"**

"Shut up! I'm talking with my daughter!"

"So I'm your daughter now?"

"Yang, drop it."

"...Yeah, I talked with her."

"How did you know how to find her?"

"Author had a plan."

"How did you know?"

**"...Are you talking to me? I thought you were talking to your daughter."**

"I will not repeat myself."

**"I just knew. A man's gotta keep his secrets you know?"**

"You better spill them before I-"

"You won't do anything."

"...You're protecting him."

"Yes, I am. Just like I'd protect all my other friends and family."

"So you'd protect me if something were to happen?"

"I don't know, you don't seem to need my help since I apparently didn't need yours."

**"Damn, she threw you back your own words. That must hurt."**

"At least a finger please. The pinkie one."

"No, nobody is getting hurt here."

**"Not physically at least."**

"..."

"..."

**"What, too soon?"**

"Is the war really over?"

"Yes, it is. Salem won't attack and Ozpin won't need to manipulate people to do his biding. Only the Grimm will keep on fighting, but only the weaker ones."

"Well, this is quite the shocking discovery."

"What will you do then? Go back to your tribe?"

"I guess. Salem wasn't our only enemy. Our people still need to be led."

"They're not my people."

**"Why can't you come back? Stay close to Beacon? Try to actually be a mother for your own daughter?"**

"It's complicated. There are a lot of variables to take into account here. We are criminals after all."

**"Please, the cops never did anything useful. And if worse comes to shove you could just use your Semblance to escape."**

"What do you think you're doing. Are you actually telling me what to do?"

**"And what if I am? I may make some bad decisions here an there, but I actually care about the people I like. It feels like you're not even trying to."**

"I would watch it if I were you boy, you wouldn't want to get hurt would you?"

**"If I'm able to make a point, then it's the least of my worries."**

"...You have guts, I can admit."

**'OH THANK GOD MY BLUFF WORKED!!!!'**

"I will go back to the tribe, this is a certainty. However, if you agree, I guess I could visit you once in a while. But don't expect for us to be closer than what's needed."

"What's the point then? If you're only here because you feel like you owe me something then you can just leave."

**"Yang, I know that I'm asking for a huge favor... But give her a chance."**

"But why!? She doesn't need it!? I won't force her to do something that she clearly doesn't want to!"

"..."

"She can go bleep! herself for all I care..."

**"...Alright. I accept your decision... I hope you do too Raven."**

"I do..."

"..."

**"...Well this is really awkward. Do you want to go back Yang?"**

"Yes please."

**"Okay... You can follow her with your Semblance. Just wait a little before going back."**

"Do you think I made a mistake?"

**"Yes. Yang is strong and she'll survive with or without you. But this isn't what she cares about. She just wanted for her mom to be here for her when she was happy, sad, scared. But you left."**

"...Can I fix this?"

**"Do you _want_ to fix this?"**

"..."

**"I am judging you Raven, I won't lie. I hate what you did to Yang, but I can't change the past. You can't change the past. You can only drop your ego and your pride and actually be here, now, for your daughter."**

"...Can you ask her to come back?"

**"I can, I don't want to, but I'll try."... Hey Yang, Raven says that she wants to talk with you.**

"I don't care."

**Sorry, but you don't have a choice..."Hey Yang."**

"What the bleep! Author!? I said I don't care!? Send me back!"

**"She wants to talk with you, I'll send you back when she's finished. I'll be next-door if you need me byyyye!"**

"AUTHOR I SWEAR TO OUM!!!"

"Yang!"

"...What!?"

"...I'm... I'm sorry for not having been here when you needed me. I'm sorry for only seeing you for your strength and not for you. I'm sorry for being an idiot. I'm sorry about the tribe, your father, Qrow, I'm sorry for all of it. But please, please give me a chance. Even if you hate me, even if you don't think of me as your mother anymore, please let me see you! Even if it's only once in a while! I know I don't deserve of being called a mother, maybe not even a Human, but please give me a chance to make things right!"

"..."

"...I'm an idiot, I'm sorry, I'll just, I'll just leave, sorry for coming back in your li-"

"SHUT UP!!!"

"Yang!?... I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry!"

"It's okay, I, I forgive you. But you have a lot to make up for."

**"Hey I'm just picking my phone don't mind m-oooh you two are hugging, that's so cute."**

"Mom."

"Yes?"

"You can start by punching him until he starts bleeding. He's got Aura so you don't have to hold back."

"With pleasure."

**"No wait there's something really important that I need to tell you both!"**

"What?/What?"

**"See ya tomorrow Yang!"**

"Nooooooo, bleep! it! He got away!"

**Bleep! you Yang! You can't hurt me now can you!?**

"You do know that the next time you bring me here, I'll probably kill you right?"

**It's a gamble that I'm willing to take, goodnight Yang.**

"'Night Author."

"...WHAT THE BLEEP! JUST HAPPENED!?"

"HEY QUIET HERE SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!"


	12. 'Are the fries included?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there so I posted this chapter and then I noticed that it didn't have a name or a note, or here's a note saying that now there's a note. You don't have to thank me.  
> Also, I'm planning on translating my fic on Mercury in French one day. I don't know when, but I'll try to post the first chapter before the end of next week. It'll be a challenge since some jokes can't be translated, but I'll try. I also know that most readers aren't French and that almost nobody will read it, and to that I say, fuck it, let's do it anyway.

"Blake? Do I really need to come? Couldn't you just call him through his Scroll or I don't know, anything else?"

"No Yang, Adam doesn't answer my calls since I left the White Fang. So I need you to come with me, bring him to Author, and then you can go back. That's all you need to do."

"But what if he doesn't want to come?"

"We'll persuade him... I'll persuade him. He'll listen to me."

"But didn't you say that he didn't answer your calls?"

"That's... it's not... just get in the bleep!ing Bullhead Yang!"

"Alright, alright, keep your claws to yourself kitten."

"You do know that we're going to a White Fang camp? With Faunus? Who won't like hearing a Human making fun of one of them."

"I don't care about their opinions, as long as you know that I'm not being serious I don't care about them."

"Please Yang, make an effort, this is serious."

"I thought this was Adam."

**Hey I'm back, had to buy bread.**

'Why can't you come with us again?'

**Maybe it's because we already tried and it wouldn't work?**

'So, what will you say to Adam?'

**I don't really know. I'll find out along the way.**

'I get that Faunus suffered and are still suffering from injustices, but he must know that not all Human are responsible for it.'

**He's just... wait I know what I want to say but I don't know how to say it. I want to say that he's blind to the truth but I don't know what the expression is.**

'Mmmh, I don't know, never heard of it.'

**Bleep! it. Well I know what I mean.**

'Don't think I forgot about what you did with my mom.'

**Please, rephrase your sentence.**

'Shut up. You know what I mean. The point is, the minute you let us through, I'm punching your arm.'

**...That's it?**

'No, for now. But Adam needs to understand you, so I'll leave you for now.'

**Okay, I guess I deserve the punch in the arm. But look at you! You and your mom are... well not really bonding, but you acknowledge each other now. And thanks to who did this happen?**

'That's not an excuse and you know it.'

"Hey, are you and Author talking to each other right now?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It was quiet."

"Bleep! you too."

"I wanted to try something, give me a second... Hello? Author?"

**"Did you just call my phone while you're in your world?"**

"Yep."

**"How did you know it was gonna work!? Also is that my bleep!ing phone!?"**

"I already tried it with Weiss when she was in your world's bookstore. I tried calling her and it worked. And I know you don't use the one with this logo. You always complain about how it's expensive but it sucks."

**"Uh, yeah, iPhone sucks, but you could have warned me before doing this. Also, since you're calling, I can't see what's happening now."**

"Do you want me to stop the call?"

**"Yes please, not that I don't enjoy hearing your voice through the phone, you have a really nice voice, which now that I think about is funny since it's also someone else's voice."**

"Yeah I'll hang up now, talk to you when we bring Adam."

**Too bad you can't keep me quiet right?**

'Meh, you're not so bad to listen to you know.'

**...That's reverse psychology, you won't get me to shut up like that.**

'Well bleep! At least I tried.'

**That's the first step toward success my dear.**

'I was going to stay during the talk with Adam in case he tries something, but since you seem to want to do it alone, I guess I can go to this Greek you keep talking about.'

**It's grec or kebab, not Greek, English people don't call it that. I don't know what they call it, but not Greek. And I'll buy you your grec if you act as my bodyguard.**

'Are the fries included?'

**Yeah they are.**

'Deal.'

"We're here. Yang, stay close to me."

"Hey, who are you!?"

"I'm Blake Belladonna, and I want to speak with Adam Taurus."

"Who's the Human!?"

"I'm Yang, and I'm here with her. I'm not here to fight the Faunus, but if you want to fight as the White Fang, be my guest."

"...Be quick, Adam is busy. But the blonde stays here."

"No, she comes with me, I need her with me. Adam needs to see her."

"Just go, but if I get into troubles with Adam because of you two-"

"You'll deal with us, we get it. Just let us see him."

"He's in-"

"I know where he is, thanks."

**...Well that was easy.**

'Why did you say that!? Don't you know that saying that will jinx us!?'

**Yang, you're bleep!ing superstitious. This isn't a movie or a show... well now that I think about it...**

'Keep your mouth shut until Adam is here.'

**Okay fine _you superstitious baby._**

"Adam!"

_"Who is it!?"_

"It's me, Blake! Come out! We need to talk!"

"...Blake!? You came back, and you brought a Human with you."

"Hey there, nice katana dude."

"Why is she here? Why are you here? I thought you left us on that train. Did you come and finish the job?"

"Wow, someone is angsty."

"We're both here to talk. Nothing more."

"Well start talking, however if you waste my time, my katana will be the one responding."

'He really tries hard to sound cool doesn't he?'

"We can't talk here, we need to talk somewhere else."

"And why not here?"

"Because he can't come here."

"What? Who can't come here?"

"Author."

"...Is that his real name or?"

"No it's a surname."

"What's his real name then?"

"..."

"..."

'Bleep!'

**Why don't you answer him?**

'Okay, you know how it's been almost three months since we first met each other?'

**You're not serious.**

'And you know how every time you tried telling your name something interrupted you?'

**Oh my god you're serious aren't you?**

'Well I might...not... know your real...name?'

**God! Bleep!ing bleep! it Yang!**

"We don't know his name, but you need to see him."

"I don't like where this is going. Where is he?"

"Grab my hand."

"No."

"You need to grab it if you want to see him."

"I'm not touching a Human's hand."

"Adam, she's the only transportation between you and him. Grab her hand."

"...Does it need to be her hand? Can't I hold her hair?"

"I will burn the world before you even touch them. Hold my shoulder if you don't want to grab my hand."

"Fine, he better be importAAAAAAANT WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!???"

"IT'S OKAY, YOU GET USED TO IT!!!"

"AUTHOR! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME A SIGNAL!"

**Did I? Oh no I'm so sorry..."Hey Ada-OW!"**

"That was for my mom, I'll be back, I'm grabbing some Pepsi in the fridge."

"Could you grab me some tuna if you find some? Thanks."

**"Hey, who sait you could raid my kitchen!?"**

"OKAY STOP! WHERE AM I!? WHO ARE YOU!? WHAT IS HAPPENING!?"

**"Hey Adam, I'm Author, nice to meet you."**

"Answers, now."

**"Could you put you sword away from my face, you're making me uneasy... Thanks. To answer your questions, we are in my world, I'm Author but I already said it, and I'm just here to talk with you. About the Faunus, Salem, Blake, and why you should stop using violence."**

"What do you mean you world?"

**"It's a long story, but to make it short, your world and my world exist at the same time and the blonde girl that took you here is the link between our two worlds."**

"...Are you taking me for an idiot?"

"He's not lying Adam, I saw it myself."

"But that's not possible, why her?"

**"I don't even know myself. It just happened one day."**

"...Fine, it's nonsense and I don't believe it, but continue."

_"BLAKE! THERE'S NO TUNA! DO YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE!?"_

"NO IT'S OKAY! THANKS!"

**"So, let's start with Salem."**

"Who's she?"

**"...You don't know Salem?"**

"No, should I?"

**"...No, not really, I just thought that you did."**

"And I'm telling you that I don't."

**"Yeah yeah I believe you, I just thought you did. It's actually easier if you don't who she is... wait no, it's worse."**

"Author!"

**"Sorry, anyway. Let's talk about the Faunus, as you can see I'm a Human myself, well there's a reason for it. The Faunus don't exist in this world."**

"You killed them!?"

**"What!? No! Not everything is about killing! They just don't exist. Just like you have Dust and we don't."**

"You don't have Dust?"

**"Okay, let's stop talking about your world and my world and how they differ. What I want to ask of you, is to change your belief."**

"Which is?"

**"That the White Fang is helping the Faunus."**

"WHAT!?/WHAT!?"

**"You both heard me. The White Fang isn't helping the Faunus, quite the contrary actually. The White Fang's goal is to get equality for Faunus, but you're using fear and violence to attain it. And trust me when I tell you this Adam, it will never succeed."**

"And how would you know that!?"

**"Because I saw it, the White Fang got stopped before it could achieve its goal, and do you know who took it down?"**

"Who?"

**"The Faunus did. Blake did. And she was right to do it. Because after she took it down, a new organization took its place, with Faunus and Humans as its members, working together to reach equality for the Faunus."**

'Wait, I heard you from here. I didn't see this happening in the show... that's a bluff isn't it?'

"But that's not possible, the White Fang still exists. It wasn't taken down."

**"No, you're right, not yet."**

"Does it happen in the future? You said you saw it, is it thanks to your Semblance?"

**"Heh, no, it would have been an awesome Semblance though. Nope, I just saw it. Maybe I'll tell you how one day."**

"...Why did Blake take it down then?"

**"Because the members of the White Fang didn't want equality anymore, no, they wanted to show the world that the Faunus were the superior race. And do you know who was the leader at the time?"**

"...Was it me?"

**"Yes, it was you. You became what you despised, someone who thought himself to be superior just because of some, genes."**

"Hey I'm back, you'll need to do some shopping soon, the fridge's almost empty."

**"Yang, this is serious now."**

"Oh, sorry, I'm just going to sit here, don't mind me."

**"Thank you. So, any questions?"**

"Yes, what happens of me?"

**"You die."**

"How?"

**"Fighting against what you always wished for, a Human and a Faunus working together."**

"Blake, is he still telling the truth?"

"I don't know Adam."

"I do, I saw it happens."

"You did?"

"Yeah, he showed me."

"Why would I fight against my dream?"

"Because the Faunus was Blake, and the Human was me."

"WHAT!?"

"I KILLED ADAM!?"

"No, we both killed him. You were angry at her for leaving you and the White Fang as well as taking it down, so you went after her. You also went after me since we were together at the time."

"...When you say together?"

"Not now Blake."

"What then, how do we get equality without using violence? It's the only way that ever worked."

**"I have a solution for that. We will need to talk with someone."**

"Who?"

**"Jacques Schnee."**

"And how do we get to talk to him?"

**"Well I know some girls here who are friends with his daughter."**

"You want to use her as a hostage?"

**"No Adam, no more violence okay? We can just talk."**

"He won't listen."

**"Not if he's in his mansion he won't."**

"What will you do?"

**"Well, you know how you got sent here right?"**

"Yes, thanks to that girl."

"That girl has a name you know?"

**"Forget about her-"**

"Hey!"

**"-she needs to touch you to bring you here right? Well we will simply bring Jacques the same way."**

"Wait, is this another one of your ideas?"

**"Yup."**

"I'm not doing it. Jacques's an bleep!hole."

**"Come on Yang, do it for the Faunus."**

"...Huh, I hate you. Fine, I'll help your stupid plan."

"Wait, why are you doing this?"

**"Why am I doing what?"**

"Why are you helping the Faunus? You're a Human."

**"Is there really a difference? I think you and I have more thing in common because we're men than you and Blake. And even if we didn't have anything in common, well I maybe wouldn't even talk to you because you'd be me but even worse, point is I'd still try to help you."**

"I wouldn't call you a man though."

**"Shut up Yang, you're a girl."**

"Nope. Actually, I need to tell you something Adam."

"What is it?"

"Give up on Blake. If she gives you another chance I won't interfere, but if she tells you no, it means no. Get it?"

"But that's stupid, Blake loves me, right Bla-"

"No, I don't. I did, once, but not anymore. You weren't who I thought you were. I'd love for us to stay friends, but we can't be together...Sorry Adam."

"...I understand. I'm angry, but with what we've talked about, I understand. I'm sorry for what I did and how I acted but, I never wanted you to make you suffer."

"It's okay, I forgive you. Friends?"

"Friends."

_"And then they bleep!ed."_

**"Did you really needed to ruin the moment?"**

_Omake_

**"Well, Adam and Blake left, I'm glad we could talk with nobody missing a limb, right Yang?"**

"You seem to forget that you still have to pay for what did you pulled with my mom."

**"But I still need to talk with Jacques."**

"...Bleep! you're right. But it will happen! Mark my words!"

**"Hey! Don't think I forgot about you not knowing my name."**

"It's not my fault! You were always interrupted!"

**"You could have told me!"**

"It would have been awkward!"

**"Three months Yang! Three fucking months!"**

"Hey guys, I'm back. What are you talking talking about?"

**"Oh you know just how you don't even know my name after what I've done for you all."**

"...I'm not apologizing."

**"Fuck you."**

"I had a question actually. Remember when you said that we were together, what did you mean?"

"Well, I don't really now myself since it didn't and won't happen... again?"

**"She doesn't know if you two were involved romantically or not."**

"Author!"

**"What? It's the truth, she needs to know."**

"But, where we together or not?"

"No./ **Yes."**

**"What? You two were obviously together. Rooster Teeth was all for Bumblebee."**

"We weren't! We were just really close, it was me! I am me! I know me!"

"I know who's Rooster Teeth, but why are you talking about your bike?"

**"Bumblebee is your ship's name with Yang."**

"We have a ship's name!?"

"We all have a ship's name. You, me, Weiss, even Ruby. By the way, she's only fifteen so it's really gross."

**"You know, I was also disgusted at first, but some works are actually really good and wholesome. I'm more of a WhiteRose than a RoseGarden though."**

"Wait, WhiteRose, is that Weiss and Ruby's ship's name?"

**"Yeah."**

"...Yang, I know that you love Ruby-"

_**"Enabler."** _

"But we have to set her up with Weiss."

"NO BLEEP!ING WAY AM I LETTING YOU DO THIS!"

"But Yang! They would be so cute together!"

**"I think she doesn't want Ruby to be with Weiss because she already loves her."**

"I don't love Weiss!"

**"I wasn't talking about Weiss."**

"Okay you know what? Bleep! it. Jacques Schnee can bleep!ing wait."

**"Yang, put the phone down... you don't want to do this."**

"You can't run away now. I learned from my mistakes."

**"...I still think that you and Blake are cute as fu-OOOOW! NOT MY BALLS GOD WHY!!!???"**


	13. "That'd be hot, but we need to leave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this my early Christmas present.

**"Ow! Can you be more rough you brute!? And why are they here!?"** _Weiss was patching up Author, yes Author, there's a trend and I intend on following it, with Mercury and Emerald behind her, observing the room they were in._

"Shut up! If you didn't piss off Yang this wouldn't have happened. And they were with me when you called me."

"So what's your name again? I didn't quite catch it with all this commotion."

"Just call me Author since everybody seems to call me that anyway."

"Well I'm Mer-"

**"Mercury Black and this is Emerald Sustrai, I know who you guys are. What I don't know is why you were with Weiss when I called her here."**

"Well Ozpin gave us a scholarship in Beacon and in exchange we aren't allowed to kill or steal, except of course if he's demanding it." _Said Emerald sitting on his bed as if she always lived here._

**"So you're students now?"**

"Yup/Yup."

**"Okay, that's cool. Say Weiss, can I talk to you real quick? Alone?"**

"We're not leaving, if you don't want us to hear you talk about us then you're the one that should move somewhere else... plus this bed is pretty comfy."

**"You know I was going to talk about how this is my room and you're kind of intruding but you're right and Yang already punched me enough for the day."**

"You two don't leave this room okay?"

"Hey is this a console? I never saw something like this before. Can I play?"

**"Yeah you can. Just, don't buy things on it."**

"...So what did you want to talk about?"

**"Are you insane!? You brought Mercury and Emerald to my house!? In my world!? What if they learn about your world!?"**

"Well maybe they'll know even faster if you keep screaming like that."

**"..."**

"Look, I was just chatting with them when Yang and Blake came out of nowhere with Yang telling me that you asked to see me. They both heard it and wanted to come so now, here they are."

**"Why did you agree with them?"**

"Maybe because they're not evil anymore."

**"I know that they don't work for Salem anymore-"**

"You didn't five minutes ago."

**"Don't patronize me. Point is, we can't trust them yet."**

"...Are you done?"

**"What, you already forgave them?"**

"They didn't do anything wrong."

**"It's not because you never saw them do anything that they didn't. Mercury has killed people and Emerald was a thief. They may have had their reasons but they still did it. If Yang and I weren't here, they would have kept doing bad things, real, real bad things."**

"They were desperate, I'm not saying that I agree with them on doing it, but I understand why they did it. And yes, you stopped them from doing some bad things, and now they are trying to live a normal life."

**"Just warn me next time you bring someone with you... plus real life Emerald is so hot. The hair color is strange, but hot, damn!"**

"You do know that she's still seventeen?"

**"And just like that, you ruined my day. Thank you Weiss."**

"You're welcome."

**"Back to why I called you here, we kinda need your help."**

"What is it?"

**"We need you, to get Yang, to touch your dad."**

"...Can you please rephrase that?"

**"We need your help getting Yang to bring your dad here."**

"Why do you need to see him?"

**"Because I talked with Adam Taurus, one of the White Fang's commandant, and he agreed to talk with the White Fang's leader if I got your father to talk with him."**

"Why my father?"

**"Because he's the biggest reason as to why the White Fang is still here."**

"What has he done?"

**"Well I don't really know myself though I have a vague idea of what he did but Blake and Adam can tell you more than me about this."**

"Okay, I trust them to have a valid reason."

**"Wait, you don't trust me?"**

"Who does?"

**"...I'm pretty sure Yang said it once but that may have been a false memory."**

"How is she by the way? It's been a while since I really talked with her."

**"She's doing great actually. I got her and her mom to talk to each other, they won't be the best mother and daughter but at least they'll talk, sometimes... and yeah she's learning more about my world. Last week we started watching RWBY Chibi together."**

"Chibi?"

**"It's you guys but in skit. And drawn like babies, kinda."**

"Huh, okay. And you said together?"

**"Weiss we already talked about this, I can't date her, she's seventeen and it'd be strange."**

"You're literally only a year older than us."

**"You know, when I was you age, I also thought that it was okay. But now as an adult with so much more experience that a seventeen year old-"**

"Okay, okay I get it. You're too old for her."

**"Exactly."**

"But what about Blake?"

**"What about Blake?"**

"She turned eighteen last week."

**"...She did?"**

"Yup."

**"I didn't wish her a happy birthday."**

"Well you didn't know."

**"Yes but I should have. I don't care about birthdays personally, but I know that for some people they're important."**

"Well you can wish her one next year."

**"I'll try to remember. When was it?"**

"The nineteenth."

**"Let me put in on my agenda real quick."**

"You put people's birthday on your agenda?"

**"I have a problem with dates. I keep forgetting them."**

"Anyway, back to Blake. She's an adult now. Are you going to try and go out with her?"

**"Nnnnnnope. I mean she's beautiful yeah, and I may or may not have seen her ass by accident, but it'd be weird to go out with one of you guys from the show."**

"Why is that?"

**"I don't know, it's just, strange. And I don't care about romance for now, studies are my priority right now."**

"As much as I'm happy to hear you say that about your studies, I also don't see why you can't do both."

**"Are you doing both?"**

"No, but that's because I don't want to."

**"Pot calling-"**

"The kettle black, yeah. But what about people from your world?"

**"What about them?"**

"I saw you using that app with the ghost to talk to girls that you know."

**"Well yeah, they're my friends."**

"But what if they were more than that."

**"My best friends?"**

"No I meant-"

**"I know what you meant, I'm just kidding. And to answer your question... I thought that it could work with some of them, but there was always something preventing it. Either they didn't like me like that, or I didn't like them like that. There's always something. So I gave up... and no I'll never use a dating app. That's not happening ever."**

"Come on, there must be a girl that you like and who may like you back."

**"Weiss, drop it. I'm not getting a girlfriend right now. It doesn't bother me. I'm touched that you're trying to help me, but I swear that it's okay."**

"...Okay, fine. I give up... under one condition."

**"Which is?"**

"We go on a date."

**"...I'm gonna check if Mercury didn't buy anything on my PS4-"**

"Wait! I didn't mean a romantic date, only a friendly one."

**"So I'm already in the friendzone?"**

"You're the one who said you wouldn't date someone from our world!"

**"I know I'm just fucking with you... wait, that didn't sound good, I mean it did but-"**

"Can't you be serious for a minute?"

**"Okay fine, you want for us to go on a friendly date. Why?"**

"Because we never went on a date-"

**"I did."**

"But you said-"

**"I know what I said. I never dated, but I did go on a date. We watched a movie and everything."**

"Yeah well I never did, so will you go on a friendly date with me?"

**"This is literally how a fourth of every fanfiction starts... Okay I'll go on your date."**

"Good, where are we going?"

**"Take a guess."**

"Mmh this restaurant called McDonalds?"

**"Yeah how did you find out so quickly?"**

"Well the place seemed to be luxurious and-"

**"It's a fast-food."**

"...You were planning on taking me to a fast-food?"

**"I didn't know where you wanted to go so I told you to guess. All I had to do was agree with your first answer if it was affordable. And since you don't know my world that well, you said the first thing about food that came on your mind. In our case, a fast-food."**

"But what if I said a restaurant?"

**"There are no restaurants in my city. We keep joking about how it's a shitty place."**

"I did find your room to be pretty cramped."

**"No shit, it's not like we're talking in the bathroom right now with you sitting on the washing machine."**

"...Are we still going to McDonalds?"

**"Yes... fuck I'll still have to pay since you don't have our world's currency."**

"That'd be the first time someone pays something for me."

**"You mean I'm your first time? Ow! Why my arm you know that it hurts already!?"**

"You deserved it. Anyway, we should see how Emerald and Mercury are doing."

**"Better than my arm I'm sure."**

"...Hey guys sorry we took so long, Author was being-WHAT THE BLEEP! ARE YOU TWO DOING!?"

**"What are they-ARE YOU TWO FUCKING ON MY BED!?"**

"You don't have to shout it!"

"Yeah, could you two leave? We're kind of in a middle of something... wait on second thought, you can stay Weiss."

"I'm not staying here any longer! You two are bleep!ing animals!"

**"You were the one who brought them here!"**

"How should I've known they were going to have sex here!?"

"Guys seriously can you leave?"

"Yeah, I'm not really comfortable showing my legs like that."

 **"SHUT** UP!"

**"This is all your fault Weiss, I hope you know it."**

"I'm sorry okay! Next time I won't bring someone with me okay!?"

"...I don't feel like continuing."

"Really? 'Cause I'm really close and-"

**"Weiss, we're leaving, now. I'm getting Yang here."**

"But you can't go to our world."

**"I don't care, AND YOU TWO BETTER WASH MY FUCKING SHEETS WHEN YOU'RE DONE!"**

_"Will do!"_

"...Hey guys, can you at least warn me before you bring me here? What if I was taking my bath?"

**"That'd be hot, but we need to leave."**

"Where?"

**"To Remnant."**

"But you can't-"

**"Let's just try okay? I really don't want to stay here another second."**

"Okayyy well hold onto me."

**...It worked. And oh god that was horrible I want to puke.**

"Wait it worked? Oh my Oum you're here! How!?"

**I don't know it never worked before... I have an idea, I'll take us back.**

"I'm staying here, you two can try and solve this, I've had enough action for one day. We'll talk about the date later Author, bye Yang."

"Bye... are you two going on a date?"

**A friendly date, I'll tell you everything later. For now, let's try and see if I can come and go back when I want.**

_After twenty or so tries:_

**"Okay so it works now for a reason, but why? Did we do something that we never did before?"**

"Mmh, was it because of Raven's portal?"

**"Nah I don't think so. She could still use her portal to go back to Remnant."**

"What about Em and Merc?"

**"...We need to see them, I have a theory."**

_"...Thank you Yang, if you hadn't pointed them out I would never have guessed it was thanks to them!"_

**"Hey, we don't know if it's because of them yet."**

"You owe me if it is though."

**"Okay fine... Are you two done!?"**

"We were done an hour ago!"

**"You two are disgusting and you owe me for doing this on my bed, but first I need to test something. Yang, can you hold them both?"**

"Yup, come here you two... why do you smell like sweat?"

**"I'm sending you"... Okay now stop holding them I'm bringing you back... "Okay now let's try with me"... It didn't work this time, that's what I thought.**

"A penny for your thought?"

**Just one last test, take only Mercury with you... "Okay now let's do me again."... Okay this time it worked. I'm sending you back... Now hold Mercury... Aaaand he's not here. Okay, bleep! that was complicated, but I finally got it.**

"So, what did you understand? Because I won't lie, I'm lost."

**For me to come here, I need someone to stay back. Doesn't matter who.**

"And what about other people from your world?"

**I don't know, maybe we'll test one day. But right now I'm tired. Let's get Mercury back.**

"Are you two done playing lab-rats with us?"

**"That was the least you could have done after that stunt you pulled in _my_ room"**

"Yeah well you took too long. We got bored."

**"That is sooooo not a reason, and I'm talking from experience here. Did you two at least use protection?"**

"We have Auras. We don't need protection."

**"Oh yeah I forgot about that. Anyway, you can go back, and this is the last time you ever do something like this in my home okay?"**

"Okay, okay, but we washed your sheets."

**"Get out."... Bleep! I'm tired.**

'Hey, can you get me here for a minute?'

**Do I really have to?**

'Come on, it won't take long.'

**Urgh, fine but only because I owe you for guessing that it was thanks to Emerald and Mercury that I could leave... "Sup?"**

"Fine and you?"

**"Fine, tired. What did you want to talk about?"**

"I heard that you and Weiss had a date, what's it all about?"

**"She thought that I never went on a date before and forced me to go on a friendly date with her."**

"You say that as if you already went on dates."

**"Why is it so hard for you to believe me? I already did, more than once, with at least two different people."**

"What happened on them?"

**"Hey, that's not the subject."**

"Okay you got me. So you two are going on this date?"

**"Yeah."**

"This sound like the beginning of how a fourth of all fanfiction start."

**"That's what I said!"**

"And where are you taking her?"

**"McDonal-wait, I can go to Remnant now. We can go somewhere that she likes. Huh, I guess there are some good news today."**

"Well tell me how it goes."

**"Nothing will happen Yang... hey did you know about Blake's birthday?"**

"Yeah I did, I wished her."

**"Damn it. Was I the only one who didn't know about it?"**

"I guess. Hey since I'm here, wanna watch some RWBY Chibi?"

**"Why not, you can keep watching if I fall asleep, I already watched them."**

"Nice, I'll grab the Pringles."

**"We ran out of Pringles yesterday."**

"Bleep!"


	14. "Author, get on the bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may think that two characters will date because of this chapter, muhahahaha...No.

"Can you repeat one last time what will happen?"

**"This really isn't that complicated but fine. You just need to stay here, in my room, while Yang takes me to Remnant. You can go out if you want but take the phone with you in case you get lost. Do you understand Ruby?"**

"Can I play on the PS4?"

**"Yes you can, just don't buy anything that uses real money."**

"What games do you have?"

**"I really don't have time to tell you this. How about you play this one?"**

"Borderlands?"

**"It's a first person shooter. There are tons of weapons in it. You'll like it."**

"Weapons!? This is the greatest day of my life!"

"The game's not to violent is it?"

**"Yang, you are the definition of violent. Now can we leave? I want to know how Beacon looks like. It's like Hogwarts but with less magic."**

"I'm not so sure about that, but let's go."

**"...You know! I really hate the spinning that you have to do every time!"**

"I don't know, I'm starting to like it. Welcome to Beacon, more precisely, our team's dorm."

**"This isn't my first time here Yang, I'm pretty sure it's my... I don't know, twentieth time?"**

"The tests don't count."

**"Then this is my second time. Well, I'll let you guide me and tell me where we are."**

"Who said I'd be your guide?"

**"Don't you want to?"**

"Not really, I kind of have plans with Blake. You already have your phone on you so if you're lost or something just call me."

**"I can't believe you're leaving me alone for my first real time in Beacon!... wait no I do, you literally did that with Ruby."**

"Well you're an adult so don't complain to much. See ya around!"

 **"Great, I'm lost in the middle of a world that's not mine."** _Suddenly the door opens._

"...Hey Author, what are you doing here?"

**"Hey Weiss, well I wanted to explore Beacon a little, but my guide just left though that door."**

"Yang was your guide?"

**"Not really but I hoped she'd be."**

"Well I can help then, I have nothing better to do."

**"Oh you're so nice, where do we start then?"**

"Let's start with the dorms, this is my team's dorm that you're in right now."

**"Wow I would never have guessed!"**

"Really? But we're the only team with bunk beds."

**"...Let's just continue the tour please."**

"Just here is team JNPR's dorm."

**"Are they here?"**

"I don't know, I wasn't with th-" _Author knocked anyway, Weiss glared at him when Pyrrha opened the door._

"Hello, may I help you?"

**"Hello Pyrrha, how are you?"**

"I'm, fine... do I know you?"

**"No, but it's good to see you. How's Jaune?"**

"...Weiss, can you tell me what's happening right now?"

"This is Author, he's nice but he's an idiot. We keep him because he helped against one of professor Ozpin's enemy."

**"I really like your hair."**

"Riiiight, well it was nice meeting you."

**"Are the rest of your teammates here?"**

"Yes, do you want to see them?"

**"I'd love to... Hey guys, how are you?"**

"Ren look! That guy is dressed strangely! Do you think he's from a different world!?"

"Nora, multiverses don't exist."

**'Nora may really travel between worlds, she already did in RWBY Chibi, I'll have to be wary around here.'**

"Hello, name's Jaune and you?"

**"You can call me Author, did Ruby tell you about your Semblance already?"**

"No, why? Does she know what it is?"

**"Yes, I told her. You can amplify people's Aura with your own. No need to thank me."**

"Wait I can!? How do you know that!?"

**"A friend told me... maybe. Anyway, hey Ren."**

"Hello, it's nice to meet you."

**'He has his voice! This feels so wroooong!'**

**"The pleasure's mine, I hope you'll realize how people feel about you, especially your best friend."**

"...I'm sorry what?"

**"Hey Nora! I like your hammer."**

"You better or else I'd have broken your legs!"

**"Youuuu're scaring me. We can continue Weiss."**

_"Seriously Weiss, who is he?"_

_"It's a long story Pyrrha, I'll tell you another time. But he's not bad, don't worry."_

**"I wonder if I can piss off Cardin, he deserves it."**

_"See? His heart's in the right place..._ All right, let's continue with team CRDL."

**"Oh I can't wait."**

**"What do you mean they're not here!? Noooo my nefarious plaaaans!"**

"You're a child, I hope you know that."

**" _Snif..._ I'm actually an adult."**

"I can't believe I asked you to a date."

**"About that, since I can come here when I want now, don't you want to go somewhere you'll know you'll like?"**

"Mmh nice try, but I know you just don't want to pay. And no, we're still going to McDonald."

**"At least I tried. I have no shame admitting it."**

"Maybe next time... wait there won't be a next time. Seems like you're in no luck."

**"...Ice queen."**

"Anyway, next is-"

_Brrrrr!_

**"That's not mine."**

"That's not my phone either, oh it's my Scroll but who's-Winter!"

_**"...What no I don't have a crush on my sister you guys are crazy."** _

"Shut up!... Hello Winter?"

_"Hello Weiss. How are you doing?"_

"I'm doing great! Is there a reason for your call?"

_"Yes, general Ironwood told us to take a week off. I asked Ozpin if I could stay here to see you and he agreed. I should arrive tomorrow."_

"Really!? That's awesome news! I can't wait to see you!"

**"Someone's excited."**

_"Who was that? Is there someone with you?"_

"Yes, he's just an idiot don't mind him."

**"Hello Winter, how's Qrow?"**

_"I! You! Shut up!"_

**"See you tomorrow big sis!"**

"Hey shut up! She's not your sister she's mine!"

**"Learn to share Weiss, you're acting like a chi-OW!"**

"Sorry about that, I'll see you tomorrow Winter, bye!... What was that!?"

**"Hey come on I was just joking, I don't want for her to be my sister."**

"You better not."

**"However you could be my sister-in-law soon."**

"What do you... Ew no way! She'd never go out with you in the first place."

**"You don't know that. You're lucky she's not my type... well she is but the whole white hair's strange."**

"What's so strange about white hair?"

**"Well normally only old people or some special cases have white hair."**

"It's grey hair not white hair."

**"...Just continue with the tour please. You're making me tired."**

"Bleep!hole."

"My, miss Schnee I did not know you could curse like this."

"Professor Ozpin! I'm sorry I didn't want to let it out!"

**"Hey Ozpin."**

"Hello Author, you found a way to come here I see."

**"Yeah, I'm visiting Beacon. Nice school you've got here."**

"Thank you, do you want to study here?"

**"Ah! No. No thanks. I don't want to become a huntsman."**

"That is a shame, I am sure you would have been like a fish in water here."

**"I don't really want to fight Grimm you know? Plus there won't be a lot of them now."**

"All because you had the idea of talking with Salem. It was a gamble and you took it... What you lack in brawn you compensate in brain."

**"I'm really not that smart, sure I make good jokes, but nothing to be amazed that."**

"I won't insist, it is your decision after all. Just know that you are allowed to visit anytime you want, it is the least I can do."

**"Thanks, now Weiss, if you please."**

"Have a nice day professor!"

"You too Miss Schnee."

**"...Pfft, study in Beacon? He's crazy."**

"Hey! I study here!"

**"But you're you, and I'm me. You trained since you were young, I didn't. And even if I did or started now, I wouldn't be a great huntsman. Plus I don't want to be one."**

"...You were right you know?"

**"About what?"**

"You really aren't that smart."

**"And I take great pride in it."**

"...Idiot."

**"Stop it you're gonna make me blush."**

"Anyway this is team CFVY's dorm."

**"Oh I have an idea wait."**

'I wonder what Coco looks like, I'm pretty sure she's blonde... wait I can sense the Schnee approaching and... who is this? Their Aura is really strange. I'll just listen to what he thinks.'

**_'Hello Fox. How are you?'_ **

'How did you know I was going to listen to your thought!?'

**'Because I listened to your's first.'**

'So you can use telepathy too?'

**'Not exactly, I can only listen to people's thought. I can't share mine. Can we try something?'**

'What is it?'

**'Talk mentally with Weiss and I will listen to see if I can hear you or even talk too.'**

'Okay I'll try.'

'It's been twenty second and all he's done is stare at his phone... I think he has a concussion.'

'Hello Weiss.'

'Who's... is that you Fox?'

'Yes, how are you?'

'I'm fine but why are you in my head suddenly?'

**'Can you hear me?'**

'Author!? Why are _you_ in my head!?"

**'Yeah it works, that is so cool.'**

'Glad I could help, but who are you? I've never seen you in Beacon.'

**'You never saw anyone nowhere.'**

'...Touché.'

'Can you two stop talking in my head? I can't hear my own thought.'

**'Okay... But before we do that, Baaaaaby shark tutututututu baby shark tutututututu-'**

'OH MY OUM MAKE IT STOP!!!!'

'I'm never going to your head anymore, you're a monster.'

**"...Well that was fun."**

"I hate you, I really hate you."

**"Oh come on, you didn't even hear the whole song and it's only your first time hearing it."**

"You mean you didn't invent it!?"

**"Of course not, it's a song from my world."**

"...And here I thought Grimm were the worst things that ever existed."

**"Hey I actually enjoy this song, it's not so bad... there's worse."**

"I don't want to know. Anyway, where do you want to go next?"

**"Well I'm hungry so how about the library?"**

"The library? You?"

**"I never said that I was going to read these books, I just want to see how they differ from my world."**

"They're books, they may have different themes but they're just books."

**"I still want to read the Thief and the Butcher. And Violet's Garden."**

"You only want to read them because Emerald mentioned them in RWBY."

**"And so? Can't a man enjoy literature?"**

"A man who knows how to read maybe."

**"...I'm starting to think that you don't like me."**

"And what gave you that idea?"

**"After acting so nice with you this is how you see me!? You're gonna make me cry!"**

"Shut up. You're not even crying."

**"You know, if we're really going to see your dad next, it might be better if we acted nicely toward each other."**

"You say that as if I've ever been mean to you."

**"...Really Weiss? You can't think of any time you've been rude to me?"**

"You deserved it for each and everyone of these times."

**"We won't go to McDonald's then."**

"You can't use this as an excuse now shut up and choose a book."

**"...I'll start with this one."**

**"..."**

"...It feels nice."

**"What does?"**

"Just reading in silence. Without going at each other's throat."

**"I like reading peacefully. I'm not as much as a bookworm as Blake but I like reading when I have time."**

"Well your company is better like this... How's the book?"

**"Pretty boring to be honest, maybe people will like it, but I don't."**

"You read half of it already."

**"...I didn't want to annoy you."**

"...Well thank you. That's considerate... Are you okay?"

**"Just a little tired. That's why I don't make jokes much."**

"Do you get serious when you're tired?"

**"Hehe, bleep! no. I get grumpy actually, but that's only after a sleepless night. Right now I'm still a little awake so I know not to be rude."**

"Maybe I should only see you when it's late then."

**"People are going to think bad things about you."**

"...Apparently you also have no filter when you're tired. That's good to know."

**"I blame my brain."**

"Come on, it's getting late, we should go."

**"But I didn't finish my book."**

"You'll have plenty of time to read it. Come on, I'll call Yang."

**"Alright, you have a point."**

"I always do... hello Yang?"

_"Sup Weissy? Why'd you call?"_

"I'm with Author and we need you so that he can go back to his world."

_"Sorry but that's not possible right now. Blake is kind of chasing after a mouse and I'm kind of chasing Blake."_

"Why don't you ask Ruby for help?"

_"She's in Author's world. I can't reach her and swap her with Author right now."_

"Okay, well I'm letting him stay in our dorms until then. See you later."

_"Late- Blake no! Don't eat it!"_

"..."

**"...You know I'm not a child?"**

"I don't know, you're kinda cute like that."

**"That's just because I shaved my mustache and beard."**

"...Let's get you to bed."

**"Aye aye captain!"**

"...Alright, you can sleep in Yang's bed, she won't mind."

**"Okay... uhm, there's kind of a problem."**

"What is it?"

**"There's a lot of hair on her bed."**

"Well sleep on Blake's bed."

**"...There's fur on it."**

"Ruby's be-"

**"Cookies' crumbs."**

"...You are not sleeping on my bed, I sleep here."

**"So you're okay with me sleeping in their beds but not yours? That's inconsiderate of you."**

"Hey don't judge me!"

**"Well I'm sleeping on the floor, goodnight."**

"Don't just sleep on the floor it's filthy."

**"Shhh, I'm trying to sleep."**

"...Okay fine just go on my bed but don't touch me."

**"Don't want to, I'm getting comfy here."**

"Author, get on the bed."

**"Mmmh fine... I was fine with the floor you know?"**

"Shut up."

**"I kinda feel threatened by Ruby's bed right now."**

"Welcome to my world."

**"..."**

"...Hey?"

**"..."**

"Are you sleeping?"

**"No I'm Author."**

"...Do we really have to see my dad?"

**"Yeah."**

"..."

**"You don't want to."**

"No..."

**"Weiss, we have to. I know that right now, you have mixed emotions about him. He's your dad and yet you know that he's a bad person."**

"I don't know what to do about it. I find him despicable but he's still my dad."

**"He won't necessarily go to jail you know? If he's willing to listen then there's no problem."**

"...Why do you help people so much?"

**"Because I can, that's all."**

"...We don't have to go to McDonald's you know? I'm fine with eating something here."

**"Yes I knew that acting nice would work!"**

"Shut up."

**"I'm joking, and nope, we're still going to McDonald's. No take backs."**

"You really do have a heart."

**"And a stomach that tells me 'Go to McDonald's, you know you want it!' "**

"...I'd give you a kiss on the cheek if we were dating, but we're not."

**"Oh no, that's so sad. Don't you even feel a little attraction to little old me?"**

"Well if you had muscles maybe but-"

**"Yeah no I give up, I'm better alone."**

"...Lazy."

**"And proud of it."**

_SLAM!_

"Hey everyone! We're back!"

"Yang you don't have to be so-"

**"Hey girls."**

"This isn't what you're thinking!"

"So you're not in the same bed as Author then Weissy?"

"It's not my fault that your beds are filthy."

**"It's true, you guys have problems."**

"Anyway, we're back now, Blake found the rest of the mouse's family so that's why we were so late."

"I can't help it, I'm a cat Faunus... Stop smiling!"

"So, ready to go back?"

**"Yeah, it was fun Weiss, see you for your father next time."**

"Don't remind me. Bye."

**"...I fucking hate this transition. Hey Ruby, how was the game?"**

"Hey Author, it was good, but I already finished it since the levels don't go up after sixty-nine."

**"...But you can't finish Borderlands in just one d-OH MY GOD YOU REALLY DID IT!"**

"Well it was easy, once you find the enemies critical's spots it's child's game with a sniper."

**"...I'm never playing a shooting game with you. Ever."**


	15. "I wonder what happened to Penny."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie, I don't have more ideas. I think I'll stop writing for a while. I posted a lot of chapters already and I need to think about what to do next. Anyway, I hope you'll end 2020 on a good note, and we can only hope that 2021 doesn't suck as much.

"Hey?"

**"Yeah?"**

"You ever wondered what happened to Salem's pawns now that we dealt with her?"

**"Not really, I mean we would have heard of them if they did bad things so, I guess they just stopped."**

_Meanwhile,_

"Alright, I know we didn't agree on many things while I worked for you-"

"That's putting it lightly Arthur."

"But I really need this job. No one else wants to hire me and I really, need this money."

"You planned your own fake death Arthur, we all thought you died. And after finally hearing from you, the first thing we learn is that you worked for a Grimm-woman planning on destroying the world. I think it is reasonable not to hire you for this."

"Please James, I beg of you! I swear I will not do anything evil again!"

"First of all, only my friends call me James, for you, it's general. And I may have an idea."

_Later,_

"Do I really have to say it?"

"It's your choice, either you say it and I hire you back, or you don't and you live with the rats, and I'm not talking about the Faunus kind."

"Alright fine, I would just like to let everyone know that I bleep!."

"And?"

"And that I'm a girl."

"What else?"

"And I like ribbons in my hair. And I want to kiss all the boys."

"Welcome back Arthur."

"But what about Tyrian?"

**"...I forgot about him. But then again, I'm sure we would have heard if he did something."**

_Meanwhile,_

"So, you want to become a teacher here?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"May I know why?"

"Oh but it is quite simple. I want to see the students suffer of boredom while the light behind their eyes slowly disappear!"

"And?"

"I also happen to know quite a lot about Remnant's geography and I don't have another job available."

"...Very well, I hope you will enjoy your time here in Beacon then professor Callows."

_Meanwhile,_

"Hello Tukson."

"Hello Rainhart."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I don't need to leave Vale anymore so I can keep my bookshop open."

"About that, do you need any assistant?"

_Meanwhile,_

"Urgh, I hate this Port guy."

"I don't know, I find him pretty amusing."

"That's because you spend all classes with him sleeping instead of actually listening to him."

"I'm very good at acting, what can I say?"

_"What's our next class?"_

"Mathematics with Peach."

_"I hate mathematics, I have to suffer through Cardin talking and making jokes for two hours **every, time**."_

"I still think that Port's class is worse."

"Of course you do Em, Cardin is your BFF now after all."

"Don't make jokes about this Merc, you know that I hate this guy even worse than Port. This says a lot about him."

"Hey what happened to Torchwick Neo? I would have thought he'd came here in Beacon as a teacher but we haven't seen him for some time now."

_"It's a long story."_

_Meanwhile,_

"And so this little girl with a red cloak attacks my men and-"

"Look man, I don't care. Point is, you don't get to have an orange armor."

"But I deserve it more than you! All you do is stand around and talk all day while your friend does everything!"

"First of, Simmons isn't my friend, he's an acquaintance at best, second of, you'd do the same thing as soon as you'd get my armor."

"Okay maybe I'd let him do everything, but look, I'm ginger, it makes sense for me to get the orange armor."

"So are you saying that a black guy needs a black armor?"

"That's the skin color! I'm talking about hair colors!"

"HEY! YOU TWO! GET BACK TO WORK IMMEDIATELY! YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAID TO TALK!"

"We're not even getting paid Sarge!"

_"A really, long story."_

"I wonder what happened to Penny."

**"...I really forgot about her. I have no idea what she can be doing right now."**

_You know the drill,_

"Penny!? Penny!? Where are you!?"

"Hey Winter! Where you looking for me?"

"Yes, someone asked to see you."

"Really? Who is it? I don't get many visitors."

"It's one of my sister's teammate. The general allowed her to come thanks to Ozpin's demand."

"I wonder who she is."

"Hello, Penny?"

"You must be the person who asked to see me."

"Yes, my name's Ruby Rose. Do you want to be my friend?"

"...What?"

"You, don't want to?"

"YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND!? THIS IS AMAZING! YOU WILL BE MY FIRST FRIEND!"

'I may have made a mistake.'

"So, do you want to do something?"

**"No, not really. I'm fine with just staying here for now."**

"Too bad we already finished RWBY Chibi. Do you know any show that's good?"

**"A lot, but I really don't have the will to watch them. There's a list on my phone's note if you want."**

"Ooh let me check it... what's Euphoria?"

**"A show with drugs, sex, and teenagers."**

"I'll pass, and Community."

**"It's a comedy show. Really funny, six seasons, watched them all."**

"Is it now? Tell me a joke from one of the episodes."

**"Okay, 'hey, Troy sneezes like a girl' 'And how about I pound you like a boy- that didn't come out right.' "**

"Isn't that homophobic?"

**"They have a gay dean and later a lesbian secretary."**

"Mmh I don't know. I don't want to watch something actually. Hey, how about we see some of your friends?"

**"I thought you guys were my friends?"**

"You know what I meant."

**"And no, you won't see them."**

"Why?"

**"Because you should never mix two of your universes together. Literally in my case."**

"Oh come on, are they hotties? Is that why you don't want me to meet them?"

**"They're not my type if that's what your asking. And no, it's just that seeing me with a blonde girl with lilac eyes that can change colors isn't normal here. They'll start asking questions."**

"We're not a secret. You can tell them if they're your friends."

**"Look, I just don't want to okay? Plus some of them don't speak English all that well and I don't want to translate everything."**

"You're no fun... and it's Remnant."

**"Well forgive me for being cautious."**

"That's not being cautious, you're hiding our existence to your world. What if we wanted to be known by other fans of our show?"

**"And risk for the government to know about you guys and do tests on you?"**

"If we get known now and by a lot of people, they won't be able to do anything to us."

**"...Okay you may have a point, but the answer's still no."**

"Then how about calling them?"

**"Yang-"**

"Please? I'll give you a kiss on the cheek."

**"You know that I must answer no."**

"I won't destroy your PS4."

**"I'm already using my Semblance in case you really do try to do it."**

"But I want to talk with people from your world!"

**"You wouldn't understand them."**

"How about strangers?"

**"You can do it in Remnant."**

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

**"You can talk with the baby, but not the other two."**

"There's a baby?"

**"Yeah that's my brother. He's four."**

"What's his name?"

**"Author Jr."**

"I'm sorry alright!? I can't believe you're still on this."

**"I can't believe you didn't tell me about it sooner."**

"As if you'd tell me now."

**"No I won't. Figure it out for yourself."**

"I don't want to, it's funnier not knowing."

_Meanwhile,_

"Cinder?"

"Yes Salem?"

"Do you happen to have one of these Scrolls that everyone has these days?"

"Yes I do, do you want one?"

"Maybe, but I just need to call someone."

"Do you have their numbers?"

"Yes, do not worry...Hello?"

_"Hello? Who's that?"_

"Hey Raven, it's Salem."

_"Oh my Oum, what do you want?"_

"Don't sound disappointed, I just wanted to catch up with you. It has been a while. I saw your daughter not too long ago and I thought about you, about us."

_"There's no more us Salem, you know it."_

"Yes, of course. But I figured we could just talk one of these days, what do you say?"

_"...Urgh, I hate you. Fine, when do you want to meet-up?"_

"Wonderful, how about in two days? I will be in a coffee shop and you will just have to use your Semblance to join me."

_"But don't you look, like you?"_

"Well, I'm really pale yes, but the scars were just makeup."

_"...Why would you do that?"_

"It looked intimidating, and I had a lot of free time on my hands."

_"Well, as long as the look on people's faces doesn't bother you..."_

"It doesn't, they're all idiots. I guess I'll see you in two days then. See you soon Raven."

_"See you."_

"...Cinder?"

"Yes Salem?"

"Do I look pretty enough?"

"...You're smart."

**"Do you know what Blake and Weiss are doing?"**

"Blake went to Menagerie and Weiss is hanging out with Pyrrha."

**"Good, good good good. How's your dad doing?"**

"He's happy that everything is fine for Ruby and I. Why did you ask? Do you want his consent to bed his daughter?"

**"You're not eighty to say this. And no, I just remembered that he existed. And Qrow too."**

"I don't know about Qrow, he's probably drinking at a bar."

_Meanwhile,_

"Aren't you related to a blonde girl who breaks stuff really easily?"

"Yeah, how'd you know that?"

"She broke my bat once, and my bar. I lost a lot of money that day."

"Yeah, Yang can be quite troublesome sometimes. She gets it from her mom."

"Well, since you're here and you're related to her, you should be able to pay for the reparations don't you think?."

"Ah, I knew something like this would happen. Bleep!ing Semblance man."

"Well, I'm officially bored."

**"You already were before."**

"It wasn't official."

**"There's a lot of things to do. You just don't know what you want to do."**

"I want to explore the world but your world is, well it bleep!"

**"Maybe once I'll be able to study in England or in America we'll be able to get out more."**

"Why did you have to be France?"

**"It's French, and I'm as disappointed as you, maybe even more."**

"Hey what do you think would happen if Ozpin died in your world? Would he still reincarnate as Oscar?"

**"I have no idea. Why do you ask me? I wasn't the one who cursed him. By the way it's not much of a curse to live forever, I know I wouldn't complain."**

"And what if you woke up in a girl's body?"

**"Lesbianism exists."**

"You'd still need to get off."

**"...Shut up."**

"Would you use-"

**"Can we talk about something else please? Anything else?"**

"Make a proposition then."

**"Mmh, how about RWBY's soundtrack. It's really fucking good."**

"What's your favorite song in it?"

**"Probably I'm the one. The song about Mercury and Emerald. What's yours?"**

"Ignite-"

**"You narcissist."**

"Hey! The song is really good okay? You're just jealous you don't have your own song about you."

**"Maybe, but I don't simp for myself."**

"It's not really me that's singing so you're wrong."

**"But the song's about you."**

"But it's not the only one that I like."

**"But it's your favorite."**

"I answered the first that I thought of."

**"I don't know, you answered pretty fast so you must have known the answer beforehand."**

"I bleep!ing hate you."

**"No you don't."**

"Yes I do."

**"No you don't"**

"Yes I do."

**"Don't."**

"Do."

**"Don't."**

"Do."

**"Do."**

"Don-o."

**"Ah you almost said it."**

"I stopped myself before saying it."

**"That's still a victory in my book."**

"You probably don't know how to read."

**"Weiss already made the same joke yesterday."**

"Uh, great minds think alike."

**"It's more opposites attract in your case though."**

"It's my fist that'll be attracted to your face if you keep talking."

**"Do you wanna watch Jojo?"**

"Jojo?"

**"It's a really good fighting anime. You will cry though."**

"Is that a challenge?"

**"No, it's a fact."**

"Bring it on!"


	16. "Why would I have a ball gag?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay next chapter we're definitely going to see Jacques. It's just that I don't like him okay? I hate that he has to be here for "plot progression". THERE ISN'T EVEN A PLOT!

**"So, is Winter here yet?"**

_"Yes why do yo- OH NO AUTHOR I SWEAR TO THE FOUR CONTINENTS ON REMNANT THAT-"_

**"Bye Weiss. Hey Yang, wanna see Weiss' sister? She's in Beacon right now."**

"Sure, I wonder if she and Weiss look alike like in the show or not."

**"I mean Willow looks more like Winter than Weiss looks like Winter... I just thought of something."**

"What?"

**"I need to meet Willow."**

"...Whyyyy?"

**"She's hot. Like holy fuck she's hot. Have you seen Weiss in the show? Have you seen Weiss in real life? Now have you seen Willow in the show? Imagine Willow in real life."**

"The words are failing me to describe how much you should feel ashamed of yourself."

**"Are you saying you wouldn't bang her?"**

"I didn't say that."

**"That's what I thought. Anyway, do you have any idea who we could leave here?"**

"Well, we could ask Blake. She's probably reading in our dorm as always. It wouldn't bother her too much to read here I think."

**"Alright then I'm sending you first."**

"...Man, I really like the travel now, it's like a huge roller coaster. Except you don't have safety belts to protect you. Oh hey Blake, are you reading right now?"

"Hey Yang, yeah, Author got me this book to read since apparently I'd like it."

"What is it?"

"Fifty shades of grey."

"Never heard of it." 'Is it a good book?'

**I don't know, I never read it. I just know that's a book for pervert enjoying BDSM's stuff.**

"It's pretty good, there's a lot of... actions."

"Okayyyy... Say can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Can you stay at Author's place so he can come here? We're going to see someone."

"Sure, I don't have anything better to do."

**Okay I'm sending you back... Hey Blake, I see you're reading my book."**

"Yeah it's pretty cool. I mean it doesn't compare to Ninjas of Love but it's good enough."

**"Yeah I'm sure. Well I believe that you're smart enough not to do anything stupid while we're in Remnant so, have fun reading, I guess."**

"See ya Blake."

"Bye guys."

**"...And here we are. Do you know where Winter is?"**

"How should I know? You're the one that called Weiss."

**"Bleep! Well let's look around and see if she's... Why hello there Winter."**

"Do I know you?"

**"We've talked on the phone, I was with Weiss."**

"Oh it's you. What do you want?"

**"Nothing don't worry about it. Say, when are you leaving for Atlas?"**

"In about a week. Why?"

**'That's gonna take for ever'. "Nothing, I just wanted to visit sometimes and since you're Weiss' sister and I'm one of her friends..."**

"Ugh fine, you can come with me to Atlas."

**"Neat, can Yang come too?"**

"Do you also wanna go to Atlas?"

**"Not really but he and I have a deal so yeah."**

"Alright, I'll see what I can do."

**"Thanks Winter. By the way, you should let your hair down. Or put it into a ponytail."**

"Don't tell me what to do kid."

**"Please, I'm eighteen. I'm an adult."**

"The only adult here is Winter Author."

"Wait, your name is Author? Where are you from?"

**"France, it's a little city in Vacuo. That's where I got my accent."**

"I never heard of a France. Maybe I'll visit someday."

**"Sure, why not. The trip doesn't take too long. Anyway, I'm gonna leave you see Weiss now. Enjoy your time in Beacon."**

"I'll try. Author, Yang."

"...Why didn't you just lie?"

**"And miss an opportunity to laugh like this? Haha no way Jose."**

"I really fail to understand how we've become friends."

**"Because I'm charismatic?"**

"You mean pathetic?"

**"Same bleep! Well, since she's leaving in a week, we have a week to do anything we want."**

"Speak for yourself, I have school here."

**"Well, I can still look around Vale I guess. Maybe I can visit Tukson."**

"What's your deal with him anyway? We only saw him once in the show."

**"Well it's either him or the old shopkeeper that speaks with hhhhmmmm all the time."**

"...Okay you have a point. But how about Junior?"

**"What about him?"**

"His club is really nice even if you don't drink yourself."

**"I don't like clubs, there's too much noise, too much alcohol, too much... too much. Nah I'll think I'll pass."**

"You say that as if you've ever went to a club."

**"I did actually, I went with my friends. It was nice... for them at least. I stayed on a chair for five hours and all I had was a juice can."**

"Why didn't you dance?"

**"..."**

"Right, it's you we're talking about."

**"I mean as long as they were happy to be here I was. Plus the after show was good. Like reaaaaally good. I miss that."**

"Well why don't you bring them here so we-"

**"That's not happening Yang and you know it."**

"You're such a buzzkill."

**"I know right? Anyway, what do you wanna do?"**

"I dunno, how about we go and see what the others are doing and if we can join them we do?"

**"Alright, but we're not getting close to Nora."**

"Why not?"

**"Because I said so."**

"Are you still scared of her?"

**"Yes, I legit am."**

"Oh you big baby, she wouldn't hurt a fly."

**"Do I look like a fly?"**

"Well you're pretty annoying so..."

**"Let's just see what the others are doing."**

"Any preferences?"

**"Mmmh let's start with the new team in Beacon."**

"There's a new team in Beacon?"

**"I meant Emerald, Mercury and Neo."**

"Oh them, I didn't know they were a team now."

**"Yeah well me neither until recently."**

"Why do you wanna see them first?"

**"I want to see Neo."**

"..."

**"What? I like her okay? Leave me alone."**

"You know what they say, don't stick your bleep! in crazy."

**"Grow up Yang don't you?... There doesn't have to be penetration."**

"Kinky."

**"What's up evil dudes? Something something."**

"Is that a reference to... Oh yeah it was. Good one."

"Uhm, hello Yang and... What's your name again?"

**"It's Author Emerald, it's okay if you forget, I know how you dislike happy people."**

"Hey, I don't dislike happy people, I dislike people that are happy all the times."

"She's never happy, I tried cheering her up more than once but, I never even saw her smile."

**"By cheering her up did you mean having sex on a stranger's bed?"**

_"You two had sex? And on his bed too?"_

"Come on Neo, you're not fooling anyone. We know you would have joined us given the possibility."

_"Yeah I know that's why I can't believe you didn't call me."_

**"But you wouldn't be able to answer back."**

_"... :("_

"Where does this panel even come from?"

"I stopped asking her after the third time she wouldn't answer. Mercury's still trying though."

"Maybe she can bring things from a pocket dimension or something."

**"Or maybe that's just an illusion? You know, her Semblance?"**

"...What's a Semblance?"

**"Don't play dumb."**

"I mean he doesn't have a Semblance to be honest."

"How do you know that!?"

"I told you, I know things."

**"She's pretty knowledgeable."**

"You're not getting a hug for this."

**"Dang it, and it was my best shot yet."**

"How old even are you?"

**"I don't know, how old was Cinder when she found you in that alley?"**

"...You guys know too much."

_"Pfft Roman can do the same trick."_

**"Speaking about Roman, where is he?"**

"Private Torchwick! What the hell are you doing!?"

"I'm doing business with the blues, why are you shouting?"

"The blues!? Goddammit private! Don't you know the blues are our sworn enemies!?"

"You don't need to shout you know? I was just trading our headlight fluid for ammunition."

"Hello Mister Red! How are you doing!?"

"Shut up Caboose! Private, get back to red base immediately!"

"But Sarge we need these ammunition!"

"I'm the one giving orders here! And where the hell is private Grif!?"

"Oh hey Sarge, Grif is catching up with Sister in our base. Do you guys need ammunition again?"

"Yes that's what I've been trying to tell him but he wouldn't listen."

"We don't need your blue ammunition you dirty blue! What if you put explosive in them!?"

"What do you mean Sarge? I'm just Tucker, I literally helped you last week with your swollen foot."

"That was before I found out about your evil plan!"

"What evil plan!? We've only watched movies together ever since we've gotten here!"

"Oh I think I know what Red Mister is talking about. I may or may not have given oil instead of headlight fluid last time but if someone asks you about it, say that it's Tucker's fault."

"Dammit Caboose! What did I tell you about that?"

"I don't know... I wasn't listening."

"You blues have always tried to beat us after all, I KNEW IT!"

"Sir that's just a misunderstanding I'm sure. We all know here that Caboose's an idiot. I'm only going to do business with Tucker or Washington now."

"Shut up private! You should feel ashamed about yourself. You're lucky that Griff is even worse of a disappointment or else I would have let you do all the cleaning back at red base."

"No puedo creer que todavía estén escuchando a Sarge aquí."

"That's right Lopez, we should start fighting each other again! And the winners shall win the other base for their team!"

"Mierda."

"Hehe, you always know what to say Lopez. Maybe one day you'll be able to replace Grif here."

'I miss little Red.'

_"Something about colored soldiers and a key or something."_

**"Really, that sounds oddly familiar... Oh well, probably Atlas' soldiers."**

"So what are you guys doing when you don't have classes?"

"We stay in our dorm. We don't wanna talk with other people."

"Uhm sorry? You don't like it, I do. It's just that every time I plan on leaving the dorm you start undressing and-"

"Merc shut the-"

**"You two are disgusting, I'm jealous."**

"You do know I already proposed to have sex with you right?"

**"And I already told you, you're too young."**

"So next year should be good right?"

**"You have my phone number, we'll see."**

_"What's a phone?"_

**"A new Scroll."**

_"Never heard of it."_

**"They're still in development."**

'Why are you lying to them?'

**"Because it's fun."**

"What?"

**"Hm?"**

"Why did you say 'because it's fun' out of nowhere?"

**"I don't know what you're talking about Emerald. I think you should go to sleep. It's getting pretty late."**

"It's two in the afternoon."

**"Come on Yang we're going to let them sleep."**

"Bye guys!"

**"...Who's idea was it again?"**

"Yours."

**"No wonder it bleep!ed."**

"They were pretty cool. I mean sure I know they were bad guys but they're chill now."

**"You kept glancing at Neo's ass."**

"You did too."

**"I never said I didn't."**

"Me neither..."

**"...Dibs!"**

"Dibs! BLEEP!"

**"Haha I got you this time."**

"Dibs on Willow."

**"You can't have dibs on your friend's mom."**

"She'd do the same. I wouldn't mind."

**"That's because you're bleep!ed up."**

"Whatever, I called dibs."

**"You're full of bleep! Yang."**

"You're just jealous."

**"Of course I am! This is Willow we're talking about, the best MILF in all of Remnant."**

"People keep talking about MILF but as soon as there's a little patch of hair it's over for them."

**"...I never thought about it. I don't know if it bothers me. I guess my problem with it is that I'd probably laugh."**

"You'd laugh?"

**"Maybe, I mean isn't it tickling?"**

"Are you an idiot?"

**"Hey I don't know how it works! At least I'm trying to understand instead of going blindly at it."**

"That's just hair like the one on your arm or on your head."

**"Then what's the big deal with it?"**

"People find it gross while it's just natural."

**"...Can I ask you a-"**

"No."

**"...No as in you answer or that is your answer?"**

"Author."

**"Alright, sorry."**

"What about you?"

**"What about me?"**

"Do you-"

**"I'm not answering that."**

"Fair enough."

**"Who else can we hang with?"**

"How about Goodwitch?"

**"...Goodwitch?"**

"Yeah, she's the best teacher here in Beacon."

**"Maybe but, you want to hang with Glynda?"**

"Well I can still go without you."

**"Don't leave me please, last time I got lucky that Weiss was here. Where even is she?"**

"Probably in the teacher's lounge."

**"They have a lounge?"**

"Duh, they have the most tiring work in all of Remnant, training hormonal teenagers to become huntsmen and huntresses."

**"Was the hormonal part really that-"**

"It was the most important part actually."

**"...Let's just check if she's here."**

"...Miss Goodwitch!? Are you here!?"

"...Oh hello Blondie, you've brought a friend with you?"

"TYRIAN!?"

**"Is it normal that you're here?"**

"Ahhh, yes. I'm not here to fight you, I know, I'm also sad about it. I'm just the new geographic teacher. Glynda isn't here right now."

**"You're a geographic teacher here?" 'No wonder he'd chose the worst class too. Bleep!ing sadist.'**

"Why yes, I know a lot about Remnant thanks to all the travel that I had to take for my queen."

"Well good for you, do you know where she might be?"

"What do I get in exchange?"

"What is happening here?"

**"Hey Glynda."**

"Do I know you? Are you a student here?"

**"Well I did participate in class once but no... Are you free right now?"**

"Are you... Asking me on a date?"

**"...Yes."**

'AUTHOR!? HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT!?'

"Are you even an adult?"

"No he- **Is. Don't listen to her. I have my identity card to prove it."**

"Why not your Scroll?"

**"I don't have one."**

"Of course, anyway, I don't even date students."

**"I told you, I'm not a student here."**

"You're still too young."

**"Don't shatter my dreams like that Glynda."**

"You didn't even want to see her to begin with."

_**"Yang, shut up!"** _

"What do you two want anyway? Are they bothering you Tyrian?"

"Yes they are, they kept accusing me of being evil."

"He's lying! We only came here to know if you were doing anything right now to spend the time with you."

"...You want to spend your times, with me?"

"Well yeah, you're the best teacher here and you don't get enough credit about it. We wanted to make you feel good."

**"Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Also that wasn't my idea but I still like you so yeah I'm in."**

"Well, I don't have classes anymore, I guess we can take a walk around the school."

**'How cliché.'**

"What about a massage?"

**"Uhm Yang? You're still a minor."**

"Not a sexy one... If she doesn't want it to be one."

"I don't."

'Just one year Yang, you only have to wait one year and then Glynda will be you-... You're listening to my thought aren't you?'

**" _Yes_ , a normal massage is enough. I've been told I'm a good masseur though I guess that's because a massage is better than no massage."**

"When you say a normal massage?"

**"I can only do your legs if you don't want me to massage anywhere else."**

"And I can do the rest."

"No, you're doing the legs, he's doing the rest."

"WHAT!? BUT WHY!?"

**"Yang, you're drooling."**

"That's so unfair!... Wait, where did Tyrian go?"

"He left as soon as you talked about the massage."

**"Anyway, where do we go? I don't believe the teacher's lounge is the best place for a massage."**

"Let's just go to my apartment."

**"Miss Goodwitch!? This is only our first date!"**

"Shut your mouth."

**"Yes ma'am."**

"Oh yeah that's just the spot! Right here! Don't stop!"

'Oh I fucking love her legs I could lick them for dayyyyys.'

**'Don't think lewd thoughts, don't think lewd thoughts, don't think lewd thoughts...'** ****

"You know how to pleasure a woman, that's for sure."

**"Can we please talk about something else? Like literally anything else."**

"I thought you liked MILFs?"

**"I do but I don't want to end up blue balled."**

"Use your thumb please use your thumb!"

**"Alright I'm done, I'm leaving. I can't take it anymore."**

"Are you going to masturbate?"

**"Yang please shut up. For the love of Oum please shut up."**

"COME BACK YOU'RE NOT FINISHED WITH ME! I CAN STILL GO!"

"...Okay even I find it to be too much. Do you have a ball gag?"

**"Why would I have a ball gag?"**

"I wasn't talking to you."

"Second drawer in the bedroom!"

**"...Can I go home?"**

"You two are not leaving until I'm satisfied."

" _Gulp,_ Miss Goodwitch, you're scaring me."

"Call me Glynda, and apply more pressure, I need to feel more!"

**"Good luck Yang! See you neveEEEEEEEEER NO PLEASE GLYNDA DROP YOUR WEAPON THIS ISN'T A GAME ANYMORE!"**

"You two will go at it, all, night!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**


	17. "Can you untie me now please?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!!! Bleep! you Jacques! You never had the cheese I wanted. And yes, there are Rooster Teeth crossovers now because I do what I want.

"Okay campers, I know that this isn't the camp, but it was destroyed and we don't really have anywhere else to go so for the time being, we'll live here, in Beacon. But it's okay! Gwen and Quartermaster are here with me so we will be able to help you if something happens."

"Hey David?"

"Yes Space Kid?"

"Are there space classes here?"

"I'm sure there are."

"This is stupid."

"Come on Max, I thought you didn't like the camp."

"I don't but I hate school even more. And I'm literally ten, do you really think I'll be able to understand half the thing they are teaching here?"

"I'm sure-"

"That was a rhetorical question David of course I can. Now shew shew, I want to find a room and stay in it all day. I don't want to see everyone's stupid faces."

"Do you think we'll be able to fight against those monsters!?"

"Nikki, monsters don't exist."

"And how would you know?"

"Because science has already discovered everything that exists on earth."

"But not in space!"

"Shut up Space Kid!"

"Yeah fair enough."

"All right you little monsters! David and I will go and talk to this school's headmaster. In the meantime, try not to get killed. God knows we've lost a lost of children today."

"Yeah I'll miss Dorph."

"It's Dolph, Nikki."

"I'm going to see how these people can use what they call Semblances. It shouldn't be possible but if there were atoms charged negatively that were involved-"

"Yeah yeah whatever, you two go see what you want. I'm not going to class and I'm definitely not socializing. See you never bleep!holes... Wait, did you hear that?"

"Hear what Max?"

"There was a sound that sounded like a bleep."

"Ooooh you know what that means."

"Nikki for the last time no! No bleep!ing adven-... Bleep! Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!"

"Max, watch your language please, there are kids here."

"I am a kid David. Anyway, I'm leaving."

"...Well this went better than I expected."

"David, we're the only survivors, the camp fucking exploded and we found ourselves in a different world. I wouldn't call this a good bleep!ing time."

"Calm down Gwen, we don't know if the other campers died in the explosion, maybe they're fine and still in the camp."

_"I hope they're not, these meddling kids always bring problems. Good leaving."_

"Did you say something Quartermaster?"

_"Grmbl grmbl."_

**"I didn't know Glynda had it in her to-Wait, did you feel that?"**

"Yeah I did, it was as if, something came here in Beacon."

**"No, more than Beacon, it was directly in the fic. We have to check it."**

"Would you call this an adventure?"

**"A minor inconvenience at best."**

"Well, let's still see whaaaa-...why is there a child here?"

**"Well, that was fast. Hey kid, what are you doing here?"**

"Our camp exploded and we'll stay here until Neil figures something out."

**"Neil?"**

"Yeah the idiot that sent us here. The moron blew up the camp and now we're staying here."

"So you're counting on the one that sent you here to bring you all back?"

"He's a smart idiot. He chose science camp."

**"But he's what? Ten? Twelve at most."**

"I don't know, I never bleep!ing asked him. I bleep!ing this stupid sound!"

"Wait, you can hear that too?"

"Hear what?"

"Bleep!"

"...Well I'm glad I'm not the only one crazy here."

**"Yeah I can hear it too... well sometimes. Depends where I am."**

"Why is there a bleep when we're cursing. That's bleep!ing dumb!"

"You curse a lot for a child. Why are you so angry?"

"Maybe because the world is filled with bleep!ing moron called children and adults and animals. Everyone's an bleep!hole and that's life."

**"That, is a point of view I guess. What's your name?"**

"Max."

**"Max, Max, Max... nope, doesn't ring a bell."**

"You think he's from a different world?"

"I may be, last time I checked, people didn't have bleep!ing powers and weapons that are also guns."

**"Wait, can you talk again?"**

"What? What is it?"

**"I'm pretty sure I've already heard your voice somewhere."**

"Yeah I thought so too! You have a really deep voice for a child."

**"What's the name of your camp Max?"**

"Camp Campbell, why?"

**"Just let me check something real quick..."**

"Is that a phone? I thought everyone here had that thing called Scrawl or something."

"It's Scroll and yeah, it's a phone. Author doesn't come from this world too."

"Wait so is this like one of those movies where we must bring you back with us or something terrible will happen?"

**"Uuuhm no? I can come back whenever I want. I'm not stuck here."**

"Then you can bring me back right? You can leave David here, we don't need him at the camp. Oh and Space Kid, he's expendable."

**"Oh I found it, Camp Camp is a web-series created by... oh okay."**

"What, what did the phone say?"

"Yeah what do you mean web-series?"

**"Well, how do you feel about the multiverse theory?"**

"That's pretty stupid if you ask me but I've seen weirder bleep! happen."

**"...Are you sure you're a kid?"**

"Is he also from a different world?"

**"Yeah, still Rooster Teeth too. Oh that's why I recognized his voice. Look, it's Sun's V.A."**

"Why would they choose an adult to voice a... ten year old!?"

"What, never heard a kid with a deep voice?"

**"That's unusual Max. Oh there's even Ozpin's V.A. And you!"**

"Someone with the same voice as me!? Who are they?"

**"Nerris."**

"You and Nerris have the same voice? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"And stop laughing you little brat!"

**"There's also Ruby's V.A who voices Space Kid?"**

"Space Kid?"

"SPACE KID!? Oh my god I pity this Ruby."

"She's my sister."

"What a poor soul."

**"So Max, wanna hang with us?"**

"No not really, you two look like child molesters."

"..."

**"...Are you sure you're okay?"**

"Don't talk to me. You're wasting my time. I just wanna go back to the caaaand I can't believe I almost said that."

"Well good luck on finding a solution to your problem."

**"Yeah bye... that kid was an bleep!hole."**

"Hey, he's just a kid."

**"Yeah with the voice of an adult, written by an adult, and with the mindset of... well an adult bleep!hole."**

"Well, I wonder if Nerris is here. Maybe we'll talk in stereo."

**"God I hope not... Hey look that's Space Kid... with Jaune."**

"Can you stop following me everywhere?"

"Okay David."

"And stop calling me David! My name's Jaune. Jaune Arc."

"Sure thing David."

"Hey Jaune, is this kid bothering you?"

"Yeah, he won't leave me alone and he keeps calling me David."

**"Hey Space Kid, why are you calling him David?"**

"Because they have the same voice."

**"Yeah that makes sense. Okay that's not really David Space Kid. Also, what's your name? I don't want to keep saying Space Kid again and again."**

"I'm Neil Jr."

**"Okay Neil Jr, can you tell me where your David is?"**

"He said something about seeing the headquarter or something."

**"I think you meant headmaster."**

"Uhm no, I know that people often make the mistake between the two but I meant headquarter."

**"Okay, well we'll still go and check on Ozpin. Wanna come with us?"**

"Sure, I don't have anything better to do."

**"Cool, let's go. See ya around Jaune."**

"See you David."

"...Why did this kid have the same voice as Ruby? And why did he wear a box instead of actual clothes?"

**"You're awfully quiet Yang, what are you thinking about?"**

"He really has Ruby's voice. That's... disconcerting."

"Disco what?"

"Nothing SK"

**"Well that's strange but heh, your world has monsters so..."**

"Are they aliens from space?"

"Uuuhm, I guess?"

"I knew that life outside of earth existed."

**"...I mean he's not wrong."**

"Hey guys! What are you doing!?"

"Hey Ruby, we're seeing Ozpin to see if a certain David is with him."

"Hey you have the same voice as me!"

"Wait, you have the same voice as me!"

"No it's you!"

"It's you!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

_**"How long do you think they can go at it?"** _

_"Honestly, probably three hours as long as none of them wants to go to the bathroom."_

_**"We better stop them then, hey Ruby, wanna come with us?"** _

"Uh? Sure... So who's this David?"

"We don't know, we never saw him."

"I did, he's my camp instructor."

**"And how is he?"**

"He's David."

**"...Riiiight. Let's just go."**

"Thank you for letting us stay here until we find a solution to our problem Mr Ozpin."

"Please, just call me Ozpin David. And I'm a professor, of course I would help children in distress. As for you and Gwen, you two may act as professors for the duration of your stay here."

"Did you hear that Gwen!? We'll be professors! But wait, what about Quartermaster?"

"Quartermaster may act as the school janitor and cook if he desires so. However I will have to talk to him privately."

_"David, don't you find this a little shady?"_

"I don't see what you're talking about. Ozpin is just being nice to us. I'm sure he has no ulterior motives."

'It's been a while since I've seen Quartermaster, last time I've seen him Beacon lost three teams that day.'

_'I hope Ozpin doesn't know what happened with the kids that day.'_

**"Hey guys, are we interrupting anything?"**

"Oh hey, you brought Space Kid with you... Why?"

**"I don't know you, who are you?"**

"That's pretty disrespectful of you to come unannounced and ask us our names without telling yours first."

**"... I like you. People call me Author but you can call me Author. This is Yang, that's Ruby, and that kid is yours I think."**

"Please don't say it like that."

"Hey Gwen, can I go to the toilet now?"

"You don't have to ask me Space Kid, just go and do it in a bathroom stall."

"Where are they?"

"They are in the room furthest on your right."

"Thank you Mister Wizard."

'...How does he know that?'

**"So, you're David I guess?"**

_"Nah I'm Quartermaster. David's the annoying one."_

"Hello! I'm David it's a pleasure to be meeting you!"

**"Well at least you're smiling, a lot... and you have Jaune's voice."**

"I have who's voice?"

**"Don't worry about it. So who are you guys and why are you here?"**

"NIKKI NO!"

"NIKKI YES!"

"HEY, YOU TWO STOP CAUSING TROUBLE, WE'RE ALREADY BLEEP!ED AS IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Oh hey Gwen, what are you guys doing here?"

_**"I won't lie, I have no idea what the bleep! is happening here."** _

_"Me neither, but I'm enjoying it so far."_

_"Why are you two whispering?"_

_"You're also whispering."_

_"This is just my normal talking speech."_

**"Did you say something Quartermaster?"**

_"Grmbl grmbl."_

**"Okay everyone shut up! Let's each talk one after the other. You with the yellow T-shirt, tell us your name and what you know happened to your camp."**

"Okay, uhm, my name is Neil and I was just manipulating one of my machines when Nikki came out of nowhere with Space Kid in her mouth somehow and they touched something which made the machine explode."

"I was with Gwen since it was our 'Nikki Break' and we heard shouting so we followed the shouts and when we arrived we saw an explosion. Next thing we know the camp isn't here anymore and we lost the other campers."

_"..."_

**"Quartermaster?"**

_"I was... reading a book."_

**"...Riiiiight. What about you Spa-When did you come back?"**

"I never left, I thought going to the bathroom would take too long."

**"Did you, did you just piss yourself?"**

"What? No! I didn't want to pee!"

**"But why did you... you know what, don't answer."**

"It's okay, we astronauts have suits designed just for this."

_**"Gwen, is he retarded or that's a disability?"** _

_"That's just Space Kid being Space Kid."_

**'...What the fuck is wrong with these people?' "Okayyyy, Nikki, what did you touch?"**

"There was this red button with a skull on it! So naturally I pushed it since it meant that we could find skeletons in the ground but a countdown started instead."

"Nikki that was the auto destruction button! We almost died!"

"Why would you have an auto destruction button?"

"In case the machine goes nuts."

"Well it did."

"BECAUSE YOU PUSHED THE BUTTON!"

"Hey is that Max?"

"Oh great, it's you bleep!holes."

"Max! You're here! I knew you cared about us!"

"David, I'll be honest with you. If I had to kill someone in this room here today, I'd kill you with Quartermaster's hook. And then everyone else. And then me."

"So Max, did you find anything helpful?"

"Who do you think I am David?"

"That's great! What did you-"

"No that meant no. Of course I didn't find anything since I didn't search for anything. Usually problems come to us and so do the solutions."

_**"Can we adopt him?"** _

_"I'm not taking care of him."_

**_"What, you're gonna pull a Raven on him?"_ **

_"Hey, low blow."_

"Well maybe you're right Max. I guess waiting a little can't hurt. What do you think Gwen?"

"Well I might be able to put these degrees to use now."

"Gwen you have a degree on liberal arts and psychology, the most you'll be able to use them for will be to recognize paintings to use as tissues to cry yourself to sleep."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

**"That, was savage. I'm keeping him."**

"Point is, we'll be back before we could even settle so why fight against it? It never worked. I may hate the camp but I'm not an idiot."

"Max, I'm very disappointed in your attitude right now."

"Go suck a dick David."

"Uhm guys, what are we gonna do in the meantime? I mean yeah you guys can teach and all but aren't we a little too young to attend classes here?"

"Aren't you a science nerd Neil?"

"Yeah exactly, I'm a _science_ nerd, not a school nerd. Why do you think I was sent in this camp?"

"What if we were also teachers then!? I could teach students how to survive in the wild!"

"Uhm Nikki, I think the problem isn't the wild but more the Grimm that live in it."

"Well give me your scythe and I will be done with them before you can even pronounce my full name."

"What's your full name?"

"I don't know, that's why I'll have enough time."

**"Well, everything seems to be going well, we'll leave you all to do whatever it is you guys are doing."**

"Yeah see you guys, Ruby, you plannin' on coming?"

"Yeah, Space Kid is making me feel nervous."

"Oh is that a crush admission?"

"No I meant really nervous. It's strange to hear someone talk with the same voice as you."

"Apparently someone else has the same voice as me but they aren't here. I wonder what happened to them after that explosion."

"WHAT THE BLEEP! HAPPENED TO THE CAMP!?"

"Mizter Campbell, I can exzplain."

"..."

"I zought I vould know by saying zis but I don't, sorry."

"Seriously? I leave David in charge of this place for one day and somehow he manages to blow it up."

"Ve know you really care about the camp sir and-"

"I hope the safe hasn't been obliterated too."

"...Vell at least now I can paint a devastated land."

"I'm shure thij was Harrishon'j fault."

"Hey I didn't make the camp disappear... this time."

"Where are we going to sleep now? I'm not sleeping on the floor, that's... uncool."

"I feel like making a remark about how this is society's fault but even I'm better than that."

"THIS IS TERRIBLE! HOW WILL I PERFORM ON THE STAGE IF THERE IS NO AUDIENCE TO APPRECIATE MY TALENT!?"

"Alright kid! I've fount it!"

"Vat, ze solution to our problem?"

"What? No! I found my safe, it didn't blow up. Well, you kids have fun."

"...Do we roll dices to know who cooks?"

"Aj long aj jey're not your diches yesh."

**"I suggest we watch Camp Camp."**

"I don't know, seems kinda lame to be honest."

"Ruby, just because there are no weapons in sight doesn't mean that the show is lame."

**"I'm not a fan of cartoons but Rooster Teeth didn't disappoint me so far."**

"Well you two can watch it, but I pass."

"Okay but you'll be missing on the fun."

"Well having two new professors here will be a fresh breath for Beacon."

"We'll do our best sir. And the kids won't be a problem since there's less of them now. You hear that campers!? We'll be able to keep our eyes on each and every single one of-"

"Max left... again."

"Oh dang it."

"Why do you have a bow on your head?"

"Why are you here instead of being at an actual school?"

"I asked first."

"And I don't like you."

"Come on, I'm a ten year old that's curious, you can either tell me and I'll forget or I'll be bothering you until you hit me and the cops are on you. Which will it be?"

"Hello Blake, need any help?"

"What are you going to do? You look as if you would fall from a gust of wind. And what is up with your hair? Is it naturally white like that? Do you have a cancer?"

"Goodbye Blake!"

"So back to the matter at hand, why the bow?"

"If I tell you will you shut up?"

"Uhm no, I told you, I'm a ten year old who's curious."

"Have we ever talked before?"

"No why?"

"Your voice reminds me of someone."

"That's probably because it does. I'm from another world apparently and I share the same voice as another guy here."

"You're from another world? I didn't know your imagination ran so wildly."

"Believe me or not, I don't care. Anyway, you're no fun. I'm bored."

"Good."

"I'm leaving."

"Sure."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"You know you can just tell me why you have a bow and-"

"GET THE BLEEP! OUT OF HERE!"

"Wow someone is a little angry."

**"We heard some yelling, from Blake. I think it's the first time I've ever heard her shout at someone. I'm glad it wasn't me."**

"She wouldn't tell me why she's got a bow."

**"She's using it to raise peoples' gazes toward it so they don't look at her ass."**

"...Is this true?"

"Author, I hate you."

"Yang does the same thing with her boobs so we don't look at her lazy eye."

"Hey! I don't have a lazy eye!"

**"...Sorry you were saying!?"**

"Pervert."

**"Cover your chest then."**

"You should be the one adverting your eyes."

**"Nah, they're good here."**

"Well you're all disgusting. And you're the worst man."

**"Glad we can all acknowledge this."**

"Can I stay here? I don't want to stay with Space Kid any longer."

"You can say that you like spending time with us here you know? It wouldn't hurt."

"What don't you get when I say that I'm staying here only because of Space Kid? I don't care about you guys."

**"Well that's good since you said you hated everyone else."**

"Oh, I hate you, don't worry about it."

"So are you and Nikki together? Or is she with Neil?"

"Isn't it weird to put children together?"

"I'm a minor too."

_"Could have fooled me."_

"What does that mean!?"

"I'm not with Nikki and she's not with Neil and Neil... well it's Neil. Do you really see him with someone else?"

"He seems alright, for a nerd."

"He's a science nerd, he was born into a harsh world for his kind."

**"Is he Jewish?"**

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

**"Wait that was a joke, I didn't know... now I feel bad and disgusting... I'm gonna eat something to forget, someone wants something?"**

"Tuna!"

**"You know I don't have tuna Blake."**

"A bag of chips please, any flavor."

"Can I have something too?"

**"What's the magic word?"**

"Bleep! off."

**"Too bad. Yang?"**

"Yeah yeah let's go."

"What are you... Uhm Blake, do they do this often?"

"More than you know."

**"Hey Jaune, hey Pyrrha, having fun?"**

"Hey Author, hey Yang, yeah we're fine. Pyrrha beat me in every game we played so far but I'm still having a great time."

"The games are really intuitive."

**"Do you guys wanna stay or do you want to go back?"**

"What do you want Pyrrha?"

"I'd like to go back, it was fun but I'd like to call it a day."

**"It's okay, I guess I'll stay here for a while. You can take the chips if you want Yang. And take some Granola for Max."**

"Going soft on him already?"

**"What can I say? The kid's pretty smart, I like him alright."**

"Meh, kid's an bleep!hole. I'll come back later to watch Camp Camp with you. I'll also ask Weiss and Blake."

**"Okay, see ya, and don't forget, tomorrow... we have to talk with Jacques."**

"Do we really have to?"

**"I hate him as much as you _if_ not more, but we have to do it."**

"Alright, alright. Gosh I hate him."

**"Welcome to the club. I already called Adam and told him that he could wait here while we're going to Atlas."**

"Aren't you scared he'll try something here? Alone? In your apartment?"

**"He trusted me so I have to trust him you know. I'm sure he's not so bad."**

"...What's the real reason?"

**"I told him that he could punch Jacques once wherever he wanted. I'll let you guess where I advised him to hit."**

"Nice, now I'm jealous of Adam. Well done."

**"You're welcome. Also I'll stay with him in my room while you'll be traveling to Atlas."**

"You guys do know that we're still here right?"

"It's okay Jaune, I'm used to feeling unseen."

"So how many seasons?"

**"It says four but there are only three available on Youtube. I think the last one is on their site."**

"Is the site bad?"

**"It's... working. Sometimes."**

"Well let's start with the first season and see if it's good."

"Why didn't Ruby and Weiss come?"

**"Ruby said that it looked lame and Weiss said that it was a cartoon for kids."**

"Isn't it?"

**"Have you heard Max talking to you? Does he seem family friendly to you?"**

"Not really but I was a lot like him at his age."

**"What do you mean?"**

"I was really aggressive, expect physically speaking."

**"So physically or speaking?"**

"Shhh it's about to start."

"Well, that happened."

"Do we watch the next episode?"

**"I think we'll watch two more and then I'll go to sleep. You two can continue without me if you want to."**

"I'll pass, I need to be ready for tomorrow too."

"Well it's not fun to watch it alone so I guess I can wait."

**"Are you saying we're fun to hang around with Yang?"**

"I was talking to Blake."

"Oooh burn."

**"Shut up."**

"...So Author, I've heard you were single-"

**"Nope, this is not happening. I know you're just messing with me."**

"Well we could do a lot more than that."

**"I'm sure you've read it in the book I gave you you pervert."**

"So what if I did?"

**"Just put the next episode on Blake. God I hate you."**

"No you don't..."

**"Did you call Adam?"**

"Yes I did."

**"Then where is he?"**

"He said he'd be here."

**"When did you call him?"**

"Two hours ago."

**"What the bleep! is he doing then?"**

"I don't know. He's usually on time."

"What are you two talking about? Is someone coming?"

**"Well, yes and no."**

"You'll have to be clearer than that."

**"He'll be here but he's not traveling with us. I mean you."**

"So you're not coming?"

**"I'm coming but I'm not traveling with you guys. Only Yang is."**

_"Just my luck."_

"I don't understand, are you coming or not?"

**"How to explain it easily?"**

"You've never tried to tell it to someone before? We've known for a month now."

**"It's not everyday you think about this okay? Let's just say that Yang here is like a checkpoint. Everywhere she is, I can teleport there. And with my phone I can teleport Yang to my home and whoever she'll be holding will teleport with her. So all I have to do is send Yang in Atlas and join her later."**

"But why not travel with her? She'll feel lonely."

**"I can still talk with her while I'm home. Also I'll need to watch over an angsty teenager."**

"Isn't Adam older than us?"

**"You know what? Good question I'll ask him, never."**

"Bleep!"

**"Bleep to you too... ah, there he is. Took him long enough."**

"I'm here."

**"We can see that you bleep! Where the bleep! were you?"**

"Sharpening my blade."

**"Okay new rule, no weapons during the duration of the travel and the stay in Atlas."**

"You're a Faunus."

"So what if I am? Blake's also a Faunus but she's hiding it."

**"Okay you two calm down, we're all friends, well acquaintances at least here, so let's stop talking about Faunus and Humans and prejudices for now. We'll have plenty of time to talk about it later. Yang, if you would."**

"Yeah yeah."

**"Thanks... Hey it was actually funny this time."**

"I'm going to throw up!"

**"Do it in the trash, bin, whatever you call it."**

_"Are you sure you're going to be okay with him alone?"_

**"We're not going to have sex Yang calm down. I'll be okay, trust me."**

"Okay... you can send me back now."

**"Oh, right, yeah."**

"...Isn't it strange for you to do that? Is this Author's Semblance?"

"Not really, and not really. Don't worry about it. Let's just go to Atlas."

"How do we communicate with them?"

**"As long as you're holding the phone, Yang will hear you, but only her. If you want to say something to someone it will have to go through her."**

"This is pretty complicated."

**"Do you want to try talking with her?"**

"I can?"

**"Of course, make yourself at home. But don't get too comfortable okay?"**

_Yang, can you hear me!?_

'Yes I can! You don't need to shout! Why am I hearing you? Where's Author?'

_Why am I hearing your voice in my head!?_

'Because I'm actually thinking what I'm saying. I'm not talking. If I was you'd hear me through the phone.'

_This is really complicated._

'Meh, you learn to deal with it.'

_'WHAT IS HAPPENING!? WHY AM I HEARING VOICES IN MY HEAD!?"_

'Who is... Max? Is that you?'

_'Who are you and what are you doing in my head!? Get out!?'_

'You don't need to shout Max. This is Yang and the other voice is Adam. He's a... friend.'

_We're friends?_

_'Why can I hear your voices in my head?'_

'It's... a long story. Adam can you pass me Author please?'

**...Yeah, what is it?**

'Hey Author, Max can hear us thinking?'

**Really? How do you know that?**

_'Hey you bleep!'_

**Oh hey Max. How you holdin up buddy?**

_'Shut up.'_

'Can we get him to stop hearing us?'

**Does it really bother you Max?**

_'Yeah-'_

**Serves you right you little bleep!**

'Hey! He's a child!'

**A child that swears a bit too much if you want my opinion.**

_'Can you two just stop talking? I don't want to hear your voices in my head.'_

**Well you might be able to stop hearing Yang if she starts talking, but I'm already talking and you're hearing me.**

_'Damn it. Well just shut the bleep! up then.'_

**Can't, we're doing important stuff.**

_'You mean that asking 'who can hear what' is important stuff?'_

**I wasn't the one asking that it was Adam... No I'm not talking to you Adam... Yes I know that I said your name but I didn't... No you can't talk to Blake right now.**

_'OH MY GOD SHUT UUUUUUP!'_

**What are you even doing right now?**

_'I'm watching over Space Kid.'_

**...I have an idea. Grab Space Kid and don't move.**

_'What do you mean don't mo_ ooooOOOOOOOOVE WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!? WHY ARE YOU HERE!? ARE THOSE HORNS ON THAT GUY'S HEAD!?"

"Are we in space right now? Is this what space looks like? Is that an alien?"

**"Hey you two. We're not in space right now, you're in my house, and this is Adam, he's a friend so be nice to him please."**

"Do you speak our language alien?"

"I'm not an alien I'm a Faunus."

"Which alien species is this?"

_**"Drop it, the kid's in love with space. Just play along."** _

"Why and how the bleep! did you took us here!?"

**"Basically your world and the world you were in just before are both fictional worlds. You're actually from a web-series called Camp Camp and the previous world you were in is RWBY."**

"You mean like in Matrix? Or Inception?"

**"Nnnnnot really. Imagine the multiverse. In my world, the two worlds are fictions. But in your world, maybe RWBY is also a fiction while in their world maybe Camp Camp is a fiction."**

"I'm kind of lost but I think I understand. What then?"

**"Nothing."**

"What do you mean nothing? Don't we have to do something to regulate the flow of the universes or something?"

**"No... Why would we? Everything's fine as far as I know. Only your two worlds are connected to mine and we would know if another world was to come in contact with us."**

"Simmons? Could you pass me my cane?"

"Why don't you use a rifle?"

"Can your rifle shoot fire balls?"

"Good point. But I still don't understand how it works. A cane can't do that. Is it magical?"

"What? No. Everyone knows that magic doesn't exist even from where I come from."

"Where do you come from?"

"Remnant. Don't you?"

"Nope, never heard of it."

"Where do you come from then?"

"Earth like anyone else before the discovery of aliens."

"Aliens exist?"

"Uhm yeah, everyone knows that. Have you been living under a rock all these years?"

"I've never heard about aliens before. Usually all news were about the latest stolen shop."

"Who would do that?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"You were a thief?"

"I was the masterthief. Worst criminal in all of Remnant."

"Why did you join the army then?"

"Well I could either go to jail, join the army of Atlas or become a huntsman."

"A huntsman? What's a huntsman?"

"You've never heard of huntsman? Are you sure you're not the one that's been leaving under a rock?"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure I would've known."

"Whatever, being a huntsman requires too much work and dedication, luxuries that I don't have. And I'd prefer not going to jail, thank you very much."

"What about the Atlas army? It sounds like a cool army."

"I hate the general and he hates me back."

"Yeah but so do Sarge and Grif yet I'm pretty sure that they'd save the other if something happened to him."

"Did Grif ever shoot at Sarge and made him lose a body part?"

"No that was Sarge that shot Grif actually. Now Grif's got some of my own body parts."

"Ew, gross, and probably dangerous too."

"Well I haven't peed since the operation but I'm sure that's fine."

"Thank God we don't need to go on an adventure."

**"But isn't that already an adventure for you?"**

"...Shut up."

**Anyway, if you want you can play on the PS4 or read or sleep or whatever. I'll watch over Space Kid and Adam so you don't have to worry."**

"Why are you helping me? Are you like one of those priest that loves children too much? I'll shout if I need to you know?"

**"Ew please stop. I wouldn't touch someone a year younger than me because they're minors, why would I touch a child?"**

"Some people have weird kinks."

**"What's one of yours?"**

"Dude, I'm ten."

**"Right, we probably shouldn't talk about this together.**

"Anyway, can I use your phone?"

**"Uuuhm, no."**

"Why?"

**"Because I'm using it right now."**

_"By the way if you could stop holding it while talking if you're not talking to me that'd be very appreciated."_

**"Oops, sorry Yang."**

"Can I use it now?"

**"That's still a no."**

"Well I'm playing the PS4. Nobody bothers me."

**"You do that."**

"Did you know I went on the moon once?"

"But isn't the moon fractured?"

"What? The moon isn't fractured... Author is the moon fractured?"

**"This is gonna be a long trip."**

"We've arrived."

"Is this the Schnee mansion? It's bigger than I was imagining it to be."

"Mother inherited it from-"

"Yeah I don't care sorry. I'm just hear to talk to Jacques."

"You're going to talk to my father?"

"Yeah, guy's a racist."

"I may not like my dad but I won't let anyone hurt him."

"Oh no, we're not here to hurt him." 'Well Adam is but not us.' "We just wanna talk to him. He may be a racist but hopefully he's not an idiot."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Blake be nice with your friend's father."

"So we can call him a racist but not an idiot?"

"Just don't do it in front of Winter."

"I can hear you two you know?"

"Yeah I do, but I don't care." 'AUTHOR! WE'RE HERE!'

**...Yeah yeah I'm here sorry. I was preventing someone from dying in my house. Okay I'll get you here then.**

"...Okay so who's coming since someone has to stay here for you to come."

**"Well Adam will want to come, and we can't let Space Kid alone."**

"You can go and I'll stay. But! I'll keep the phone."

**"Uuuugh, fine. But don't buy anything and don't go though my contacts on any apps. You can use Youtube or Google if you want but no porn."**

"There's porn on Youtube?"

**"If you have a question just talk through the phone and Yang'll answer okay? Press this button to send us and this one to bring us back. Now that that's out of the way, send us please."**

"...This felt like how the rocket brought me to the moon. Expect less violent."

**"Of course Space Kid, now stay with me for as long as I tell you okay. Don't leave your eyes off of me okay."**

"Okay."

**"Hey Winter, do you know where your mother is right now?"**

"I thought that you wanted to speak to my father?"

**"Yes, your father, of course. Slip of the tongue really."**

"...He's probably in his office."

**"Cool, let's go everyone! Do you wanna come with us?"**

"No thanks, I still need to catch up with Klein."

**"Say hello from me. Even though he doesn't know me... Whatever."**

"The hallways are pretty big."

"Yeah, Beacon looks like a garage in front of it."

"I could see myself living here. Though I'd change the paintings."

"What, you don't like seeing paintings of racists in your house?"

"All these men were responsible for what happened to the Faunus. I'd burn every paintings if I could."

"I can do it. Just give me two hours and it'd be done."

**"Yes Adams, we're sure you would."**

"As anyone would and should."

**"Here we are I guess. We don't need to knock do we?"**

"It depends, do we want to make a good impression?"

**"There's two Faunus with us, Yang is... Yang, Space Kid is dressed like a hobo and I'm in pajamas. I don't think we can do a good impression."**

"Let's just knock." _Knock Knock_

_"...Yes, who is it?"_

**"Oh for bleep!"** _BAM_ **"Hello Jacques, we're here to talk with you."**

"Who in the hell are you people!? And why is there a Faunus from the White Fang here!? And why is he not the most concerning one that I have in front of me!?"

**"Actually there are two Faunus here-"**

"Author!"

**"But that's not important... Well actually it is but whatever. I'm here to make a demand."**

"I'm not giving you anything."

**"Good, we don't want anything. We just need your help."**

"My help?"

"His help?"

"HIS HELP!?/HIS HELP!?"

"...His help?"

**"Yes, your help. Space Kid you can stop looking at me you know?"**

"But you said-"

**"I know what I said. Look at Adam instead."**

"Who?"

**"The alien. Anyway, yes, your help. We need your cooperation with the White Fang."**

"And why would I help these criminals? All they've done is harm my family and associates."

"Because you've harmed us first!"

"That is not true. You animals only know violence."

**"Okay, everyone shut up! You're both wrong. Faunus may share traits with animals but they're not animals. You're being a racist by saying that. And just because they may have harmed you first doesn't mean that you should have answered the same way."**

_"I have no idea what they're talking about but the alien looks pissed."_

_"Hey Space Kid, how about you and I take a walk?"_

_"But Author said-"_

_"I know what he said but I'm his friend so listen to me okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"Hey, I'm taking SK with me, call me if something happens okay?"_

_**"Okay but where are you going?"** _

_"Well, you may have called dibs buuuuut."_

**_"What do you-you bleep! Fine, go see her."_ **

_"I'll tell you how she was."_

**_"Please just go."_ **

"Where are they going?"

**"She's watching over him in one of the bedroom. Anyway, back on the discussion. We need your help with the White Fang. If you, Jacques Schnee, were to help the Faunus cause, they wouldn't feel threatened by you and they would stop their violent ways. I'm not asking you to do it out of the kindness of your heart, I'm asking you to do it because it's the right thing to do."**

"Hmph, that is really a stupid thing to ask of you. You thought that all you needed to do was to come here and ask me and I would do it? Are you an idiot?"

**"Not really, I knew that negotiations wouldn't work. Thankfully, I have plan B. Adam? If you may."**

"Gladly."

"What are you-AH _aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."_

**"Even I feel bad about him. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG! WE NEED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"**

"...Hey I'm here."

**"Where's Space Kid?"**

"With Willow, she took a liking to him."

**"Lucky him, can you grab him and ask Max to bring us back?"**

"Sure." 'MAX, BRING US BACK PLEASE!'

 _Ugh fine..._ What took you guys so long and... Did you kidnap that guy!?"

**"What!? No!? he's not a kid. We captured him. That's completely different."**

"What are you gonna do to him!?"

**"I don't know, I didn't think this far off to be honest."**

"How can you still be calm right now?"

**"Because I don't risk anything. You have the phone with you. If something happened to me you could just bail me out."**

"You're bleep!ing crazy you know that?"

**"Huhuh, has anyone rope!?"**

"Ughh, what happened? Where am I? Why is it dark?"

**"Did he really get a concussion from a punch in the bleep!?"**

"I didn't even use my good hand."

**"It's okay Adam, but no more violence now."**

"What do you people want!?"

**"We want... Who put a bag over his head?"**

"I thought it'd be more intimidating for him."

**"Thank you Space Kid but that wasn't necessary. Sorry for the bag Jacques. So, I was sayiiiing... Right. We want your help that's all."**

"And you thought that capturing me would make me help you?"

**"Well, yeah. I mean either we kill you and nobody'll know that it was us or you help us and you'll never see us again."**

"...Can't I just give you money instead?"

**"Oh my bleep!ing... Yang! Pass me the goddamn phone!"**

"You didn't need to shout."

**"Thanks... Weiss? Hello?"**

_"What do you want Author?"_

**"Can you convince your dad to help the White Fang?"**

_"Is my dad with you?"_

**"Yes, say hello Jacques."**

"Weiss darling! They captured me and they threatened to kill me!"

_"...Author, did you really capture my dad?"_

**"Yeahhhh, but they were empty threats, I wouldn't kill him."**

_"Good."_

**"I have better things to do than that. And I'm pretty sure Adam would deserve it more than me."**

_"Authooooor."_

**"Fine fine. Well can you convince him?"**

_"Of course I can. Jacques?"_

"Weiss!? How dare you-"

_"Shut up dad. I suggest you actually listen to him or mom, Winter and I will call a lawyer and take back the Schnee name and company from you. Are you convinced now?"_

"I... Fine, I will help the White Fang with their stupid Faunus problems. But Weiss, you are destitute."

_"You can't do that actually. Only mom can. Have fun leaving alone with 'some' money Jacques."_

**"Thank you Weiss, how about when I come back we go to McDonald? We didn't go yet."**

_"That'd be nice Author. See you."_

"Can you untie me now please?"

**"Yeah yeah. Yang?"**

"Yeah I know."

**"...Finally, this is over. Is Remnant finally at peace or did we forget anything?"**

"Well there was Salem, the White Fang, we don't know what happened to Roman but apparently he joined an army?"

**"Well, I think we deserve some vacations."**

"Can we go to the beach?"

**"If you know one in Remnant sure."**

"I'm sure Weiss does. What do you want to do now?"

**"Well, I never did visit Willow."**

"Well I did."

**"How is she?"**

"I would have had an erection if I had a bleep! between my legs."

**"Damn, let's go then."**


	18. "You're only defending her because you find her hot."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, it's been a while since I've posted something here, it feels good to be back. However, I have no plan for the future, I don't want to write a serious story and I don't know what to do with the Reds and Blues so, we'll see. Hope you'll enjoy the chapter nonetheless.

'Hey Author, you there?'

**...**

'Authoooor?'

**...**

'AUTHOOOOOR!!!!?'

'OH MY BLEEP!ING GOD YANG SHUT THE BLEEP! UP!'

'Oh hey Max, have you seen Author?'

'No, why would I?'

'I don't know, maybe because you actually spend all your time at his place instead of Beacon, you know, with your team.'

'They're not my teammates. I don't have a team, I'm a solo player.'

'Oh really? So you're not their leader?'

'...What do you mean?'

'Well you seemed like the type of person that could lead people in a fight. You're smart, and almost always in control of the situation.'

'Don't try and patronize me. I could be a leader if I wanted but that's not the case.'

'Too bad, you and Ruby could have been friends. She could have given you some tips too.'

'Your sister? The one that shares a voice with Space Kid of all people? No thanks.'

'Hey! Ruby's not bad, and I'm sure SK's got something for himself, he may be dumb but many adults are dumber.'

'Calling Space Kid dumb is like calling the sun a little ball of fire. He's the stupidest person I've ever met.'

'You didn't meet a lot of people then.'

'I guess it's true.'

'So, wanna hang out?'

'No thanks.'

'At least I tried. But why not? You can't just spend all your time here doing nothing.'

'Is this an invitation?'

'No it isn't, seriously Max, why aren't you with your friends?'

'Friends is a pretty big word but I'll tolerate it. As for why, they're exhausting. My time here in Beacon is like vacations for me.'

'Except that you're not in Beacon right now.'

'What can I say, I like traveling.'

'Max, staying in the same room is not considered traveling.'

'Why do you act like you care? Can't you bother someone else?'

'Because I do care. We may not have known each other for a while but I still care. We can both hear Author in our heads for some reason and we're both in web-series in his world, we have a lot in common. Don't you want to find out why it is happening to us and only us?'

**"Is that a bleep!ing warthog!?"**

"What's a warthog?"

**"This vehicle here! It's called a warthog!"**

"I've never saw one like that in Atlas."

**"That's because they're not from Atlas! They're not even from Remnant! And it means... HEY! CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME!?"**

"Why are you shouting?"

**"To know if someone can hear me."**

"Well there's a soldier here, why don't you ask him?"

**"There's a wh... Oh my god."**

"Oye, ¿has visto gente con armaduras como la mía?"

**"You're Lopez right!?"**

"¿Me reconoces?"

**"Holy bleep! the Reds and Blues exist... OH NO THEY EXIST!"**

"¿Por qué nadie responde a mis preguntas?"

**"Oh Lopez, I'm so sorry I don't speak Spanish so I can't understand you all that well, but you can use my phone to translate what you want to say."**

_"Do you know me?"_

**"Yeah I do, it's a long story and I'll tell you but first we need to find the other Reds and Blues."**

_"I don't know where they are."_

"Who are the Reds and Blues? Am I still drunk?"

**"No Willow, you're not drunk. You stopped drinking after finally divorcing with your bleep!hole of a husband."**

"Jacques and I divorced? When?"

**"Just take your ring off. We'll do a real divorce later. Right now, we need to find the Reds and Blues."**

_"Do you know how?"_

**"Well, I have a way. I just need to call someone real quick."**

'No, I don't. It's probably just some dumb luck.'

'Well you're no... I have a call, we'll talk about this later.'

'We won't.'

"...Yeah Author, why didn't you answer when I called you?"

_**"You didn't call me."** _

"No but like, mentally."

_**"I didn't hear it with all the snow here. Did something important happen?"** _

"Nah, just wanted to hang out. What about you? Why are you calling?"

_**"You won't believe me."** _

"Try me."

_**"The Reds and Blues exist and they were in Atlas, I'm with Lopez right now."** _

"You're lying!?"

**_"I swear, I saw a warthog and we saw Lopez not far from it."_ **

_"I was the one who saw him."_

**_"Yeah, Willow saw him... or it... them... Which pronouns should we use?"_ **

_"Lopez."_

**_"Willow was the one who saw Lopez."_ **

"That's awesome! Where are the others!?"

**_"We don't know. I need you here to bring us back to my place so I can talk to whoever from that universe can hear me in their head too."_ **

"And where are you?"

**_"...Good question. Willow, do you know where we are?"_ **

_"The Schnee Mansion's garden."_

**_"But we walked in a straight line for twenty minute."_ **

_"I know what I said."_

"Why are you with Willow?"

_**"I'm helping her with her drinking problem. She can still drink here and then but not when her children are nearby and it mustn't control her too."** _

"When was the last time she drank?"

_"It's been five hours now."_

"Hey that's good. It's progress."

_"I couldn't find any other bottle lying around."_

**_"I took them for her, anyway, we'll be back in the mansion soon, meet us there, bye."_ **

"Bye... I wonder if Texas is with them. Or Carolina even."

"Holy bleep! that really is Lopez"

**"I told you! Imagine what we could do now that we know that they exist!"**

"I want to try one of their armor."

**"Dibs on the armor."**

"Di-Bleep not again!"

"What are you two talking about, who is this... Person?"

**"It's a robot actually and his name's Lopez."**

"Its name."

**"Remnant's not my native language."**

"Are you from Vacuo?"

**"No but it's not important."**

"But where are you from then?"

**"...Are you really interrogating me right now?"**

"You are in my property right now young man so I command you to answer."

**"France."**

"France? Never heard of it."

**"Yeah, that's what everyone says when I tell them."**

_"How do you plan on locating the reds and blues?"_

**"I thought that you hated them."**

_"I do but they have the other Warthog."_

"And so?"

_"I need it, for personal reasons."_

**"...Okayyy, well here's what I wanted to try. You know how you and Max are the only people who can hear me inside of their heads right?"**

"You're going to talk in your world to find who can hear you?"

**"...Wow, thank you Yang. You really ruined my fun today."**

"Always a pleasure. If you would..."

**"Alright alright. Willow, do you wanna come to France? With us?"**

"Why would holding Yang's hand bring me to France?"

**"Just answer the question please."**

"...Fine."

**"Great, just hold on tight and try not to throw up okay? I suggest that you also close your eyes."**

"But it takes all the fun out of it."

 **"Shut up Yang, you're just used to it by now.**. **Hey Max."**

"Hey a...sshole."

**"...Why did you pause?"**

"To not trigger the bleep."

"We can do that!? Fu...ck. Holy sh...it it works!"

"Wait you didn't know?"

"No I never tried it. This is awesome!"

"I'm gonna throw up!"

**"Not on the floor! My mom's gonna kill me. Quick, follow me!"**

"...That was disgusting."

"She's a little old, and she drank less than two hours ago."

"So why are you guys here?"

"Why do you want to know? I thought that you didn't care."

"I'm bored."

"...Alright, I'll allow it this time. We found out that the Reds and Blues exist and we're gonna try and talk to them."

"The Reds and Blues?"

"Yeah, they're from an other web-series, like us."

"And how do you know that they exist?"

"Because Author and Willow found a Warthog and Lo...pez...Fu-"

"It huuuuuuurts."

**"I know Willow, it's going to be okay, just breath in and out like me. One...two. One...two."**

"That's for panic attacks you idi-BLUUUUUUURGH!!! Guuuuuh my head!"

**"Just drink a little water, and take a gum. You're breath is a little...bad."**

"Of course it's bad I'm Bleep!ing throwing up."

**'She's so hot when she's angry.'**

**"It's okay, do you still feel like throwing up?"**

"No but I still wanna shoot myself."

**"Same. Anyway let's go back with the others."**

"Can we wait just a little, I'm not that young you know?"

**"You're not that old too."**

"How old do you think I am?"

**"I don't know, aren't you in your forties?"**

"HA! I wish. I'm actually-"

"-ck, we forgot to bring Lopez with us!"

"You guys are a...ssholes."

"Can you stop doing that? It's strange not to hear the bleep."

"I don't know who or what is preventing us from cursing but it's my right, and they won't take that away from m-"

**"GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME!"**

"DON'T TELL ME! THIS IS PERSONAL!"

"What is it? And why are you flustered?"

"I told him my age and he laughed at me."

**"I CAN'T... I CAN'T BR-BREATH! OH GOD! OOW! WHY DID YOU PUNCH ME!?"**

"You had it coming, don't you know that it's disrespectful to mock a lady because of her age?"

**"I was laughing with her!"**

"No you weren't, apologize, now."

**"Fiiine, I'm sorry Willow, I'm sorry for laughing at the fact that you're-OOOOOW!"**

"You bas...tard. Next time you pull something like this I'm activating my Semblance."

"Can you guys be more quiet? I'm trying to enjoy my game here."

"You're not even playing kid, and how old are you?"

"Why don't you tell me how old you are Granny?"

"...Yang?"

"I'm on it."

"You're on wha-WHAT THE BLEEP!? YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!"

"You deserved it, if anyone makes another comment on Willow's age, I will personally beat the crap out of them."

**"You're only defending her because you find her hot."**

"Yeah and? Does it bother you?"

"Are we just not going to acknowledge the fact that I'm still here?"

"Shut up hot stuff, Author, you need to send me back, we forgot to bring Lopez with us."

**"Lo- oh bleep! you're right, here."**

"...I still find it pretty strange that we can do this. It's not normal you know?"

**"You get used to it."**

_"Okay I've got him, you can bring me back."_

**"Aaand she's back, sorry Lopez, we didn't notice that you weren't here."**

_"Is it normal that I want to throw up even though I don't have a mouth?"_

**"I, uuh, don't know how to answer that. Anyway, now that you're here, let's try and see if we can contact them mentally."**

"Am I gonna hear you in my head again? It was already annoying the first time."

**"Shut up Max, just don't answer, I need to be able to hear them."**

**'Can anyone hear me?'**

_'...'_

**'I repeat, can anyone hear me? A Red or a Blue? Or a Freelancer?'**

_'...Hello!? Yes! I! Can! Hear! You! Can! You! Hear! Me!?'_

**"Oh God no why him?"**

"Who was that?"

"That was Caboose, of all people."

"Wait I don't understand, you can all talk telepathically?"

**"I can hear people's thoughts if I'm focusing hard enough, and I have a link with some special people, we don't know why but we don't question it either."**

"I am questioning it, you guys only just don't care."

**"Exactly, we don't care."**

_'CAN! YOU! HEAR! ME!'_

'HEY! SHUT THE BLEEP! UP!'

**"Max!"**

_'I'm sorry! I won't think anymore!'_

**'No Caboose! Keep thinking! We need your help!'**

_'But Church told me not to listen to the voices in my head.'_

**'Is Church with you right now?'**

_'...'_

**'Caboose, is Church with you?'**

_'Oh, sorry, I was looking for him in my head. I can't find him here.'_

**'Do you know who Felix is?'**

_'Is it that orange guy-'_

**'Yeah that's-'**

_'-with a cane and a bowler hat?'_

**'...With what now?'**

_'The cane and the bowler hat.'_

**'When you say orange, are you talking about his hair color?'**

_'Yes.'_

**'...'**

_'...'_

**'Caboose, where are you right now?'**

_'Well Sarge drove the Warthog through the snow, and then we passed drove underwater and now we're with a nice strong man who took us in.'_

**'Who took you guys in?'**

_'I think his name is Taiyin or something.'_

**'You mean Taiyang?'**

'You're with my dad in Patch!?'

_'Oh no, I can heat two voices now!'_

**'Caboose, can you pass my message to the other Reds and Blues please?'**

_'What is your message?'_

**'Don't, bleep!ing, move.'**

_'I can do that... Don't bleeping move.'_

**'Good, see you later Caboose.'**

**"Yang, call your dad, we need to warn him."**

"We are not leaving him alone with them, especially not in my house."

**"Willow, do you have any fast means of transportation available for us?"**

"Yes I believe I do."

**"Great then we need-"**

"But not for you, _young_ man."

**"...Are you still angry that I laughed earlier."**

"And what if I am?"

**"Alright, Willow Schnee, I am feeling guilty of laughing at your age, I am very sorry and I hope that you can forgive me."**

"Was that so hard now?"

**"No, it wasn't."**

"Then my personal Bullhead is on the way to take us all... where exactly?"

"Patch, my birth island."

"Then Patch it is then."

"Are we there yet?"

**"No."**

"Are we there yet?"

**"No."**

"Are we there yet?"

**"You know that you're gonna get tired before me right? I only have to say no while you do all the job."**

"But I'm really annoying so, are we there yet?"

**"No."**

"Are we there ye-"

"I will throw you both out of this Bullhead if you continue."

"..."

**"..."**

"Thank you Yang."

"You're welcome Willow."

"Miss Schnee, I believe we have arrived."

"Very well, please just park the Bullhead somewhere near the house Klein."

"Of course Miss Schnee."

"And call me Willow, I'm not with Jacques anymore, and I won't fire my best butler and friend."

"If that is what you want Willow."

**"Can the Bullhead turn invisible?"**

"Not that I know of, why?"

**"They'll probably steal it, I'm trying to guess what's going to happen with and because of them."**

"Why would they steal a Bullhead?"

**"They're the Reds and Blues, don't question it."**

_"They are idiots, logic doesn't apply to them."_

**"Lopez is right, we'll need to make them hear us. My plan? Yang."**

"I'm on it."

"What about us?"

"Why did you even come? Why didn't you go with your group?"

"Well-"

"Space Kid no!"

"It's a mental breakdown."

"It's not actually a speed boost, you see your atoms are basically-"

"Professor Port! I want to fight against an Alpha Beowolf bare-handed like you told us you did!"

"I'M FLYYYYYYYYYYYYING!"

"-they don't really need me."

**"You and Willow will stay back until we're absolutely sure than nothing will harm you."**

"I can defend myself, thank you very much."

**"Sorry it's just that I never got to see you fight Willow."**

"My ancestors were proud Huntsmen and Huntresses, the most feared in all of Remnant, I am no exception to that."

**"Okay, you can come with us, I get it. What about you Max, do you want to come too?"**

"I'm staying with Lopez in the Bullhead."

**"Maaax."**

"I promise not to start the Bullhead while I'm in it."

**"Good, you too Lopez, do not start it unless I tell you to."**

_"I am not taking orders from you."_

**"Let's get going then, lead the way Yang."**

"When this is over I'm going to show you guys everything that I know about Patch. It's a really nice place once you get to actually know it."

**"There's no club here right?"**

"Nope, well not unless they built one while I was in Beacon."

"I could still pay people to build one here if you want."

"Oh thanks Willow, I'll think about it."

**"Willow, don't encourage her."**

"What happened to Grif exactly?"

"What do you mean? I'm Grif. Look, I'm lazy and I hate you."

"You're not Grif, you may have a point and also have his armor but you don't even have his voice."

"I just hit puberty, yeah, that's a valid excuse."

"See!? You're saying that it's an excuse! You're not Grif, what did you do to him?"

"Simmons! What are you doing!? I can't sleep with all this noise that you're doing."

"Sarge, an impostor took Grif's armor and pretends to be him."

"Well yeah, I know that, I was the one who ordered him to do that."

"But where's Grif!?"

"In the bathroom, passed out."

"Drunk?"

"We may have needed him drunk to take his armor off of him."

"You stole his armor!?"

"It's not that big of a deal, there was so much grease in this stuff we had to ask Tai where the washing machine was."

"And when we told him that we didn't know how to operate it he just kicked us out of the bathroom."

"How did Taiyang react when he noticed Grif's state."

"He said 'not another drunk for Gods sake.' "

"What did he mean by...Did you hear someone knocking?"

"I bet it's those dirty blues."

"With all due respect sir, they are already in the house."

"Then it's reinforcement! Quick, attaaaaa-OOOOOOWWW!"

"Helloooo!"

**"Nice place."**

"I know right. Oh hey there... Sarge I'm gonna guess?"

"How are you so strong!? You're a woman!"

"...I'm gonna ignore this comment. Hey Grif, hey Simmons."

"That's not Grif that's the new recruit."

"Roman?"

'Bleep!'

"What no, I'm Grif, I just have a-WAIT PLEASE NO, I'M SORRY JUST DON'T PUNCH ME PLEASE!"

"Calm dooown! I wasn't going to punch you, I was just checking if it was you under the mask."

"I'm Roman yes, just please don't punch me, I know that you're packing a really nasty punch."

"You're very knowledgeable, that's good. What are you doing with the Reds and Blues?"

"Well since I didn't work for Salem and that I couldn't work as a teacher, I was looking all around Remnant for a job. And then these guys showed up at a bar, saying that they worked in the army. I was about to leave the bar since I thought that they meant the Atlas military but then I noticed that they were even shittier than those at Atlas."

"We needed a replacement for Donut who tragically died and this guy volunteered himself, I gotta say, since he took Grif's place, life's easier."

"He only replaced Grif an hour ago."

"The best hour of my life... Can you drop my arm now please?"

"Sure, but there's no fighting in my house, got it?"

"Wait, you don't mean that you're related to Taiyang right?"

**"Nooo, she's just his daughter."**

"...What have I done?"

"Hey what's all that noise!? I swear if someone broke something I'm-Yang!"

"Dad!"

"What are you doing here!? Aren't you supposed to be at Beacon? Have you been expelled already!?"

"No I haven't been expelled, I'm just here because of these guys that you allowed to stay in our home."

"What about them? Are they criminals? Well I already knew about Roman here but he told me that his criminal life was behind him."

"For now."

"What did you say?"

"Hm? Nothing."

"...You brought people?"

"Yeah, there's my friend, Author and there's-"

"You are Miss Schnee I presume?"

"Call me Willow, and you are Mr Xiao Long then?"

"My name's Taiyang, but you can call me, anytime."

"I will pick you up on the offer."

"Daaad!"

**"Let him live a little, he's been single for too long. And don't you want Weiss as your sister-in-law?"**

"...It wouldn't be so bad I guess. And let's not forget about the money."

**"Good thinking."**

"You're Author right?"

**"Yes, pleasure to meet you sir."**

"Just call me Tai, no need for that sir crap."

**"Okay then Tai, how many people did you invite in your house?"**

"Well there's them, the one in the bathroom, the two in the guest's bedroom, and the other two in the garden."

**"Can you show me the way to the guest's bedroom please?"**

"Yeah, no problem."

**"Thanks, Yang you check on the garden?"**

"Yup."

"What do we do about Epsilon?"

"It's over, we can't do anything. It's going to be trapped in there forever."

"I wish we could have done something to prevent it."

"Yeah, it didn't deserve... I'm hearing footsteps."

"Can I come in? Someone wants to talk to you."

"Yes you can."

**"...Agents Washington, Carolina it's a pleasure to be meeting you both."**

"Who are you and how do you know us?"

**"Please lower your weapons, and I can explain it to you two but I'd rather explain it to everyone at the same time. Can you please come to the living room?"**

"Fine, but I'm not trusting you."

"Carolina, it's okay, he's not even armed."

"...Fine, let's just go."

**"...Well this went better than I expected."**

"What did you expect?"

**"A few broken ribs."**

"Caboose what did we tell you, do not listen to the voices in your head, they're not real."

"But they sounded so real! Like when Chuch and agent Texas were in my head those times."

"Well I'm telling you, no one is going to come here and-"

"Hey Tucker, hey Caboose."

"Hey, to come here and-wait, hello there blondie, what's your name?"

"The name's Yang, the age's seventeen."

"...For how long?"

"You sound like the lady that was in my head!"

"That's because I am, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm doing great, I got to eat cooked food for the first time in..."

"...In what?"

"In what what?"

"You, I, you know what? Let's just drop it. Why are you guys here?"

"I don't really know to be honest, Carolina and Wash told us follow them and next thing we know, we end up on this planet."

"Well, this is my planet, so don't make a mess here without telling me about it first."

**"Yaaaang!"**

"Ah, duty calls, why don't you two come with me?"

"Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow."

"You're disgusting, follow me, and shut up."

"Wow, how did you make that thing with your eyes?"

"What did I say?"

"You said, 'You're disgusting, follow up and shut me.' "

"...Thank you Caboose."

"You're welcome."


	19. "Who cares about that except for nerds like Simmons?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this chapter is a crossover with my other work "Mercury or how high school turned out to be fun." so I guess that you'll maybe not understand everything that's happening if you haven't read it. I will also post this chapter on the Mercury one since they're both considered canon. For those who do not know about my other work, don't worry, this was just a bonus chapter and it won't be brought up again, just know that it is canon but it doesn't affect the rest of the story. Anyway, I hope you'll have as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

Emerald had fallen asleep while watching the movie with her head on Ruby's shoulder and her legs on Mercury's laps. When she opened her eyes again she found herself in a black void. She looked around her but nothing was here except for her so she guessed that she had put herself under her own hallucination due to her lack of sleep, however when she tried to get out of the void she found out that she was unable to do so and she began panicking. She started biting her nails until she heard a voice come from behind her.

 _ **Yaaaang!**_ She turned around but saw no one here, plus she did not recognize the voice.

 _Ah, duty calls, why don't you two come with me?_ This time she recognized the voice of Yang but she still was not able to see her.

'Uhm Amber, you there?' As soon as she asked for her, Amber materialized in front of her, nude.

_'Hello Emerald, did you call me?'_

'Why are you naked?'

 _'Well seeing as I'm dead and you're also a girl, I don't need clothes. I never saw a ghost with clothes on them.'_ What happened next made Emerald and Amber yell since a blue armored soldier with a sniper rifle in his hands came out of existence. Emerald knew that she never should have accepted to watch the movie with them, but she did not remember seeing him from the movie. _'Hum, hello? Who are you?'_

_"Hey, wait, why are you naked?"_

_'What do you mean why am I naked? I'm a ghost and you're a ghost. Why do you have an armor?'_

_"Wait what? I'm not a ghost, I'm an AI."_

_'A I?'_

_"Yes, an AI."_

_'What does the A stand for?'_

_"Artificial."_

_'And the-'_

_"Intelligence. I'm an AI and my name is Epsilon, but you can call me Church since almost everyone call me that."_

_'Alright Church, what are you doing here then?'_

_"Good question, I don't know."_ Emerald began pinching herself in multiple parts of her body and when she saw that she was not dreaming she cursed.

"Bleep!" However instead of hearing her own voice, she heard a censor noise coming out of her mouth.

_"Did you say something? Also what's up with the green hair and red eyes?"_

"What about you? What's up with the blue armor?"

 _"It's cobalt you idiot, what are you blind? Bleep!ing idiot."_ Emerald turned to Amber.

"You heard it right?"

_'Heard what?'_

"That's it, I'm crazy. I knew it would happen one day. First of I wake up in the middle of literally nowhere, then you appear in front of me naked, then a guy I've never met before says that he's an AI, and to top it all off I hear a stupid noise whenever someone curses. Bleep!ing great!"

 _Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow._ Epsilon, or Church whatever, turned his body to the source of the noise.

_"Wait, was that Tucker? What the bleep! is he doing here?"_

_'Who's this Tucker you're talking about?'_

_"He's a fr-an associate of mine. I can't believe I almost said that."_

"Can you two leave? I'm trying to find a way to go back to the real world." Emerald shooed Amber but Church was still here.

_"So, what's your name?"_

"I'm not giving my name to an AI that sounds like an old guy."

 _"Hey! I'm not an old guy. And I told you mine so it's only fair that you give me yours."_ Emerald looked around herself, hoping that the scene would have changed but she was not so lucky and sighed while closing her eyes.

"I'm Emerald."

_"Hello Emerald, do you wonder why you're here?"_

"...What kind of stupid question is that? I don't, that's why I've been trying to get out in the first place."

_"Well do you remember how you got here?"_

"I was with my friends, and we were watching a movie, and I fell asleep."

_"That's gonna sound stupid but, have you tried waking up?"_

"You're right, it does sound stupid."

_"Have you tried it?" Emerald stared at the AI but the AI's helmet prevented her from seeing its reaction._

"I'm not doing that."

_"Why? That seems fairly logical to me. You fell asleep so you should try and wake up."_

"Nothing about this is logical!"

**_Wait, is someone here?_ **

"Oh great, another voice I don't recognize."

**_Hello? Can you hear me?_ **

"Yes I can, who are you?"

_**Emerald, is that you?** _

_"No this is the space pope, of course this is Emerald!"_

**_Church!?_ **

_"You know me!?"_

**_Kind of? Are you two together?_ **

"Ew, me with him? No thanks. I'm already with Merc and Ruby."

_"He meant our position you dumbbleep!"_

**_Wait, what did you say!?_ **

_"He meant our position you dumbbleep!?"_

**_No not you, Emerald._ **

"I said no thanks."

**_Just after that._ **

_"I'm already with Merc and Ruby?"_

_**...Don't move.** _

"Oh haha real funny you bleep!hole. It's not like we're stuck here."

**"YAAAAAAAAAANG!"**

"What!? Why are you shouting!?"

**"Something happened. Something really big."**

"What happened?"

**I'll try and send you somewhere and I need you to bring back two people with you."**

"Where are you sending me?"

**"I don't know."**

"...Sure, why not." Author used his phone and sent Yang to, well nowhere that Yang recognized. The place was empty. "Uhm, Author? Where did you send me exactly?"

**I told you, I don't know. You should find Emerald and Church here however.**

"Emerald? What would Emerald be doing here?"

**I don't think this is our Emerald. I think this one's from a different universe.**

"Sooo, kinda like us?"

**Yeah you can say that.**

_"...Do you think they'll come back?"_

"How would I know? I've never met the guy and he didn't even give us his name."

_"Bleep! Well I'm not just going to sit around and talk."_

"I should be the one saying that, you're an AI, you shouldn't care."

 _"Oh yeah, you wanna fight? I may be an AI but I'm the one with the sniper rifle."_ Emerald looked at Church and tried to use her Semblance on him but it did not work. She did not know if it was because she was still tired, because she was in a weird dream world, or because Church was an AI but she just looked away.

"Whatever..."

"Hey there Emerald." Emerald looked behind her and noticed the blonde brawler with a smile on her face. "Where's your arm?"

"Yang, I don't have time for your jokes, do you know how to get out?"

"I think I do, grab onto my hand." Any other day and Emerald would have spit on her hand but since this day was already crazy enough for her she just took the hand. "You too Church."

_"How do you know me? Were you a part of project Freelancer?"_

"I wasn't but I know what this is about. Now come on, we're leaving." Church tried to put his hand on Yang's shoulder but his hand went right through it."

_"Oh, right."_

"Just, put your hand through my shoulder."

_"Do you really think that's gonna work?"_

"Do you have a better idea?" Church looked at Yang but again, because of his visor Yang was unable to see the face he was making. All she heard was a sigh before the AI put its hand on and through her shoulder. "Okay Author, you can send me back."

 **Alright.** Emerald experienced many things in her life. She grew up living in the street, she worked for a woman who could use magic and who's boss wanted to kill every Human and Faunus, she even got herself into a relationship with her partner and a goth scythe wielder and recently she lost an arm. But despite all of this, traversing through space and time with a blonde brawler that she thought she knew and a ghost/AI in armor was the weirdest thing that ever happened to her, and it would only continue with time. When she arrived she found herself in Ruby's home in Patch, she recognized the place because she had used her Semblance on Ruby when they first started training it and that is the scene that Ruby's mind chose to take place. What definitely were not here in the hallucination however were the many colored soldiers in front of her, Ruby's father, a woman that resembled Weiss without the scar and with better... assets and a boy about her age with a object that looked like a Scroll in his hand. Emerald looked at every faces and helmets that she saw before getting up and throwing up on the floor because of the travel. She was not alone however as she heard someone else throwing up, she looked to her left and saw Church with his hands in front of his head.

**"I didn't know that AI's could throw up."**

"Well they say girls can't ejaculate either but guess what." Every head turned to Yang at the same time. "What? That's true."

"Didn't Grif's sister say the same thing?" The soldier with maroon colors asked.

"Yes she did, but speaking about Grif, where is he?"

"He's still drunk in the bathroom, snoring like a pig."

"What do you guys mean? Grif's right here. Also Grif, is it me or did you get taller since last time I saw you?" Church who had removed the binary vomit from his helmet asked the soldier with an orange armor.

"I believe you are mistaking me for that animal of a man, I am Vale's most searched criminal but you may call me-"

"ROMAN TORCHWICK!?" Emerald shouted when the ginger man took his helmet off.

"Hey there sweetheart, it's been a while huh? How's the boy doing? Wait, don't tell me, I don't care."

"What do you mean it's been a while? We've never talked before have we?"

 **"Ahem ahem."** Again every head turned to the source of the noise which came from none other than Author. **"Alright, it's time for some explanations but bear with me everyone, I do not know the whole story so I'll need everyone to stay calm and not talk at the same time, nod if you can do that."** Everyone nodded their head except for Caboose who shouted "Okay!". Author ignored him. **"Good, so, my name is Author, well it isn't but everyone calls me that anyway so, Author. And, I do not come from this world, in fact, I am the only one in this room who comes from a different dimension than you, well except for this Emerald but I'll get to that later. One day I discovered that I could talk with Yang here and that she could bring people to both my or her dimension if needed. We saved Remnant, the planet on which we're on right now and discovered other things. For example, the fact that not just our two dimensions are linked but also another one that we'll call the Camp-Camp dimension."**

"We also discovered that the Reds and Blues traveled to my dimension, which is the one we're in right now. And finally, we discovered her" Yang said pointing at a confused Emerald. "as well as him and I believe that you guys know each other." Church nodded his head at Yang and Yang motioned for Author to take over.

 **"So Emerald, my question is, where do you come from?"** Emerald looked at the person who called himself Author and fell unconscious. **"Well, that happened."**

"Do we need to call a doctor?" Taiyang asked while cleaning Emerald's vomit.

**"Nah, let's just put her somewhere more comfortable than the floor. Caboose?"**

"Yes, I am Caboose!"

**"Can you hold her, gently, and put her on the couch please?"**

"Yes, no problem!" Caboose did as he was asked and then went to talk with Church since he thought that he had died during their last stand on Chorus. But before he could actually talk to him, Carolina and Washington took him and told Caboose that they would let him talk to Church as soon as they were done 'catching up' with him. Caboose was sad but agreed and went to talk with Sarge instead. Simmons forced Roman to go with him and check on Grif's state, Taiyang and Willow decided to take a walk around Patch to dodge whatever was happening at Taiyang's home, and also because they wanted to get to know each other more. In the end, only Author, Yang, Tucker and an unconscious Emerald were left in the living-room.

"So, that happened. What now?" Tucker asked the two other conscious persons in the room.

"Well, I'm making myself a sandwich, I'm hungry."

"Ooh, can I have one too? Please."

"Sure, make yourself home."

"Thanks, and what about you?" Tucker asked Author while Yang went to the kitchen to prepare the three sandwiches, she knew that Author would want one too. The teal colored soldier noticed that Author was looking at the unconscious girl's prosthetic arm while scratching his chin. "Hey there, Remnant to idiot!"

**"Oh sorry, did you say something?"**

"What are you going to do?"

**"...I don't know. For now I'll keep watch over her until she wakes up and I'll explain her our situation as well as ask her how she got here in the first place."**

"Do you need me to alternate our shifts?"

**"Our shifts?"**

"Yeah so you can do something else instead of constantly watching over here. I'll take your place and call you if she wakes up."

**"Thanks Tucker, that's very kind of you."**

"Don't mention it." Yang came back with the sandwiches and she and Tucker watched a movie that was on the screen while eating and making small talks. Meanwhile Author took out his phone and began typing all the major events that happened since he first met team RWBY in his notes. He took a glance at Emerald and saw her mumble in her sleep.

" _Rub-Merc..."_ Author sighed and continued typing until he was finished and his shift was over. While he was able to finish typing, he never got to trade place with Tucker since Emerald began waking up a few hours later.

**"Emerald? Are you okay?"**

"My head is spinning, can I get some water?"

**"What's the magic word?"**

"I think I'm gonna throw-up."

 **"Right away, also there's a trashcan next to you, if you do vomit."** Author went to the kitchen to fill a glass of water while Yang and Tucker approached Emerald.

"Hey Emerald, feeling good?"

"I've been better. Wait, who are you?" Emerald stared at the teal colored soldier in confusion. Why did it feel like this was not the first time she saw someone with an armor like that?

"I'm Tucker, and you're hot."

"I'm taken is what I am." Yang gasped.

"So you finally admit that you're with Mercury!?"

"What do you mean I finally admit? I've been going out with Merc and Ruby for a month now." Yang's smile stayed fixed on her face.

"What did you say?"

"That I've been with Merc and Ruby? We told you in the dorm remember." Yang searched Emerald's face for any sign of a lie but found none.

"You're being serious."

"Yang? What is happening? Why are you acting different?"

 **"I can explain that but drink this before."** Author gave her the glass and Emerald drank the glass in two gulps. **"I also need to ask you some questions and I'll need you to give me as much details as possible, can you do that?"**

"Yes."

**"Okay good, let's start. How did you lose your arm?"**

"We were training during professor Goodwitch's class and my team fought against Ruby's team. During the fight I put her under an hallucination and she almost killed Weiss if I didn't push her out of the way."

"But wait, I thought that you and Ruby and Mercury were together?"

 **"You're what now!?"** Emerald stared at Author. **"Ahem, you can continue."**

"It was an accident, Ruby didn't plan on hurting anyone and I don't blame her."

**"Who are the members of your team?"**

"We're team EBBN and I'm the leader. Blake is my partner and Neo and Merc are our teammates."

"Blake is in your team?"

"Yes? Why are you asking that? You know that."

"It's because you're not from the same dimension." Three heads turned to Tucker. "What? I followed the explanations earlier."

**"Who are Ruby's teammates?"**

"Weiss, Yang and Oscar."

**"Oscar huh? I forgot about him."**

"He's the farm boy right? Ozpin's successor?" Yang asked Author.

**"Yeah that's him."**

"Oscar is what?"

**"We'll explain don't worry... But wait, how old is Oscar?"**

"Seventeen like every first year except Ruby."

**"Okay, I'll need to keep that in mind."**

"Do you have other questions or can I ask you mines?"

**"Nah, I'm good for now, you can ask your questions."**

"Why am I in Ruby's home in Patch when I fell asleep in team ROSY's dorm in Beacon?"

**"That's because you didn't travel to a different place, you traveled to a different dimension thanks to Yang here."**

"'Sup?"

"Since when can you do that?"

"I'm not the Yang from your dimension, but to answer your question I'm not the only one able to do that. Two other guys can do it too."

"But why?"

"We don't know." Emerald pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

**"So you have a team in Beacon right?"**

"Yeah, that's what I said."

**"How strong is your team?"**

"We're the strongest team around, we're even better than team STRQ."

"My moms, dad and uncle's team?"

"Yeah."

**"Did Ozpin ever tell you something important about a fairy tale or something?"**

"Are you talking about the Maidens?"

**"Yes, do you know who the Maidens are?"**

"Well, yeah... but I can't tell you." Yang turned to Author but Author held up his hand.

**"It's okay, you can keep your secrets. Do you have another question?"**

"How do I go back?"

**"I should be able to send you to your dimension thanks to my phone, it's a kind of Scroll from my world."**

"Your world? Isn't there only two dimensions?"

**"You didn't hear my explanations earlier?"**

"What explanations?"

**"Or you forgot. I guess that works too. Well from what I gathered, there are five worlds, universes or dimensions right now. There's the one we're in right now where this version of Yang comes from-"**

"'Sup again."

**"There's the one from Camp-Camp."**

"Camp-Camp?" Emerald asked while tilting her head.

**"It's already a long explanation, stop interrupting me every second."**

"..."

**"There's the Red vs Blue one."**

"It's Reds and Blues, not Red vs Blue." Author stared at Tucker but could not see the expression behind the soldier's helmet so he just sighed.

**"There's yours which resembles the first one, and finally there's mine, and in my world, all of your worlds are Rooster Teeth's shows and series. It's a company in Texas."**

"Wait, is that why Church's ex is named Texas too?" Tucker asked Author.

**"Uh, I don't know but I guess that you're right. But I just told you that the multiverse exists and that's what is bothering you?"**

"Who cares about that except for nerds like Simmons?"

 **"Good point. So Emerald,"** Author turned back to the green haired girl. **" can we help you in any way?"** Emerald looked at Author, then Yang and finally Tucker before giving her answer.

"Can you just send me back please? I don't care about your multiverse thing, I only care about my friends and family."

**"But we could help if you wanted."**

"We're fine, we don't need your help."

 **"...Alright, if that's what you wish for. Just don't forget that we're here if you ever need help."** Yang took a step forward.

"And don't hurt Ruby or I swear that I'll come to your world just to beat you up. Understand?" Yang's eyes were no longer lilac and she stared at Emerald in a threatening way.

"I'll never hurt Ruby if I can prevent it." Emerald stared back with a look that said that she was being honest and after a few seconds Yang's eyes returned to their usual color.

"Alright, I believe you."

"..." Tucker looked in Emerald's direction but said nothing.

"..." Emerald looked back at the soldier, waiting for him to say something.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you were looking at me."

"No I wasn't."

"You're lying."

"I'm not!"

 **"Alright I'm ready to send you. Do you have anything to say before you go?"** Emerald looked around the room and noticed some kind of handle hanging on the teal colored soldier's thigh. It wasn't too big so it was just what she needed. She used her Semblance on the soldier to make it seem as if she was considering the question but she made a shushing motion to the two other occupants in the room before grabbing the handle and putting it in her back pocket.

"No, I'm fine." Author and Yang looked at each other and nodded their head while smiling.

 **"Then bon voyage."** Author typed something on his phone and Emerald found herself back in the weird transportation. She closed her eyes in hopes of not throwing up but after a few seconds she felt like she was not moving anymore. She opened her eyes and found herself back in team ROSY's dorm, with her head still on Ruby's shoulder and her feet on Mercury's laps. Ruby saw that her girlfriend woke up and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep well?" Ruby whispered to her since the movie was not finished yet.

"I had a weird dream."

"Was it a nightmare?"

"Nah, just a weird dream. I was in your home and there was Yang, your dad, Roman Torchwick but he was in an armor? I don't know, it was a weird dream about multiple dimensions."

"Maybe you traveled to another dimension?" Ruby teased her love.

"Haha, as if that was real." Emerald turned to kiss her girlfriend and felt something pocking her ass.

"Merc!?"

"What?"

"Did you just poke my ass!?"

"What? No? My hands are on your feet, how would I have done that?" Emerald looked at Mercury and saw that he was genuinely confused. She put her hand on her posterior and noticed that something was here. She put her hand in her back pocket and took out Tucker's energy sword but it was deactivated so really it was just a handle.

"What's that? Is it a weapon?" Ruby asked Emerald who looked up and down at the object in her hand.

"...Nah, it's nothing." She lifted her head and when she saw the room's trashcan, she threw the alien sword in it.

'I'm not dealing with them ever again, these guys are crazy.'

_Omake_

After the movie ended the students decided to go and eat at the cafeteria without knowing however that Author was watching them.

**"Alright, I'm sending you to bring back the sword, avoid everybody at all cost."**

"I can't believe you guys didn't warn me." Tucker was crossing his arms in front of him.

 **"We were gonna get it back eventually, stop whining."** Author sent Yang who arrived in team ROSY's dorm with no one in sight, she went to the trashcan and picked up the sword.

"I've got it, I'm ready to get sent back."

 **You do know that you don't need to say that, I can see you. It's a movie cliche because then someone will obviously spot you and-** Suddenly Ruby opened the door to the dorm and noticed Yang in front of the trashcan with the handle that Emerald threw earlier.

"Uhm Yang, how did you get here before me when you were in the cafeteria with us and why are you holding the handle that Emerald threw in the trashcan?"

"I uh, I ran because, it's the handle for my brush that is my favorite. Yeah." Ruby looked at Yang, Yang looked back at Ruby while smiling and sweating in fear of Ruby discovering that she was lying. Thankfully Ruby noticed the sweat but she believed that it was because Yang had run from the cafeteria to the dorm.

"Yeah that makes sense."

"Why are you here?"

**Yang what are you doing!?**

"Oh, I forgot to bring Crescent Rose with me since I was holding Mercury and Emerald's hands. I can be so absent-minded sometimes."

"Yeah, absent-minded." The two sisters smiled at each other but they did not move from their spot.

"... Well I'm just going to take Crescent here, aren't you coming?"

"You can go ahead, I'll join you after I put the handle back where it belongs."

"Alright, see ya sis!"

"See ya!" Ruby left the dorm and Author brought back Yang however Ruby opened the door again to ask a question to her sister but nobody was in the room. She was about to question it when she noticed that the windows were opened and that Yang probably jumped through them.

"...Why would she do that?" Ruby shrugged and closed the door before going back to the cafeteria.

"Here's your stupid sword."

"It's not my fault that you guys pulled a prank on me."

**"I still can't believe that a version of Ruby is going out with Mercury and Emerald."**

"Author, shut the bleep! up."


End file.
